Jayne's Bunk

Another year later...

2007-09-21T21:09:42Z

It amazes me that I log into Livejournal EVERYDAY to check my fav journals and yet I never visit my own! God how timing is flying by me. I am about to start my 3rd year at university and also my honours year and the work load has tripled. This is in addition to my job at the bank and trying to finish my fic 'A Reason' and watch the numerous amount of amazing TV shows currently on.

Just thought I would drop a line and say hi to my little corner of the world. Any 3 Key's Ladies reading...sorry I have been MIA.

LOVE,
Ally

Happy Halloween

2006-10-30T12:23:36Z

Hello Hello

Happy Halloween to you all...I am finally updating this here lovely journal which I shamefully neglect. Those of you who do not know...go ahead and check out the 3 Keys Group Halloween Fic Exchange...there are some great entries

http://community.livejournal.com/3keysficxchnge/

Also an update of my lovely almost epic like fic (lol) 'A Reason' is coming very shortly. It is with the beta so bug Lorett not me! :)

Unfortunatly it is a very short chapter but it is part of a 3 part chapter arc so most of the next bits are done in some shape or form.

Love to all of you!

hafthand @ 2006-09-03T08:18:00

2006-09-03T07:17:03Z

Updating for Lorett and Sara just to prove this exists! lol

OOoohh Chocolate

2006-04-29T21:13:03Z

bad thing bout this test...makes me want some chocolate! lol

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.
You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.
Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

What kind of girl am I

2006-04-29T20:56:23Z

Well these tests just keep hittin the nail on the head I must say!

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books.
You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more.
For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests.
A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

Season time!

2006-04-29T20:48:51Z

You Are Winter!

Intelligent
Serious
Cozy
Calm
Shy

What Season Are You?

Oh City time!

2006-04-29T20:45:02Z

Another lovely little test. This time what city. And I must say Rome nails me as I lived in Italy and am DYING to go back and live there again!

You Belong in Rome

You're a big city girl with a small town heart
Which is why you're attracted to the romance of Rome
Strolling down picture perfect streets, cappuccino in hand
And gorgeous Italian men - could life get any better?

What City Do You Belong In?

Oh my colour how insightful!

2006-04-29T20:40:56Z

Been ages since an entry so here is one!

Your Power Color is Green

You feel most at home in a world of ideas.
You're curious and logical - and enjoy a good intellectual challenge.
You're super cool, calm, and collected. Very little tries your patience.
Your only fear? People not realizing how smart and able you are!

What's Your Power Color?

Fun Quiz: Which Serenity character are you!

2005-12-06T23:41:08Z

You scored as River Tam. The Fugitive. You are clever and dangerous, which is a nasty combination. The fact you are crazy too just adds to your charm. They did bad things to you, but you know their secrets. They will regret how they made you.

</td>

River Tam

94%

The Operative

81%

Zoe Alleyne Washburne

75%

Inara Serra

69%

Simon Tam

56%

Capt. Mal Reynolds

56%

Hoban 'Wash' Washburne

56%

Jayne Cobb

50%

Kaylee (Kaywinnet Lee) Frye

50%

Shepherd Derrial Book

31%

Which Serenity character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Firefly fic: Enough

2005-12-06T23:25:44Z

Here is a lovely little Firefly ficlet I wrote up.

Title: Enough
Summary: Mal takes a look at his crew and thinks of the war he lost.
Rating: PG

Title: Enough
Author: Hafthand (Ally)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Property of FOX and Joss.
Summary: Mal takes a look at his crew and thinks of the war he lost.

A/N: Just a little look into our favourite Captain’s head. Written while listening to 'Ashoken Farewell' Greatest piece of music ever. Found in The Civil War. Literary Leming did a Firefly Video to the song and when I heard it had to write this. So thanks to her for reintroducing that piece of music to me.

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We lost the war. Plain and simple. Lotta folk died. Some didn’t. Why I made it and the men next to me ended up dead ain’t about skill. It was luck. Pure and simple. Luck decides whether you live or die in a war. You only get to pick which side. Some would say I was unlucky cause I picked the losing side. I say I am lucky cause I had the choice.
Men fight for lots of reasons: love, hate, revenge, morals, conquest, power. Me, I fought for my beliefs. Don’t have much of those now. Got a ship, got a crew and that is enough for me. Don’t need to believe in something that isn’t there anyway. Preacher done told me the Lord looks after the righteous. Well that would mean the Lord found the Alliance stuffed full of righteousness and well that just don’t sit right with the likes of me.

Zoe understands. She was there. She saw. But Zoe has made ties for herself. She went and married Wash against my orders and well…Zoe smiles now. Guess that is something. I’m happy for her. Not many came outta that Valley, and outta those that did, not many found any happiness. Smilin’ fits Zoe now, she has shaped herself around it. Wash taught her how to do that. Good man, Wash. Even better pilot.

We walked outta that war with nothing but our lives, be a shame to waste it now when so many others didn’t even get that chance. Kaylee sometimes smiles that sweet smile at me and looks at me like she knows I am thinkin’ bout the past. I thank the God I stopped believing in that she never seen war, though travelin with us she seen her fair share of death. But death ain’t the same as war.

Look at Jayne. Man seen more death than probably any of us, but when the war is brought up, he goes quiet like. He may not have fought on a side, but he’s old enough to remember what times were like out on the Rim then. He never saw a battlefield but that man has fought his own share of wars. I gotta respect him for that. He should be dead by all rights. People livin a life like him don’t last long. He has lasted longer than most and well we’re the same that way, he, Zoe and I. The three of us should be dead. We’re not though. Still alive and running while those around us have fallen.

I think Inara has seen war. Not the big one we fought, but that woman gets a look in her eyes when I talk about it that tells me she has scars of her own. Don’t know if she’ll ever show me them someday, don’t know if I really want her to. Would mean I would have to show mine.

Simon ain’t ever seen war in his life. Wouldn’t know it if it came up and punched that pretty face o’his. But that boy has more courage than some of those I went to battle with. I look at the love he has for that sister of his and I know that there are things worth fightin’ for in this life. Even if you lose, you still gotta fight. A man couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t. I see the doc watchin his sister slowly gettin better and I see the truth on his face. Man gave up everything he had to protect her. Doesn’t regret it for a second.

And little River. Well River is why we fought in the gorram war in the first place. What government has the right to cut up a little girl like that? Why should I live under their rules when they don’t seem to live by any themselves. Every time I look at the girl I remember why I chose what I did. I know Zoe does as well. And I think Jayne might just see the same things I do when he looks at her, and well that scares him. Scares him into doin stupid stuff, but I know my mercenary well enough to know what makes him tick. I’m thinking that little girl is gonna make Jayne more human. Think she’ll make us all more human in the end.

In Serenity Valley we lost a war. In Serenity Valley I lost my faith. But now, on Serenity, I find myself reaching out again. Inviting people into my life. Slowly tearing down walls I built high and thick. Should be interesting to see where I end up. Like I told the Doc, even though we might get shot at, tracked, hunted down, and betrayed, we’re still flying. And that, for now, is enough.

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A/N: Hmm thoughts?
Love, Ally
‘I’ll be in Jayne’s bunk!’

Draco/Hermione fic: A Reason chapters 19&20

2005-12-06T23:02:30Z

A Reason update

Chapters 19&20

Title: Harry Potter, I Love You

Author: Hafthand

Rating: PG-13 (I will be changing this rating to R or M whatever the new rating is. Just a warning)

A/N: First off, I want to thank Lorett first and foremost. She kindly betaed this chapter for me. I had a lot of trouble with the grief bits and she kindly stepped in and added her life experience to my humble words. A BIG THANK YOU to her. She is a doll, a star!

Also I must thank Mrs. Accio-Firebolt and Bloodrust for their kind e-mails and prodding to get this chapter written. Thank you ladies, without you this would have taken even longer.

Now I apologize for how long it took to get this chapter out. I do so hope it was worth the wait! Nothing major happens in this chapter, but the necessary continuation.

I suggest re-reading the last chapter or two since it has been so long!

RECAP: Ron dead, all grieving, Draco running from Hermione yet again, and Fred pulling Draco aside to speak privately!

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“Harry Potter, I love you!” came the proud pronouncement, his voice ringing out through the musty, smoke-filled pub.

Silence froze the pub. Not one person moved for a full five seconds after his announcement. Then suddenly, a great cheer shook the timbers of the pub as the two embraced each other as brothers.

“Alcohol truly is a gift from the gods,” Fred Weasley slurred to his companions as he watched Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter, former enemies, holding each other tightly as tears streamed down their faces across the pub.

“Wish Ron could have seen this,” slurred an equally tearful Ginny Weasley from her seat on Remus Lupin’s lap.

“I have no doubt he would be weeping with joy,” Remus choked out, burying his head and his tears in Ginny’s wondrous hair.

Fred turned his heavy head to stare at his weeping sister and pained friend. Ginny’s glass was clutched loosely in her tiny hand, her eyes riveted to the scene in the front of the pub. Remus sat, his head hidden, his hands wrapped tightly around the oblivious redhead. At the mention of his brother’s name, he had momentarily felt as though he should have been feeling some sort of emotion other than blissful drunkenness, but it was fleeting and he focused on what was in front of him.

“Hey Ginny? Why you sittin’ on Senor Werewolf’s lap?” Fred asked quizzically, his face screwed up in concentration.

She turned and regarded him for the briefest of moments. Had Fred not consumed enough alcohol to kill an elephant, he would have noticed the momentary clearing in his baby sister’s eyes. The fleeting soberness; the cold pain of reality. But Fred did not see this. Ginny turned her eyes to the man whose lap she sat in and smiled slightly before she opened her mouth. “Why Draco and Potter hugging?” she asked her older brother.

Fred paused and turned his head towards the two wizards. His eyes grew small as he searched his befuddled mind for the events that had led up to this moment. “Yeah, why are they huggin?” Fred asked aloud, as his mind stretched.

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Flashback

Empty. Hollow. That is how he felt.

That is how he would always feel from now on. He didn’t see how he could ever feel any differently ever again; it just wasn’t possible. The pain had burned so strong that his body was now numb. He was oblivious to anything. The air was palpable with grief, you could feel it with every breath, in and out…anguish, sorrow, emptiness, death. Nothing would be the same. Everything had changed.

Fred stood staring at the dripping wet figure of Draco Malfoy before him. He didn’t know why he wished to speak with Malfoy privately except for the fact that it took him away from the kitchen.

The kitchen. His little brother’s current resting place. Ron. Blood. Pain. Blood. Loss. Body. Hurt. Tears. Weeping.

“STOP!” Fred finally screamed out loud.

He saw Malfoy step back at his outburst, his eyes darting uncertainly towards the doorway before falling back to him. Malfoy’s eyes locked guardedly on Fred’s and he settled into a silent stance.

Fred was grateful for his silence. He couldn’t take words right now. There had been too many already. He couldn’t bear any more.

“The advantage of having a large family is that you are never alone; you are always loved. There is always someone there for you,” Fred found himself saying. He didn’t remember deciding to speak and his words surprised him. From the raised eyebrow on his companions face, Fred has surprised him as well. But he had started and he wasn’t about to stop now. Something in Malfoy’s eye beckoned him to continue.

“Disadvantage to having a large family, when someone dies, the pain is multiplied by ten. Too many people saying ‘sorry’; too many people crying. You’d think with such a large family the loss of one could be hidden in the masses,” Fred spit out, his voice distant and hard. A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls

He allowed his eyes to travel down Malfoy’s lean body, until they rested on his hand where the dagger sat. He couldn’t steal his cold gaze from it; it glinted and shimmered in the firelight, mocking him in its easy, lethal grace. He snorted; it was so very, very simple looking. Yes, simple in its elegance, and elegant in its simplicity. Such a pretty thing.

Malfoy noticed Fred’s gaze and slowly raised the dagger between them. “Where did you get it?” Fred asked, his voice steel.

Draco squinted his eyes slightly and tore them away from the silver light playing on the edge of the dagger and brought them up to meet Fred’s once more. “I was just about to ask you the same thing Weasley,” Draco said, his voice also distant and hard.

Fred stood very still for a moment. When it was clear he would not speak until Draco had answered his question, Draco’s eyes grew very dark and he said one word. “Hermione.”

Ah yes, the root of it all. Hermione Granger. Suddenly Fred laughed out loud. One short, loud burst of laughter that felt as though it was being torn from his very body. He shook from the strain of releasing it and bit down hard on his cheek feeling as though his laugh had burned a path of fire from his stomach upwards and out through his throat. He felt sick.

He glanced at Malfoy and noticed the curious stare. “I’m not crazy Malfoy. Not yet anyway,” Fred muttered. “I realized something just now. You,” he said pointing his bloody finger at Draco to make his point, “and me are not so different.” He let the words drift slowly between them awaiting Malfoy’s response. A moment later he was rewarded with a simple grunt of acceptance from the wet ferret. A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls.

Fred sighed loudly and ran his bloody hands through his tousled red hair. He suddenly felt old, so very old. He turned and walked across the comfortable room to his father’s small collection of alcoholic beverages. Finding the Fire Whiskey, he turned to Malfoy and held up the bottle in question. Draco nodded and walked slowly towards him.

Fred filled two glasses, tipped back his head and let the drink burn it’s way down the path his laughter had created. He picked up Malfoy’s glass and glanced at it before pouring that down his throat as well. Fred didn’t even wince at the taste; he’d long since gone numb. He filled the glasses again and this time turned and gave Malfoy his share.

They raised their glasses to each other in mock toast and downed their poison. Fred noticed Draco still held onto the dagger.

“What will you do with it?” Fred asked while refilling their glasses. Soon they would empty the bottle.

Draco tipped his head back to receive the second drink before handing the glass back to Fred for more. He raised his blood-covered hand and stared at the offending object. “It was only ever meant to kill one person,” he heard Malfoy whisper.

“Yeah well, it never tasted her blood. Apparently it was meant for blood…a bit more pure,” Fred spit out, his words coming out harsh and pain filled.

He had by now finished the bottle of Fire Whiskey and was refilling their glasses with some Scotch. He expected Draco to continue talking, but was happy he didn’t. He watched over the rim of his glass as Draco hid the dagger inside his tattered robes. A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls.

“I fear there may not be enough alcohol in this house to suit our needs,” Fred spoke softly, suddenly breaking the silence, his mouth fixed in a smile that would never again reach his dead eyes. He was pleased to see the same look mirrored on Draco’s face.

“I think you are right Mr. Weasley. Perhaps we should find our succor elsewhere?” Draco asked, his voice laced with all the respect and superiority he had been bred into. Fred smiled again and patted Malfoy on the back.

“You read my mind,” Fred said. The need to escape this prison was too great. He needed out. Draco simply accepted Fred’s words and he was thankful the wizard never suggested he stay with his grieving family. Oh yes, it did appear that Fred and he were more alike than he would have ever believed. Death had always lurked in Draco’s eyes, now it took up residence in Fred’s.

Fred knew most of Draco’s secrets after their little chat back at the Manor. Now Draco was living Fred’s. Fred’s eyes flicked to the finished bottle of Scotch. He wanted to get out of here NOW. He wanted to be anyplace but here. Here, where reality was simply too much to bear. He wanted to be somewhere where no one knew him. Somewhere, where a person could look at him and not guess that grief was battling to conquer his soul. Somewhere, where he could pretend for just a few brief moments that his life was normal again. That he was still normal, that he still had his whole family with him. Somewhere, where no one would be able to see that he was threatening to die from the weight of guilt and horror that was slowly chocking the life from him with each breath he took…His breath that he would gladly trade for his brother’s. Breath that SHOULD have been his brother’s…He groaned, Fred needed to get out of here…A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls.

A shuffling behind them made the two young wizards turn sharply towards the doorway. They had been so wrapped up in themselves and their conversation that they had failed to notice some changes that had occurred in the room. As Fred’s lifeless gaze traveled the room, he wondered just how long the others had been there.

Remus Lupin was sitting on the floor against the wall, staring at the two with a far away, detached look. Ginny lay on the couch, her dress messed and flowing lazily around her. Her eyes were attached to the ceiling, but Fred knew his sister and he knew she had been listening. It appeared that it had been Harry Potter himself that had caused the slight rustling by the doorway. Fred thought he had never seen Harry so defeated, so small. Fred was relieved upon scanning the room to see George was not there. He couldn’t see George yet, then it would be REAL and Fred wasn’t ready for reality just yet….

Fred wondered at their presence. How long had they been in the room? Had they been listening or had they been too wrapped up in their own grief, their own pain. He sensed rather than saw Malfoy stiffen beside him at the sight of the others, his hand gripping the empty glass before him.

“Well?” Remus asked, suddenly breaking the stalemate. “Which pub?”

Fred felt the tension in him start to dissipate. Whether it was from Remus’s unexpected but welcome words, or from the consumption of so much alcohol he didn’t know or care. Fred sensed Draco relax next to him as well.

“I was thinking The Hag’s Bluff,” came Ginny’s defeated voice from the couch.

“Nah, too many wizards. I say we go to a muggle pub. Less questions,” Harry said, before he walked across the room and offered Ginny a hand up. She gracefully accepted and proceeded to smooth her green dress as her eyes darted towards Remus. The werewolf raised himself from the floor and approached the other two.

“Harry has a point. The alcohol is weaker, but considering our company,” and Remus pointedly looked at Malfoy and Harry before continuing, “I think a muggle pub is our best bet. Any suggestions?”

Ginny shrugged and Harry just stood there. ‘God how fast people change in the matter of hours. How the mighty are falling,’ Fred thought to himself. He felt Draco move beside him as the Slytherin placed his glass back on the shelf before turning to look at the group once more.

“I know a place,” Malfoy said, his voice soft, remote.

“Good. Let’s go before any one notices,” Harry growled, his eyes darting uncertainly towards the kitchen door.

“Should we get Hermione or George?” Ginny asked, though her tone indicated she didn’t care either way.

“NO!” Draco and Fred said forcefully and coldly at the same time. Fred glanced at Draco and wondered what had transpired to cause such an answer.

“Fine then. Malfoy, lead the way,” Remus said.

End flashback

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Fred’s head reeled as it all came crashing back. All the pain, the grief, the tears. His head was spinning and he felt sick. How could he have forgotten? Why had he forced himself to remember? His drunken ignorance had been wonderful. He felt suddenly warm and suffocated. He could sense Ginny and Remus looking at him. He watched Draco and Harry laughing at each other. He saw his glass fall to the floor and shatter into a million tiny, broken pieces.

“No,” he whispered, standing suddenly from his seat. The world spun and blackness took over.

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He felt his eyes peel themselves open before slamming shut again at the unexpected brightness. A groan escaped his lips and he had the sudden urge to throw up.

Suddenly, the night before, or what he could remember of it, came crashing back to him and his body shot up. He ignored the spinning, the nausea, the pain. The numbness he had felt earlier began to once again take hold of him. He sat still for a minute before he noticed his surroundings.

He was not alone in this room. Next to him slept the form of Draco Malfoy, his arm thrown across Fred’s stomach. His clothes were rumpled and his hair astray. He was snoring lightly. Across the room, slumped uncomfortably on the floor in the corner, lay Remus Lupin, his head thrown awkwardly back, his tattered robes wrapped around the sleeping form of Ginny Weasley. Neither snored. Both looked content.

Fred felt his heart constrict slightly at the seemingly peaceful people around him. What had he been thinking? How could he have allowed his baby sister to see him like that? How could he have allowed himself to take her away from his grieving family? With Ron de… a lump formed in his throat but he pushed it down.

It was his job now to watch after Ginny, the previous occupant of the position was no longer available. He shook his head slightly. Fine job he was doing so far.

He sat back against the headboard and wondered how he had gotten here. He had visited this flat enough to know where he was. A slight creaking at the door made his head snap towards the sound.

He watched as it slowly opened and the intruder of his thoughts pushed their way into the room silently. He watched her scan the sleeping forms of Ginny and Remus with a softness to her face. He saw her eyes get lost within herself as she took in Draco’s sleeping body. Then her eyes met his. He saw the pain in her. The utter feeling of being lost obvious to any who knew what to look for.

She didn’t seem shocked to find him awake. She forced herself to smile slightly as she approached the bed. He noticed she was carrying a bowl of water and a rag was thrown across her shoulder. An air of authority and a sense of mothering seemed to crackle around her. She looked beautiful.

“Well, how are you feeling?” her soft voice asked. She set the water on the bedside table and sat next to him, her weight shifting the mattress slightly. They both froze as Draco started mumbling in his sleep, the movement having interrupted his dreams. After a moment he fell silent again and snuggled deeper into Fred’s side.

“Considering I woke up next to Draco Malfoy, not too bad,” Fred said lightly, his playfulness sounding cold and empty to his ears. He knew Hermione had heard it, but she ignored it.

“Yes well, that would be enough to frighten anyone,” she said softly, a genuine smile appearing fleetingly on her lips. She took the towel from her shoulder and dipped it gently into the water. She took it out and held it in her hands, her eyes downcast as though she were unsure of how to proceed. After a moment she looked back up at Fred and began to run the warm towel over his throbbing head.

Her touch was warm, gentle, loving, everything he didn’t wish to feel. He wasn’t allowed to feel these things any more. It was his punishment, his fate. She made him want to open up, to grab her and cry endlessly into her shoulder.

Hey eyes gently watched him, allowing him time to sort himself. “How did we end up at Remus’s?” Fred asked, desperate to break the silence.

At his question she had to stifle a laugh. “Next time you lot plan on going out on the piss while your family sits mourning the death of a loved one, let someone know first,” Hermione said, no accusations in her voice. “Your mother was in a frenzy. Ready to send the entire Ministry looking for all of you. Arthur and Charlie had to hold George down till we could calm everyone down enough to think.”

Fred ignored the tightness in his heart at the mention of his twin. “Yeah well, didn’t mean to worry anyone. Had to get out you know. The house was stifling us,” Fred said. His eyes closed as she brought the warm rag to his eyes.

He heard her sigh before she spoke. “Yes well, I don’t blame you. Neither does your father, or Bill for that matter. As for the others, well, being angry at you at least helps them focus on something other then the grief.”

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Fred said quietly.

“Ah yes, sorry. How did you lot end up here? Well, Bill and I took it upon ourselves to locate you. Had to calm Molly’s nerves. She thought you all had gone after Voldermort yourselves. One look at the empty bottle in the living room and well, wasn’t to difficult to figure out what you had in mind. Bill figured you wouldn’t want to go to a wizard pub considering you were with Malfoy and Harry,” Hermione told him as she took the towel from his eyes. She brought her fingers to his cheek and caressed it momentarily before dropping it to her lap.

Fred opened his eyes slowly and looked around the room once more. “Speaking of Harry…” he let the question go unfinished.

At his words Hermione glanced quickly at Draco and smiled. “Harry is out cold on the couch. When Bill and I finally located you all at the pub you had just blacked out. Long story short, we thought it best to bring everyone here instead of your house. It was also necessary to uh, hmm- separate Harry and Draco. It seems they have overcome their differences,” Hermione said, trying to hold back her amusement.

Memories of Draco and Harry embracing came into Fred’s head and he smirked at the thought. “Wonder if they will still love each other when Harry finds out Draco slept with me instead,” Fred said.

Hermione let out a loud string of laughs, unable to hold it in any longer. Fred watched her with his dead eyes and noticed the vibrancy that surrounded her. He knew she needed this release. It would help her.

“Oh Fred,” Hermione said, her laughter dwindling. She looked into his eyes and her laughter died. “Oh Fred,” she repeated; only this time her tone was somber. “Did it help? Did running away and drinking it all away help?” she asked, sincerely wanting to know.

Fred didn’t answer. He didn’t know. He didn’t want to think about it. He was saved further questions by the groan that escaped Remus’s mouth across the room. They both turned to watch as the werewolf slowly woke. He stretched his neck and looked down at the bundle in his arms. He gently pushed Ginny’s hair away from her face and a smile appeared on the sad man’s face. Ginny’s eyes slowly fluttered open and she smiled up at his scarred face. They hadn’t noticed their audience. Hermione and Fred felt as though they were intruding.

They were all saved from further embarrassment as Draco began to wake up, his groans of discomfort piercing the silence and causing everyone’s eyes to fly to his body. “Oh Merlin,” they heard him mutter as he tightened his grip around Fred’s torso. He mumbled something into Fred’s chest that he was sure was ‘Granger.’

Suddenly laughter from three throats broke through the room and Draco’s eyes flew open. Fred watched as the Slytherin’s eyes traveled the length of the room finally resting on Hermione’s. “Hermione,” he whispered. Suddenly Fred felt Draco’s body stiffen. “Hermione!” Draco shouted as he realized that is was Fred he was snuggling with instead of the Gryffindor Princess.

They all watched as he flew out of the bed, his eyes looking everywhere other then at Fred. “What...huh…I mean,” Malfoy muttered as he tried to recall the previous night’s events.

“Don’t worry Draco,” Fred purred, “I was gentle with you.” The alarm that suddenly registered in the man’s eyes sent Ginny and Hermione into fits of giggles.

Draco glared at them momentarily before relief washed through his form. “Merlin Fred, that was cruel.”

“Yeah well, why pass up a perfect opportunity to torture you,” Fred said. He threw his legs over the bed and walked over to Ginny and Remus. He let his dead eyes meet the werewolf’s for a second before he turned his gaze to his sister. He didn’t say anything, he simply held out his hand to Ginny. He watched her hesitate before one side of the inner battle within her won out. She reached out and allowed her older brother to help her up.

“That him then?” came a voice from the doorway. They all turned to see Harry standing there wrapped in a pink, flowery blanket. His eyes were locked onto Ginny’s. Fred felt her grip tighten momentarily in his.

“Harry…” Ginny began, her eyes traveling between Remus and Harry, but let his name die on her lips.

Harry held his hand up. “It’s fine Gin. After all, I have me my own man who loves me,” he said as he winked at Draco before turning and leaving the room.

Fred watched as Malfoy went pale. Hermione stood and cleared her throat. “Look, get yourselves cleaned up. Bill went back to the Burrow last night to tell Molly and Arthur you were all okay. I made some food if you think your stomachs can handle it,” she said, her gaze finally landing guardedly on Draco’s. Unspoken words falling between them.

“Yeah, I could eat,” Fred said before he turned and left the room. He made his way through the hallway and found Harry sitting at the kitchen table, his eyes staring off into the distance, a single tear rolling down his face. Fred sat in the chair next to Harry as Ginny and Remus entered the kitchen. The table was piled with food but Fred thought it all looked like ash.

He heard the muffled voices of Hermione and Draco in the other room. He watched unfeeling as the others attempted to chew their food. He heard the rain pouring down. He felt the sudden urge to get revenge. Everything was different now. One quick action had taken away everything they had known. He wanted to kill them all, all those wizards who felt they could take away his world. Fred sat at the table contemplating how he would get his revenge as the others ate their lunch.

A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls.

Nothing had changed.

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A/N: Okay folks. That was the necessary Utility Chapter that needed to be written concerning everyone’s grief. I hope it wasn’t too boring for your taste. As for the next chapter, well it should be up in a few days, already have half written so no more waiting a month! Next Chapter: Hermione/Draco interraction!

Love, Ally

“Get up and dance - Get up and smile
Get up and drink to the days
that are gone in the shortest while

Oh get up and dance - Get up and smile
Get up and drink to the ones
who are gone in the shortest while

I sing my sorrow

Yeah I sing my sorrow”

-One For The Road by Ocean Colour Scene (one of the best songs written about grief, in my opinion.)

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Chapter 20: Fix You
Summary: Feeling even more guilty then usual, Draco watches as the dead get buried.

A/N: After a way too long hiatus I present the next chapter. Hope it lives up to your standards. A million thank you’s to LORETT for betaing!

SUGGESTION: you may wish to go back and at least read the last chapter or so seeing as it has been SOOOOOOO long!

Last time on ‘A Reason’:

Harry held his hand up. “It’s fine Gin. After all, I have me my own man who loves me,” he said as he winked at Draco before turning and leaving the room.

Fred watched as Malfoy went pale. Hermione stood and cleared her throat. “Look, get yourselves cleaned up. Bill went back to the Burrow last night to tell Molly and Arthur you were all okay. I made some food if you think your stomachs can handle it,” she said, her gaze finally landing guardedly on Draco’s. Unspoken words falling between them.

“Yeah, I could eat,” Fred said before he turned and left the room. He made his way through the hallway and found Harry sitting at the kitchen table, his eyes staring off into the distance, a single tear rolling down his face. Fred sat in the chair next to Harry as Ginny and Remus entered the kitchen. The table was piled with food but Fred thought it all looked like ash.

He heard the muffled voices of Hermione and Draco in the other room. He watched unfeeling as the others attempted to chew their food. He heard the rain pouring down. He felt the sudden urge to get revenge. Everything was different now. One quick action had taken away everything they had known. He wanted to kill them all, all those wizards who felt they could take away his world. Fred sat at the table contemplating how he would get his revenge as the others ate their lunch.

A fire crackled somewhere in the background. Thunder was rolling in the distance. Weeping seeped through the thin walls.

Nothing had changed.

And now…………..

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It was raining. It seemed to always be raining these days. Draco attempted to remember when it hadn’t been raining. It didn’t matter. It was raining today, and today was something he sincerely wished he could just miss. Today was something he was not prepared to handle.
He had borrowed one of Remus’ tatty black dress robes and though it had started off too large for his frame, the rain soon plastered it to his pale skin in a sickening combination of velvet and wetness. Draco could barely remember the feel of silk and satin, the finest tweeds. No, they were distant memories now.

But it didn’t matter. None of that did.

He continued staring at the muddy ground in front of him hoping that the wind would go on blowing, drowning the sounds of sobs and words of farewell. This was not where he was meant to be. He did not belong.

But none of that mattered. He was here, now, and he wouldn’t leave until she did.

A slight movement to his left made him turn. Harry’s glasses were covered in large droplets of rain, shielding his eyes from the funeral before him. He hadn’t said a word all day. Hadn’t even looked at anyone all day. His pain was written on his face for the world to see. Like Draco, Harry had chosen to stand beyond the others, slightly removed from the mourning group. Draco looked up and thought that maybe ‘mob’ would be more the appropriate term.

An amazing amount of people had turned up to watch Ronald Weasley be buried. More than any of them had imagined. Draco felt a slight twinge as he thought of his own death. Would anyone even come? Would anyone even bury him? His gaze found its way to Hermione and he watched her, standing there next to George while holding Fred’s hand. You could tell the difference between the twins now. No one would ever mistake the two again. As he watched her, he thought that yes, someone would see him buried. Someone at least would care if he died.

As the rain continued to beat down on the beautifully carved casket, Draco’s gaze fell upon Bill Weasley, his savior from alcohol and affairs with Harry Potter. Draco thought back to yesterday when he had actually met the forceful wizard.

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(flashback)
The door closed as the others dragged themselves to the kitchen. Draco felt the pounding behind his eyes and thought that maybe this time he had indeed drank just a little too much. A small sigh from across the room brought his eyes shooting up to lock onto Hermione’s. He stood frozen as surely as if she were Medusa. ‘Maybe she is,’ he thought bitterly. She certainly turned his insides to stone every time her eyes met his and felt his flesh sear at her glance.

He swallowed audibly and watched as she smiled a small smile that did not reach her eyes.

“Certainly in love with a lot of people these days, aren’t we, Draco. One might think you had a problem with committing. If you’d be happier with Harry, you can have him. But I’m taking the dog and the Manor,” she told him in her most matter-of-fact tone.

For his part Draco stood with his mouth hanging open as a million memories flashed through his head.

(flashback within a flashback!)

He tore his mouth away from hers, his forehead resting against hers as he panted, his lungs screaming for oxygen. His mind still intoxicated with the taste of her and the feel of her hard-soft body beneath his. He leaned forward and placed a soft, almost chaste kiss against her hot mouth. “Merlin, I love you Hermione,” he whispered against her lips. She gasped.

Suddenly Draco’s eyes shot open. He saw her own eyes staring back at him in surprise and wonder. His words came crashing back into his now sober brain and his entire body stiffened.

“What?” Hermione whispered, her hands frozen in his hair.

(end flashback within a flashback!)

The memory smashed into his already aching skull and Draco Malfoy thought his luck had finally run out. “You remember that huh?” he asked quietly, carefully.

Hermione let out a short laugh. ˜It’s not everyday a man tells me he loves me,” she said softly, her eyes sparkling from grief or amusement, he couldn’t tell.

“Look, Hermione, what I said, it’s, I was, I am,” Draco tried to put his thoughts, his fears into words but found his brain was unable to make a connection with his mouth. Before he could make a fool of himself even further, she interrupted.

“Don’t,” she said, her eyes pinning him. “This has been a very trying couple of weeks, Draco and I am done with the secrets, lies, plots, and stolen moments. I am a smart witch. I know when a man is looking at me with more than lust in his eyes. And don’t you dare try and say you didn’t mean what you said. Neither of us is stupid. Don’t act like we are.”

“But I am, Hermione. Don’t you see that?” he asked, his voice pleading. “I’m stupid to think I could fit into this life you live. Stupid to think I could waltz back through the open door like nothing had ever happened. Stupid to think people would accept it. Even stupider to think no one would get hurt.” Draco took a deep breath, his words floating around the room making his head spin. “It doesn’t matter now anyway, Hermione. Don’t you see that? Whatever I feel, whatever I felt, I am too far gone. I’m flawed, broken, and because of this I have brought death to your lives and will probably bring my own before this is over. I have hurt you too much already, I think. To make you think I feel something; to hope you might return that, would just make things worse when the end comes.”

Hermione felt her breath rise up and down in her chest allowing his words to process. She remembered the impassioned and torn boy who had cornered her in the library, remembered the feel of his warm breath on her face. The pain in his eyes. The fear. She thought maybe he had always been broken, more so than the rest of them. He had never had anyone to pick up the pieces. Had never wanted anyone to, until he had tried to kill a girl so many years ago.

She reached out her hand as though to push back his pain from across the room. His eyes were furnaces of emotion, his body radiating the tension she knew he must be feeling. “Draco, please don’t push me away. Not anymore.” She took a deep breath and prepared her next words through a haze, not allowing her mind to linger on them. “Ron is dead, so many are already dead. We grew up in the middle of a war. No one should suffer that alone. Stop forcing yourself to. Let me help with the pain. Let me try,” Hermione pleaded, taking a step closer to him.

“You can’t fix this, Hermione!” Draco shouted his voice full of desperation and loneliness. “You can’t fix me! I’m broken. Hell we all are,” he spat, sitting down onto the edge of the bed, his hand running tiredly through his messy hair. “Sometimes people can’t go back to how they were. Sometimes it’s too late.”

Silence settled over the room. He couldn’t look up at her. She made him reveal too much, far too much. Hermione just stood staring at a point past him, her thoughts running too quickly through her mind to grab one. The silence stretched, twisted, threatened to break over them.

“Why did you come back, Draco?” Hermione finally whispered.

“You’ve asked me this already, Hermione,” Draco replied, his eyes still focused on the wonders of the Oriental rug at his feet.

“Yes, yes I have, but I want to hear your answer again,” she said firmly. Her body seemed to move forward of its own accord. She found herself standing before a broken creature. The woman in her wanted to gather him in her arms and never let go, not this time. She wanted to run her fingers through his silky hair kiss him and tell him they would all be fine. But she hadn’t allowed herself to be just a woman in a very long time. She couldn’t allow herself to be now.

Draco Malfoy was right. They were all broken, some more than others, but still broken. The war had made them all tired. She feared that at the end of it all, assuming she made it, she would be nothing more than an empty shell. Draco Malfoy very much feared he already was.

He took a deep breath to steady the dizziness the hangover and her presence were causing him.

“Hermione,” but Draco never had a chance to finish what he was about to say as a sharp knock was heard from the door. His eyes flashed momentarily and he leaned forward as though reluctant to give up their solitude. But Hermione knew the real world was waiting to take over again. Would she never get more than five minutes with him?

“Come in,” she said to the door.

Bill stood in the doorway his eyes taking them in with one quick, precise sweep. “Just got back from the Burrow. Thought you should know the funeral is tomorrow,” he said crisply, delivering his news in a swift, forceful way that made both Hermione and Draco feel as though a mighty wind had just blown through the room and left just as fast.

“Okay, Bill,” Hermione said, trying to keep a part of herself from really processing what he had said. “Okay. Did you tell the others”

“Yeah. Fred and Harry went back to help out and make amends for disappearing last night,” Bill answered, leaning his long, hard body against the door frame. Hermione sensed his weariness.

“Was she terribly upset? Your uh, mother that is?” Draco asked quietly, his question catching the other two off guard.

Bill took him in with that cold penetrating gaze before replying. “Yeah, had a fit she did,” he said, but then a slow smile spread across his face. “Did her good though, snapped her out of her feeling sorry. Made her focus on what needed to be done. Though I doubt Fred and Harry will escape her wrath. Think Ginny and Remus will be in for a bit too when they make their presence known later on,” Bill said and turned his head towards the kitchen. A look of curious protectiveness was now present in his eyes as though he was trying to process what to do about his little sister’s new relationship.

“You should leave it be, Bill. She’ll need him now more than ever,” Hermione warned.

Bill nodded once and then brought his gaze back to the other occupants of the room. I suppose you’re right, Hermione. You usually are. So, Draco Malfoy, Bill Weasley.” Bill introduced himself and held out his hand as he walked to stand in front of the rather haggard looking wizard.

Draco stared dumbly at the hand in front of his face. Surprised did not even begin to describe how he felt. “Never actually been properly introduced,” Bill explained, waving his hand in front of Draco’s stunned face.

Remembering his upbringing - and the fact that this man was offering him a gesture of goodwill, when only yesterday he had helped carry his Brother’s dead body home - Draco stood up and grabbed Bill’s hand in a strong grip. “Nice to meet you, Bill,” Draco said firmly.

“Never thought I would say this, but nice to meet you too,” Bill almost laughed while shaking Draco’s hand vigorously. Bill let go and suddenly his face became serious. “Now come on you two, a lot needs to be done today.” And with that he turned and left the room. Draco swore he could feel the blast of wind again. He decided Bill was a force. Simply that. The man swept into a room and swept back out. While in the room each look, each word had a power behind it. He had accepted Draco with hardly any explanation and Draco respected that. He decided he liked Bill Weasley.

“What are you smiling at?” Hermione asked from just below him. Draco looked down into her eyes.

“He is an interesting man,” Draco replied quietly.

Hermione allowed herself a soft smile and a nod. ˜Yes, yes he is.” She paused, “We aren’t done talking about this, Draco. Don’t think you get to escape this conversation. But right now we have to go plan my best friend’s funeral. You might think you don’t need me, but I need you right now. Do you understand? I can’t break down. I have to be strong for them, and I need you to help me with that,” she said in a firm voice. Draco felt his mouth open, but before he could get a word in, he felt her soft hand slide into his. She turned and left the room leading him to some unknown.

(End flashback)

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She hadn’t let go of his hand for the rest of that day. It had been a new experience for Draco, having to plan a funeral. Watching these people and realizing just how much Ronald Weasley had been loved. He was thankful that Hermione had continued to hold onto him, though he realized now that by the end of the day it had been him holding onto her.
Sudden movement brought Draco’s gaze back up to the funeral. People were starting to move away. It must be over. So lost in his thoughts had he been that he hadn’t noticed the proceedings. He watched as Hermione hugged both Molly and Arthur in turn before turning and burying herself in Fred’s arms. He watched as Harry stood slightly removed, just as he himself was, his eyes still focusing on nothing. Remus slowly made his way over to stand beside Draco, Ginny Weasley attached to his arm, looking at Harry in concern.

“He hasn’t said a word,” Ginny stated.

“No, not since yesterday morning at your flat Remus,” Draco answered, turning his gaze back to Harry.

“Maybe I should...” Ginny began to say, taking a short step toward Harry.

“Just let him be, for now,” Draco stopped her with his words, his eyes locking onto the youngest Weasley. She returned his stare and must have seen understanding there for she nodded softly and turned back to Remus, wiping some rain from her black robes. Draco understood what was going through Harry’s mind. He had been there himself once before. The Boy-who-lived would come back to them all when and if he wanted to.

Bill had joined their little gathering bringing with him Hermione. She too stood staring at Harry as though wondering if she should approach him but then thought better of it and turned back towards them.

“They’re all heading back to the house, to get out of the rain, eat some food. Your mum is worried she won’t have enough for everyone who shows up,” Hermione said to Ginny.

“I’m sure it will be sufficient. Not very hungry myself,” Ginny replied, her hand reaching out to clasp Hermione’s. Draco cringed at the show of affection; the show of mourning...It was all his fault.

He felt a presence behind him and they all turned to watch Fred walk up. His eyes locked onto Harry behind them and then moved to his sister’s. Draco watched as Ginny winced slightly at the lack of emotion in her brother’s eyes. He felt his heart clench. He turned his head slightly only to confront the gaze of Hermione. So many questions lived there, in her eyes.

He couldn’t hold it in any longer. All the guilt that had been eating at him as he had sat listening to the Weasley’s plan a funeral for one of their own, now pushed at his insides. The dead look in Fred’s eyes made him feel darker and dirtier then he had ever felt before in his life.

“It’s my fault Ron is dead. You all know it. If I hadn’t come Back...” Draco’s voice trailed off.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Fred said, his voice dead and his eyes deader. “If you hadn’t come back Ron would probably still be alive. Hermione would probably be dead though,” he said pointing a finger at the stunned witch. Draco’s head shot up. ˜You would never have gone to her flat and that wizard would have killed her. Then what? Huh?” Fred allowed his gaze to take them all in. “Who would have died then looking for revenge? Harry? Ron? Me?”

Fred took a step toward Draco. “Listen to me and listen to me well, Draco Malfoy. It doesn’t matter if you came back or not. People were going to die. People probably still will,” Fred almost whispered. Ginny shook her head as though to deny it, but her eyes held the truth. Remus reached out a hand to comfort her but drew it back unable to find comfort himself. Bill just stared at his brother, a hundred deaths playing before his haunted eyes.

“He’s right,” Harry spoke up startling the others. His voice was defeated, tired sounding. They hadn’t seen him approach. Harry took his glasses off and tried to clear the rain from them for the first time since they had arrived at the graveyard. His eyes still would not meet anyone else’s. “We can’t change it, any of it. It’s too late to fix the past.”

“I’m so sorry,’ Draco whispered, his eyes pools of self-pity and regret. A deep sense of failure and uncertainty began to envelop Draco. His eyes began to unfocus as his mind reeled at the reality of all that had occurred these past six years that had been directly related to him.

Suddenly Hermione walked up to Draco and a loud slap could be heard as her hand connected with his face. The rain making it sting that much more. Draco barely moved or blinked. He expected it. He felt he deserved it. His eyes finally came back into focus on her feet, the black of her shoes covered in brown mud.

“You look at me,” she said, “Look at me!” It was the pain in Hermione’s voice that made Draco look up at her. Her eyes were red and her hair was plastered in wet curls to her face. Her bottom lip quivered and her hands were balled into fists. She was beautiful.

“I have had it with your pity party. So what, you’re broken! We all bloody are. You are not weak! Don’t you dare start losing it now. Not after everything. I might not be able to fix you, Draco Malfoy,” Hermione spat out, “but damnit we are going to fix this.” She stood - her body quivering or shivering from the rain, it was unclear - her finger pointing down to Ron’s grave. “Do you hear me?” her words cold and carrying to the others as her eyes traveled to each of them. “We are going to fix this, even if we lose ourselves in the process. They will pay for what they have taken. We will make them pay.”

“They will wish they had never touched Ron,” Fred agreed quietly, though his words held such pain and anger.

“We’ll kill them all,” Harry laughed, his words holding a hint of madness in them. His eyes locked with Draco and Draco stepped back from the truth he found there. For the first time Draco Malfoy truly understood Harry Potter.

The man had nothing left to lose.

Harry had just buried his best friend. His mortal enemy had reappeared to take away the woman he loved. The only other woman in Harry’s life had found companionship in the arms of the only link to his dead parents.

Draco Malfoy realized that Harry Potter was utterly and completely alone.

And for the first time, Draco was scared of him.

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A/N: Well? I know I know. Dark and all. This was very hard to write after so long so please allow me to get back into stride! Okay I have a million thank you’s but due to the rumour going around about not be allowed to do that anymore I will just generally say how much I love all of you and thank you sooo much for sticking with me through this!
Also. The chapter format may be a tad confusing. But the first flashback, Draco-Hermione-Bill, takes off just after the last chapter when Harry, Fred, Ginny, and Remus leave the room after their drunken night out.

The flashback within the flashback is from the chapter: boulevard of Broken Dreams, when Draco runs through the mansion for a kiss and an I love you before he, Fred, and Remus take off for the fortress of evil.

Not much takes place in this chapter but it was necessary to have to funeral before I can move forward. A lot had to be said.

NEXT UP: Chapter 21: Silent Revelations (already finished! woohoo)

A little interlude and then...No more playing around. The battle is on and someone, if not everyone is going to pay. Let the action begin and the running away stop. Plus, does Hermione finally corner Draco and get a bit more out of him than excuses? (hmm just smile)

Love, Ally

‘Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try To fix you’
-Coldplay

Draco/Hermione fic: A Reason chapters 17&18

2005-12-06T22:55:22Z

A Reason update

Chapters 17&18

Chapter 17: Do You Hear My Heart Beating?
Author: Hafthand (Ally)
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Fred goes to war.

A/N: This was a very difficult chapter to write, as you will all see, but it is very dear to me. I hope you like it, in as much as anyone can like this chapter.

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His lean frame was pressed tightly against the cold, stone wall behind him. He tilted his head slightly to the side, trying to get a view of the dank hallway behind him. Nothing. “Fuck,” he swore under his breath. He heard a crash in the distance and said, “Double fuck.”
Fred Weasley was the joke king. He and his brother were the laughs. But he was also one of Dumbledore’s best agents. No one knew and that was the point. So here he was, facing a fate he knew had been coming. He knew he was dead already. At the end of this run he would be struck down; he had seen it. But he had a mission to do, and before he gave into the darkness, he would damn well complete it. He may have skived off of many things in his life, but there was still honour in him, and he would die honourably. He would die by their hands, yes, but on his terms.

He knew when he had walked in on Malfoy and Remus earlier that evening that they would be leading him to his doom, and he had accepted with a smile and a laugh. He took a deep breath and turned his body around before sprinting down the hallway and throwing himself into the wooden door before him. As he burst through, he came to a halt and for a moment the sight before him took him aback. A full-blown battle was taking place. At some point the others had shown up. “Fuck,” Fred whispered. How did it come to this?

Flashback
Fred walked casually down the massive hall munching on the lemon drops Dumbledore had cheerily given him and trying to picture a five-year old Draco Malfoy growing up in such a place. For all its grandeur and richness, Fred realized he would never trade his childhood in the Burrow if it meant living here. It was big all right, too big. You felt like a stranger within the Manor’s cold, never-ending halls.

It was even emptier now than it had been a few hours earlier. After the meeting with Dumbledore, both Malfoy and Harry had fled. Where to, Fred hadn’t the foggiest. Hermione had disappeared to her room and Snape and Lupin had walked in opposite directions.

The barren stone hallways made him yearn for escape also. He was very tempted to go back to the Burrow. His heart ached to see George. It had been too long. Ginny had been away so much lately with her job that Fred felt as though his baby sister was a stranger. Bill and Charlie had always been away as he was growing up, whether at school or work, yet he missed their strong and calming presence. Percy, well Percy was Percy, but he was still blood. As for Ron, Fred wished he hadn’t stayed away after leaving to deliver his message to Dumbledore two days ago. Next too George, Fred was closest to Ron and realized having his younger brother here to pick on would have been a great distraction, but he could see why Ron would stay away. A person could only handle so much of Malfoy, Harry, Remus, and Snape at the same time.

Fred shook his head as he rounded yet another corner and froze as he heard hushed voices from within the room to his left.

“Draco, it’s suicide, you know this,” Lupin’s calm, soothing voice said from beyond the doorway.

“Yeah well at the moment I am feelin’ suicidal,” Malfoy’s voice countered. He sounded weary and resigned; resigned to a fate he was trying to avoid. Fred could relate. For too long he had been dreading the arrival of Mister Malfoy. Malfoy’s rebirth would mean Fred’s death. He would have to be crazy to be looking forward to that.

“You may want to court death this night Draco, but what makes you think I wish to?” Lupin asked, and from the noise in the room it seemed as though he was moving around, possibly pacing.

“Men like you and me always court Death, Remus. To men like us she is something we will always dance around before giving in,” Draco said solemnly. For a moment all was silent and Fred leaned forward a bit. He heard Malfoy sigh before continuing. “What do we have to lose?” Malfoy asked.

“Too much,” Lupin said softly. A silence heavier than before descended and Fred could imagine both men were making a list in their minds of what was important in their lives. Fred imagined both lists would be very short.

“We have more to lose if we sit and do nothing. We don’t have a choice Remus. We can sit and wait for them to find us, killing us all in our beds or we can bring the fight to them. Since when do we stand back and let others rule our lives?” Malfoy said, his voice rising slightly in volume yet remaining even.

“Dumbledore would not approve,” Lupin said.

“Dumbledore! Ha, the old man has been letting Potter fight battles on his own since the guy was eleven. I think Dumbledore sanity and rationale is highly questionable,” Draco said, his voicing returning to its cold, normal tone.

“Don’t speak so of Dumbledore, Draco. He is far saner than any of us give him credit for. What he does is with the world’s best interest in mind, never forget that,” Lupin said. A short pause followed before Lupin continued. “But I do agree with you on one thing Draco. I will not sit back knowing what we know. If we don’t do something now, too many others will get involved and too many others will die. There is precious little left in this world that I treasure,” Lupin said and breathed out heavily. “But I refuse to sit back and let it be taken from me. I did that once, and I will not do it again,” he said, his voice powerful with memory and vengeance.

Fred did not have to be Hermione Granger to work out what Lupin was referring too. Fred had often seen a look in the werewolf’s eyes when he watched Harry. Fred knew that Lupin felt responsible, in some part, for James and Lily’s deaths. They had thought he had been the spy and had trusted Pettigrew instead. Fred shook his head in pity. What that must be like, to live on after all others you have loved have died? What must it be like to have a reminder of the days gone by reflected back to you in the form of your best friend’s son? What must it be like to be alone in a world that hated what you were?

Fred had always held the highest respect for Lupin. But as he sat listening to Malfoy and his former Professor talk, Fred Weasley realized he wouldn’t mind adding Remus to his short list of important people.

Fred was tempted to walk on, or perhaps make his presence known to them, but decided he wished to here more of what they were planning. He wasn’t stupid, he knew they were talking about taking on Death Eater’s, if not Voldermort himself, but he had to be sure. Fred didn’t like not knowing.

“I won’t sit back and let Voldermort destroy her Remus. I can’t,” Draco’s voice suddenly pierced the silence that had fallen. For a moment, Fred was taken aback by the heavy emotion evident in Malfoy’s voice.

“He wants you dead also Draco. Are you so quick to give up your life?” Lupin asked.

“I did it once before,” Draco replied coldly.

“As yes, silly of me to forget,” Lupin said softly.

“Wish I could,” Draco whispered so low that Fred strained to hear.

“Isn’t it enough that she did?” Lupin asked carefully. Fred was becoming slightly confused. The she they were talking about had to be Hermione, but as for the rest, the meaning was lost to him.

“Well then. If we are decided I don’t think we should wait. Dumbledore practically handed me their location on a platter. I think he realized I would take the bait,” Draco said in a rush. Fred began to sense a steel determination from the next room tinged only slightly with fear.

“I think we are not enough for this mission Draco,” Lupin said slowly.

“Bringing Potter would ruin it, and I will not have Snape revealing himself just to help us,” Draco stated firmly.

“I had someone else in mind. Someone a bit subtler. Perhaps we should consider asking Fred to join our crusade,” Lupin said. Fred’s breathing stopped at the sound of his name. He knew. Right then and there he knew it had finally come, his doom. Everything that had been happening up to now was leading to only one possible end. Fred knew he could not say no. Even though he new he would not make it out of the battle they were proposing, he would not be labeled a coward. He would not sit back at let someone else fight for the lives of those he loved.

“Fred Weasley and subtle in the same sentence? Are you mad Remus?” Draco asked.

“Perhaps a bit, but a lot has changed since you’ve been gone Draco. There is more to Fred then I think anyone really knows,” Lupin answered. Had the conversation been a different one, in a different place, Fred would have glowed with pride. Unfortunately, times were as they were.

“Do you think he would be willing to put his life on the line? He has a lot more to lose than we do,” Draco said.

Fred decided it was past time for him to make an appearance. He did so love an entrance. He pushed the door aside and strolled casually into the room saying, “Well the only way to know for sure would be to ask him, don’t you think?”

The looks on their faces were enough to make Fred smile widely. “So I hear you need a man of my many talents,” he said rubbing his hands together. Lupin stood frozen in his spot by the window. His arms hung limply next to his tattered robes. Malfoy was very still in his place against the wall on the opposite room, his arms crossed in front of him. Both men looked as if they had been caught stealing their mother’s freshly baked pie.

“How long were you standing out there,” Malfoy asked quickly.

“Long enough to hear what needed hearing,” Fred said, his voice even and strong, all sign of laughter gone. His eyes leveled with Malfoy’s and for the first time the two really looked at each other. The silver haired demon nodded his head slightly and turned back to Lupin.

Lupin took a step forward and narrowed his eyes slightly. “Fred, I wouldn’t normally ask you to do this, but we need help if we have any chance of succeeding. Even so, we could all lose our lives if this goes wrong,” Lupin said, his eyes shining with intensity.

Fred leaned casually against the wall next to him. “I’d be a fool to let the two of you waltz off to be heroes, or more likely martyrs, and not get a piece of the action. Whatever it is you two are planning, and I have some thoughts on what that might be, you can be sure I will be there,” Fred said, his voice containing no mirth, his eyes blazing with his sincerity. “Besides, we’re all meant to die sometime right? Why not go down in a blaze of glory huh?” Fred said somewhat lightly.

“Just as long as you know the risks,” Malfoy said.

“Fuck the risks Malfoy. Why should the two of you be the only ones who get to fight for the ones you love?” Fred asked, his eyes boring holes into Malfoy’s. “Voldermort is after you Ferret, but for some reason he has decided to add our lovely Miss Granger to the mix. You’d rather die then see her get hurt again. You risked your life before and it held them off for a little while. Now they want blood. You’re not the only one who loves her Malfoy. I’d rather die then see her cry again,” Fred said, finally drawing a deep breath, his eyes daring Malfoy to challenge him.

Lupin stood to the side, quietly watching the two. After a moment of deadly silence Malfoy pushed away from the wall and walked towards Fred. Slowly he stuck out his hand. Fred looked once more into Draco’s Malfoy’s icy eyes before grasping his hand firmly.

“Well then, shall we enlighten Mister Weasley here on our situation?” Lupin spoke up as he walked forward towards them.

“Yes I think that would be for the best. But first, I want to know everything Malfoy, the whole bloody truth. I will march to my death next to you knowing why. I want to hear it from your mouth, everything about the last five years. After that, we’ll go kill the bastard who has made our life a living hell. They may even write a book about us,” Fred said, a smile that did not reach his eyes appearing on his face.

And just like that, Malfoy started talking, with occasional input from Lupin. Fred’s face fell as all was revealed to him. He had had a general idea of what had transpired of course, but parts of the story still shocked him. It also had the effect of cementing him to their cause. Fred would gladly die fighting beside a Malfoy and a werewolf, for he knew no other option lay before him. But first, they needed to find Snape and wring some information out of his bony body.

End Flashback
And so they had waltzed into the fortress of evil knowing they might possibly never walk back out. They had separated and each gone a prearranged way. The plan had been to meet up in the central chamber room where, Dumbledore had informed Malfoy, Voldermort would be waiting. But as Fred burst through into the room it was apparent that something must have gone wrong. There were too many people who shouldn’t be here, fighting for their lives.

A cold fear gripped his insides. He had not seen this. There were too many risks now, even more than there had been earlier. A great flash of yellow light lit up the room. Everything slowed down. The people, the spells, the action, time itself. Fred watched as the people he loved battled around him. He heard Hermione call out for Malfoy, and heard Malfoy scream a warning to Hermione. He watched Harry stumble under the force of an unknown spell and watched as Snape ran to stand over The-Boy-Who-Lived and block his body from any more damage. He saw Remus take down Death Eater after Death Eater, never pausing in his path of destruction.

An odd ache began to grow within Fred’s chest as he watched a figure materialize in the doorway across from him. Fred stood frozen for a moment as he watched the person stumble into the room and fall, blood pooling from the silver dagger, a silver dagger Fred knew too well, protruding from their chest onto the floor. Their bound hands twisted oddly behind them.

Fred let out a bellow that echoed straight down to the caverns of Hell itself. Suddenly, everything sped up. Fred ran towards the fallen figure, not caring if he pushed aside friend or foe. His one thought was to reach the body. His one goal was to take that filthy dagger and throw it far, far away.

As he reached the body he fell to his knees and turned the head to look at him. Cold, dead eyes stared up into his. Fred felt the need to vomit. Suddenly silence covered the room and Fred could hear the sound of people running away. Whether it was the good guys or the bad guys fleeing, he didn’t care. Hermione’s scream that pierced the silence a moment later informed him that his friends remained but had finally witnessed what lay in front of him.

Fred gathered the body up in his arms, but remained staring at the lifeless eyes. He couldn’t look away. He couldn’t stop the tears pouring down his face. He couldn’t stop the bellows that shook his body and the tiles on the floor. He couldn’t stop the blood flowing out of his brother’s body. He couldn’t remember if he’d said good-bye.

He reached out and tore the offending dagger from the body and threw it across the room. How and why it came to be here were questions he would think about later; now was not the time.

As Fred sat clutching the body to him, his mind cleared and he had one thought only. How, in all that is holy, was he going to tell his mother that Ron had died? How was he ever going to tell his mother? A rage as hot as the hottest fire began to burn inside Fred Weasley. It was supposed to be his body lying dead on the floor, not Ron’s. He had seen it as clear as day. How could he have been so wrong? He felt his heart threatening to break through his chest. The pain was beyond anything he had ever experienced. “Ron,” he whispered, reaching down and kissing his brother’s forehead, before he gently and lovingly raised his bloody hands up and closed his brother’s eyes forever.

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A/N: Unfortunately it was time for a character to die. How and why Ron died will be revealed later as his murderer will just love to gloat about it, so stay tuned for the truth there. For any of you who were wondering where Ron had indeed got to, well there it is, sorta. Strangely, no one picked up on the fact that I had Ron disappear from the fic a while back! I am really anxious to hear what you all have to say about this one, so let me know. Like I warned you, it is a dark fic and it is going to get darker! But as Dumbledore said in the third movie,
“But you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times.”

Love, Ally

“Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.” –the incomparable Bob Dylan

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Chapter 18: As If You Have A Choice
Summary: Of battles, loss, and running from what you love.

A/N: Wow I am really on a roll with these updates! Let us hope I can keep it up! Anyway, here is where we find out a bit of the battle that took place before Fred walked in. It also deals with a bit of the aftermath of Ron’s death. I hope you enjoy. This chapter is a bit longer and a bit deep in the introspective kind of way.

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Draco had burst into the main chamber room expecting to find anything but what he saw. He watched as Hermione turned towards him, her wand drawn. Her mouth opened in surprise when her eyes met his.

“Draco?” she asked.

“Unless you know someone else this good-looking,” he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm and haste. “What the bloody hell are you doing here Granger?” he said angrily as he walked towards her. A sudden hand on his arm stopped him and for the first time he noticed others in the room.

“Now, now Malfoy, I was just about to ask you the same thing,” came Potter’s horrible voice to his right. Draco’s eyes widened in confusion as he looked first at Potter then at Snape.

“Fuck,” Draco said aloud, though it was hardly directed at any in the room. He watched as his plans went shooting out the door. The trio’s unexpected arrival was something he, Fred, and Remus had most certainly not planned for. Suddenly, something else hit Draco. Where the hell was Voldermort? Draco pushed Harry away and began to look around the room, his wand drawn. “Where is he?” he asked no one in particular.

Dumbledore had informed Draco that Voldermort would be here in this very place this very evening. Apparently a ‘spy’ had informed Dumbledore that a meeting was to be taking place here. Draco figured what a better way to reconnect with his old ‘friend’ then to pop in and say hello. Unfortunately it looked as though no such meeting was to be taking place. For if it was, the current attendees were well out of place.

Unless…suddenly something else clicked. Since when was the home of Voldermort so lightly guarded? He had made it to this room faster than anticipated and had only come across two other wizards. One he had made easy work of with a quick spell, the other had put up a bit more of a fight and the blood on Malfoy’s knuckles was proof. Something wasn’t right. This was all too easy. His eyes traveled back to the three other persons in the room. A light bulb went off in his head. Maybe it was supposed to be easy.

The Dark Lord had always been good at anticipating other’s actions. Perhaps he had purposely planted the information of a meeting to draw him here tonight. As his eyes once again fell upon Hermione, Draco thought that perhaps the Dark Lord had hoped to draw more than just him out tonight.

His thoughts were interrupted by a door exploding somewhere off to his left. All four turned and had their wands pointed as the source of the explosion stumbled into the room.

Remus stood shocked at the sight before him, blood dripping down his face from several cuts. Draco ran over to the werewolf.

“I see plans have changed. If you were going to invite others to this party Draco, you should have warned me,” Remus said, his voice cold as he noticed Snape, his eyes filled with worry as they passed over Hermione and Harry.

“Seems those aren’t the only plans that have changed. Take a look around,” Draco said, indicating the empty chamber room.

“Would someone please explain what the hell is going on?” Potter practically shouted

Draco watched as realization dawned on Remus Lupin’s face. “Fuck,” escaped the werewolf’s lips before all hell broke loose.

The room was suddenly flooded with Death-Eater’s, spells cast with only a second to dodge them. The four of them burst into action. Draco could only remember one other time that he had fought so hard for his life. The battle was rough and severely outnumbered. There were no less than forty Death-Eaters trying their best to kill or capture the five of them now in the room. As Draco dodged a fairly powerful spell, he wondered briefly where Fred had gotten too. His thoughts were ripped away from the Weasley as a spell brushed against his shoulder, causing a huge gash to open. Draco hissed at the pain and sent and equally powerful curse back at the wizard.

True, they were outnumbered, but then again, look whom Draco had on his side. The-Boy-Who-Wouldn’t-Die, Hermione-I-Know-Everything-Granger, a former professor of the Dark Arts, and Severus Snape, double agent extraordinaire. Needless to say, they held their own. Beads of sweat began to form upon his brow as the battle seemed to pick up a notch. From the corner of his eye he saw Fred come barreling into the room and freeze. He was probably in shock at the battle that was meeting his eyes. Draco heard Hermione scream his name from somewhere in the distance and he whipped his body around in time to duck a blazing orange spell coming his way. He saw Hermione start to run towards him but he frantically warned her off as three Death-Eaters made a charge for him.

Luckily for Draco, Hermione was not the docile type. A nicely aimed stunning spell brought down two while Draco’s own dreamless sleep spell hit the other. He really should be trying to kill them all, as they were trying to kill them, but Draco could not bear to kill while Hermione was watching. Last time that had happened things had gone terribly wrong. So as long as he could get away with harming the Dark wizards as much as was possible, he would be content with that. But he would kill in an instant, if there were no other way.

And as suddenly as the attack had begun, it was over. Draco put his hands on his knees and took in great gulps of air as the remaining Death-Eaters fled the room, taking the bodies of their fallen comrades with them. He felt Hermione place her hand gently on his arm and he turned to look at her, noticing her blood-covered body. He felt the urge to run after those still alive and kill them for harming her. He was stopped however by Hermione’s hand falling from his arm and her scream piercing the room. Only then did he become aware of someone else’s screams. Screams that seemed to rip into his very soul. He turned his head and saw Fred Weasley cradling a very bloody and very dead Ron Weasley.

“Shit,” he whispered. He stood back and watched as Remus and Snape ran to the body, apparently attempting to see if any spark of life remained. Fred refused to relinquish his hold on Ron, making their work awkward. It was, however, short lived as the pool of blood Fred sat in answered the question of whether the youngest Weasley son still lived. Harry seemed to walk in slow motion towards the body, dropping slowly to his knees, his hand reaching towards Ron and then drawing back quickly as though he had been burned. For the first time since Draco Malfoy had met Harry Potter, he pitied him. The look on his face was one of total failure and loss. He was white as a ghost and his eyes had a distant, glossy look to them. Harry Potter, it seemed, had left the building.

But it was the last member of this fucked up psuedo-family that Draco really cared about. He watched as Hermione walked up to Fred, her eyes not looking at Ron, but pleading with Fred to tell her something other than the obvious. Fred, for his part, didn’t notice. His eyes were glued to his brother’s lifeless ones, his tears flowing freely down his freckled face. Draco walked up behind the now still Hermione and gently put his arms around her. She didn’t notice. Instead they all watched silently as Fred leaned over and placed a kiss upon Ron’s forehead, before he tenderly closed his brother’s eyes with his own bloody hands.

Draco felt, rather than heard the sob that escaped from Hermione’s body. He tightened his grip only to have her rip free from it a minute later. She walked a few steps, bent and picked up an object, pocketed it and then walked over to Harry. Draco watched as she knelt beside the Boy Wonder and was enveloped in his embrace. He turned away, unable to handle the sight of the two crying in each other’s embrace. He tried to rationalize that it was their best friend’s body on the floor, but seeing Hermione in Harry’s arms brought bile to his throat.

Snape was walking over to him and Draco suddenly realized that his former Professor’s life had just taken a turn. It would be apparent now as to which side Snape was fighting for. The Death-Eaters who were currently on their way to their master would no doubt inform their lord of Severus’s part in the battle.

“It seems as though your plans were foiled,” Snape said in a muted voice, though still one laced with ice.

“As were yours,” Draco said, with a hint of sympathy. Snape looked at him long and hard before nodding once.

“I always knew the day would come Draco, it was only a matter of when. I could not stand back and allow them to kill any one of you,” Snape paused, his hard voice softening ever so slightly, his head taking in the broken people before them. “I see however that I was not able to save everyone. Alas, we all know the risks of the life we choose to live. I must go Draco. This new development will not go over well. I must inform Dumbledore as soon as possible. Besides,” and again he glanced to the body, “they will have more important things to do for the time being.”

Draco was lost for words. The man before him looked almost defeated and old, and though there was still spite and loathing in his voice, his eyes seemed to have changed completely. Snape noticed Draco staring at him with a look of confusion on his face.

“I am found out Draco. My life, like yours, is now one of running and hiding. The Dark Lord does not take betrayal lightly. It seems as though I am now bound to Dumbledore even more wholly than before. I made a decision long ago Draco, one I think you made also. I will not be a monster. I am a man, not a good one and one with few morals, but I am a man nonetheless. The body of a young innocent man lies on the floor not ten meters away from me and I feel nothing for him. No pain, no sadness; only envy. He has escaped a battle I have been fighting my entire life. There has been precious little that has ever made me smile, but I have lived on fighting for what I thought was right. I daresay Ronald Weasley knew the risks of his decisions in life, just as I know the risks of mine.”

Snape took one last look at the group before him and turned his eyes back on Draco. “I cannot say I understand or agree with your reasons Mr. Malfoy, but they are yours and yours alone. I have watched you grow under the fist of a ruthless, evil, hateful man, and yet I am proud to say you are nothing like him. We have a long way yet before we are free, if any of us will ever really be free from this. Good day, Mr. Malfoy,” Snape said. He turned on his heal, his black cloak billowing out behind him as he walked over to Remus. The two bent their heads together for a moment and then Severus was gone, his exit followed by a popping noise that echoed through out the room.

What happened next was a bit of a blur for Draco. But somehow he managed to find himself a part of the solemn procession that followed Ronald Weasley’s body to the home of his youth. They had wrapped his body in cloaks so as to hide his wounds. It was apparent he had been beaten badly, but for how long… They had untied his bound hands and Draco was not ashamed to admit he had almost gotten sick at the sight. Never had he seen wrists rubbed so raw. They had then apparated to the front lawn and now they stood outside of the Weasley’s front door. No one moved. No one had any idea how to proceed.

Draco watched as Fred closed his eyes and breathed in deeply before walking up to his own front door and knocking. Draco waited and watched. Harry stood next to Remus on the right side of Ron’s covered body, while he and Hermione stood to the left. They formed a somewhat sorry looking honour guard around the body. Draco’s eyes shot back to the front door as he saw it open and heard a voice from within. He saw the littlest Weaslette smiling up at her older brother, her eyes having not yet taken in the rest of the party.

“Fred? What are you doing knocking on the door?” she said, her voice almost like the magical tinkling of bells.

Fred leaned down and placed a bloody hand on his younger sisters cheek. “Ginny,” he whispered, his voice cracking, his eyes beginning to shine. “Oh god Ginny,” Fred moaned as he collapsed at his baby sister’s feet, his arms fallen limply in front of him, his eyes averted from Ginny’s as though he was ashamed to look her in the eye. Draco watched as Ginny’s smile disappeared as she stared at her brother.

“Fred?” she asked in confusion.

And then Ginny looked up. Draco have never held much compassion for the Weasley family, but the look in her eyes as she took them all in was enough to undo him. He felt the bile rise to his throat and it took all of his willpower and years of suppressed emotion to not turn and be sick.

As she took in the cloak-covered body she trembled slightly and turned to her brother. “Who?” she whispered. To Draco her voice sounded dead.

Fred’s face crumpled and he swallowed visibly. “It should have been me Ginny. Oh Maker, I saw it and it was me. Forgive me. Merlin Ginny I thought he was safe at home, I thought…I thought,” Fred trailed off unable to continue.

Ginny fell to her knees in front of her brother and cupped his dirty face in her porcelain hands. She smiled angelically at him, her eyes shining with waiting tears. “Who?” she asked again, and this time her voice was soft and everything an angel’s voice should be.

It was obvious to Draco that Ginny’s actions were the only thing keeping Fred from going over the deep end. He would mourn, scream, yell, curse, and lose it, but he still had his younger sister to take care of right now. Fred’s eyes met Ginny’s and he whispered the dreaded news. “Ron.”

Draco looked away as the two Weasley siblings collapsed into each other’s embrace, feeling as though he were intruding on something entirely to pure and raw for the likes of him. He noticed now that Harry was slowly walking towards the house, while Remus took control of Ron’s body. Hermione was sobbing and turned to look at Draco. He stood staring at her for a moment, not really knowing what to do. He didn’t belong here. He wasn’t part of this family. But where Hermione went, he would follow, and so he stayed.

Seeing that he was not about to make a move toward or away from her. Hermione turned and walked into the Weasley’s house, past the two broken people crying their souls out on their front porch. Draco decided it was best if he followed Remus and walked into the Burrow for the first time. As they entered the kitchen Draco saw the bottom half of Harry’s body sticking out of the fireplace. He heard his distant voice and imagined he must be contacting Ron’s parents, as it seemed as though no one was home.

Footsteps coming down the stairs made both Remus and Draco turn to see who would soon appear. A tall redheaded man came into the kitchen. Draco had no idea who he was but could guess that he was probably one of Ron’s older brothers. The man’s eyes took in Malfoy, Remus, and Harry’s now emerging body. In the background was the unmistakable sound of Ginny and Fred. Then the man’s eyes fell upon the body. They widened and he looked at Remus.

“Who?” he asked, his voice strong and deep.

“Bill, I’m sorry,” Remus began but Bill cut him off with a sharp gesture of his hand.

“It’s Ron, Bill,” Harry said from behind them, his voice quiet but strong.

Draco watched as Bill swallowed convulsively and nodded his head once before turning and heading towards the sound of weeping. A seed of respect began to grow in Draco for the longhaired Weasley.

Suddenly the kitchen was filled with popping sounds as the room filled with the rest of the Weasley family and a few others Draco recognized, and some he did not. Feeling this was not a place he would be welcome, nor that he would feel comfortable in, he caught Remus’s eyes and nodded towards the back door. Remus nodded in acknowledgement before turning back to the Weasley family.

Draco hurriedly and unobtrusively made his way towards the door and opened it as quietly as was possible, closing it behind him. He walked out into the back garden and took a deep, stabling breath as he took in his surroundings. As his gaze passed the lower part of the garden, he saw Hermione’s hair shooting out from behind the pumpkins. He took a deep breath and mustered up more courage than he’d needed in a while and walked the seemingly endless path to her tiny form.

As he rounded the corner and he finally saw her, he had to fight the urge to run over to her and take her away from all this. Her face was covered in blood and dirt. Her tears leaving wet smudges on her usually smooth cheeks. Her eyes were looking upwards as though searching for the answers of the universe.

“Hermione,” he said softly, hesitantly. She made no move to indicate that she had heard him. He took the final steps towards her and sat down next to her, his tired back leaning heavily on the giant pumpkin behind him. “Hermione,” he tried again, turning his head to look at her, his arm brushing hers.

She blinked. She blinked and Draco almost cheered. It was a sign of life, a sign of consciousness. He fought the smile that almost came to his lips and heaved a great sigh, allowing his tired and beaten body to relax for the first time in hours. Not really knowing how to handle a situation such as this, or really what to say, he slowly lifted his hand to her chin and gently turned her head to face his. His breath left him as he saw the hurt and loss in her chocolate eyes.

“How did you find us?” Draco asked very quietly, for lack of anything better, averting his eyes from the pain in Hermione’s.

“Snape,” came her hoarse, broken reply.

“Oh,” he whispered. He was once again at a loss. What does a person do? He had no practice with this. He was the Slytherin badass, Lucius Malfoy’s son. He would gladly throw his life on the line in an instant to protect her, but when it came to emotion, and condolences, Draco was stranded in a wasteland of confusion.

Fortunately for him, Hermione decided that words were not needed. Draco watched as she slowly leaned forward, her eyes drawing him into the depths of her, her lips acting as magnets. He felt his breath hitch. The thought that Hermione was willingly about to kiss him made him want to forget everything that had happened in the past week. Slowly, her lips reached out and met his. They were soft and slow, nothing like when he had pounced on her before. She tasted of blood, sweat and dirt. He had never tasted anything sweeter. He allowed his lips to caress hers achingly slow, and feather light. Neither had closed their eyes and he watched her watch him back. He had never been in such intimate contact with another human being. She was pouring all her hate, hurt, loss, and pain into this one kiss, and Draco gladly accepted like a blind man seeking sight.

Her eyes began to shine with a brightness that did not come from the cold sun. His heart began to ache but he couldn’t pull away. She needed this embrace as much as he did. He brought his fingertips slowly up to her cheek and caressed her skin as his lips continued to caress hers. He never wanted this moment to end. When it ended, reality would hit them again. Ron would still be dead, Voldermort still free, their lives still in danger.

As the sky opened up to add its sorrow to Hermione’s, Draco slowly pulled his lips free from hers. He stayed a centimeter in front of her, his eyes boring into hers, trying to feed her strength and love, not caring about the things that needed to be said between them. The rain picked up in strength but neither moved. She blinked as a raindrop fell onto her eyelashes. He smiled and leaned forward ever so slightly to kiss her swollen lips once.

“I’m sorry,” he finally managed to say, his lips brushing hers due to their proximity.

“Sorry doesn’t change anything,” she whispered, her tears indistinguishable from the falling rain. “Sorry doesn’t give me back a life I never had.”

He felt a knife slide into his heart at her words. “I wish I could give you that life Hermione, but I can’t, and I’ll never be able to. I realized that long ago and accepted it. Life for people like us will always be difficult and full of loss.”

“But why?” she spoke through her sobs. There was pleading in her eyes, pleading to make things simple.

“You know why luv,” Draco whispered as he began to stroke her wet hair. “We chose to fight. You woke up one morning and made a decision not to sit back at let others rule your life. You, me…Ron, we all chose a life with risks. He knew that,” he said carefully. He didn’t want to anger her, though he would rather have her angry with him than have to endure watching her heartbreak. He had never liked the Weasel, but Hermione had loved him. For him that was enough.

“Knowing doesn’t stop the pain,” she said, her eyes hardening slightly. ‘Good,’ Draco thought. She was a fighter and the sooner she started fighting, the sooner she would turn her pain and grief into anger. Then she would certainly be a force to reckon with. Draco had always been taught to take any emotion and turn it to advantage. People were unable to hurt you that way. He had lived by that for most of his life. He had lived like that until one fateful day he had crossed paths with the woman in front of him and tried to kill her.

“We’ll find who did this to Ron, who has been torturing us for years, and who took you and kill them Hermione,” he said, his fingers finding their way back to her face. He saw her eyes pleading with him again, and this time he understood perfectly. Her eyes clearly said, ‘Lie to me.’ He took a deep breath. “This will all end and just maybe you will be able to have that life you’ve been dreaming of. No more loss and pain, no more crying when you think no one is listening.”

“No more running?” she asked, her eyes boring into his. Draco allowed himself to get lost in this fantasy. He imagined she was asking him to stop running and join her in her life. He imagined that the emotion in her eyes that lay beneath the pain and sadness was love. He imagined. If lying to her at this moment was what she wanted, he would do it.

He nodded his head slightly. “No more running,” he stated forcefully. A ghost of a smile stretched across her face and this time they met each other half way. This kiss was one of passion and need. Her tongue forced its way into his mouth and he eagerly accepted it. He had no illusions as to the nature of this kiss. She wanted to leave this place and he would gladly take her away. The consequences would come later. He had been willing to die for her; he had no problem helping her get rid of her pain, even if it meant losing her forever. He just didn’t want to see her cry anymore.

At some point her hands had ripped open his already torn shirt and were eagerly exploring his wet, blood-covered chest. He brought his own hands around her tiny waist and pulled her towards him forcefully until he had her situated on his lap, her legs wrapping around his body. Their mouths were meeting and parting in the most primitive of battles and he pulled her body forward until they were chest to chest. He moaned. Suddenly they both froze. His eyes flew open and met hers, unable to read the look she was giving him but certain of the slight fear and uncertainty he found there. He brought his face away from hers, his body screaming in protest as her lips were torn from his.

He looked down between there bodies to see what had jabbed him so painfully in the chest and saw a handle escaping the folds of her torn robes. He looked back up at her and she closed her eyes briefly before opening them. She slid from his lap to sit on his knees and reached into her robes, withdrawing the offending object. Draco gasped, his eyes flying from the dagger up to hers.

“Whoever killed Ron, used this,” she said, her voice hard and even, her eyes turning to ice.

“Ho-How?” Draco stuttered out. He had thrown away that dagger so long ago it felt as though it had been a lifetime. He reached out and took the dagger from her, grasping it with his bloodstained hands.

“Fred,” she said. “Fred saw you and went after it. He gave it to me the night I found you in my flat. I don’t know why he did, and neither does he, but I took it and I put it in a drawer. I hadn’t thought twice about it until I saw it sticking out of Ron’s dead body,” she said monotonously, almost as though she were reciting lines.

The world came crashing into Draco. He hastily removed his legs from under her, his eyes unable to meet hers. He stood up quickly, the rain plastering his ragged clothing to his body. He looked around the garden for escape, but his eyes were drawn back to the dagger in his hand. His father had given him that dagger. He had given him that dagger so he could kill Hermione. It was when he had held that dagger to her throat that his life had changed. He had thrown it as far as he could into that blasted lake because of how the dagger taunted him and called out for blood. And now, the dagger lay innocently in his hand looking for all the world as though it had not just spilled the blood of an innocent.

He had caused this. It all came back to him. He had started this all so very long ago. He should never have come back; he should never have learned to love her; he should never have tried to save her life. Instead she was losing the ones she loved. Soon she would realize what he had and come to hate him. He couldn’t bear that. His eyes rose to hers and he saw her take a step back at whatever she saw in them. He had to leave her.

“I’m sorry,” Draco whispered before he brought his mouth crashing down on hers for a single, solitary moment. Then he turned and fled. It seemed he was doing a lot of that lately. At least he was getting good at it. He turned and ran out of the garden, up the back stairs and came to a dead stop in the Weasley’s kitchen.

They all looked up at him as though he were mad. Most had tears in their eyes, others looked lost, unable to deal with the pain. But one face met his with a hardness beyond anything Draco had ever experienced. Fred Weasley stood slowly and walked towards Draco. For the first time in his life, Draco Malfoy was afraid of a Weasley. If it were possible, Fred looked like Death herself had come to Earth and taken human form. Draco saw him glance at the dagger still clutched in his hand. The rain from outside began to run down his body and drip from his hand mixing with the blood there giving the dagger the appearance that it was dripping blood. Fred froze. His eyes slowly traveled back up to Draco’s and he nodded his head towards the next room, indicating he wished to speak with him in the abandoned living room.

Draco followed.

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A/N: Well folks? This chapter turned out to be super long. I hope you all like it. One part was really heartbreaking for me to write but I really do hope I pulled of the grief parts. It is difficult to write and well, here’s hoping. As for the action bits, well, hope they weren’t too ridiculous. Just let me know! Many things to deal with. When Hermione stops grieving she will most definitely confront Draco regarding the hasty I love you last chapter! Till then.

Love, Ally

You're the only thing that I love
It scares me more every day
On my knees I think clearer

Goodness knows I saw it coming
Or at least I'll claim I did
But in truth I'm lost for words

What have I done, it's too late for that
What have I become, truth is nothing yet
A simple mistake starts the hardest time
I promise I'll do anything you ask...this time

–Chocolate by Snow Patrol

Draco/Hermione fic: A Reason chapters 15&16

2005-12-06T22:50:48Z

A Reason update

Chapters 15&16

Chapter 15: Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Author: Hafthand (Ally)
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Draco takes a walk

A/N: I told you I already had it written! Hope you like, big event happens here!

In honour of Valentine’s Day and all!

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He walked along the crowded street feeling more alone than he had ever really allowed himself to feel. Surrounded on all sides by life and movement, he felt as though he had come to a standstill. His future lay before him as though he were at a crossroads. Choices. Choices he didn’t wish to think about haunted his every waking moment.

Draco shook his head slowly, trying unsuccessfully to once again push these thoughts from his mind. His hair fell in front of his stormy eyes and he allowed himself to come to a stop. It was a rather beautiful day and the mass of muggles around him was a testament to such a fact. Families, couples, friends milled around him in an attempt to live their lives the best they knew how.

What they didn’t know was that a war, a long and terrible war, was finally coming to a head underneath the surface of all this living. Draco watched them all without feeling a thing.

He had fled the mansion earlier for the simple reason of wanting to be alone. He had been alone for so long, that being forced to live with others caused him to ache for loneliness. Draco allowed a low chuckle to escape his mouth, his wry smile never reaching his sad eyes. Why kid anyone, let alone himself? He had fled the mansion not just to be alone, but also to think.

Dumbledore’s untimely arrival had preceded a very important top-secret meeting that revealed nothing of great importance. Everything that had been said at the three hundred year old dining room table had already been said before. Draco had felt as though Dumbledore’s arrival should have signaled some sort of great revelation, or some great plan that would be put immediately into action. But that was not to be the case.

They had all sat in their chairs and listened to Dumbledore explain the situation. Draco was being hunted. Hermione was being hunted. Harry Potter, the-boy-who-wouldn’t-fuckin-die-or-leave-him-in-peace, was also still being hunted. He had sat patiently and almost nervously as the old bat had explained the reason behind the Dark Lord’s hunt, half afraid and half yearning for him to reveal all. But of course, Dumbledore had simply explained that Voldermort wished to seek revenge for the loss of his number one man all those years ago. He had chosen to seek out the only living Malfoy male as replacement.

That explanation had seemed to suit everyone, though Snape and Remus had each taken their turns looking at him with either contempt or worry. “Fuck um,” Draco whispered underneath his breath. No one was willing to make a move, not yet. He looked up and squinted against the brightness of the sun. A rare day to be sure. It mostly just rained in England, and in the winter, one would be lucky to ever see the sun. But today, the day he was a murdering storm inside, today happened to be the most beautiful day he had experienced in a long while.

He decided he had drawn enough attention standing in the middle of the sidewalk muttering to himself. He glanced around quickly to get his bearings and decided to cross the street. He knew this wee town well and it was one of the few places left in this world that comforted him. Small enough to go unnoticed by the masses, yet not too small that his presence would cause any great fuss.

As he crossed the street his mind once again wandered to the mansion. After the meeting Dumbledore had expressed his wish to speak to him privately before departing. Draco had remained seated, his head twisted and following the progress of Hermione as she slowly left the room. Her own head had turned briefly, her eyes meeting his, before her body disappeared over the threshold.

Dumbledore’s words were no more than a jumbled mess inside his head, but Draco knew what had been said, or rather presented to him. That was what had caused him to apparate to this village in the back of beyond. Choices. There had been too many choices of late and he couldn’t see the end coming anytime soon. Well, at least not an end that he would enjoy.

He had always known it would only be a matter of time before they came for him, he had just never cared. But now he had walked back into her life, and she, unknowingly, made him care. He had had no problem with turning himself over to them; no problem fighting his way through them till he died; no problem until now. He glanced up again at the sun and when his eyes fell back to earth they rested on an old couple sitting together on a bench.

Silence. Everything faded to silence around him as he watched them. Now he wanted that. He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to fight anymore. He didn’t want to run. He wanted her, but not just now. No, he wanted what the couple in front of him had; a lifetime.

Tearing his gaze away, Draco felt the adrenaline rush through his body. He allowed it to take over and before he knew what he was doing, he was running through the crowds as fast as his legs could carry him. He kept running, pushing himself harder and faster as though any lost second would mean the end of him. He knew he was going to die; when Voldermort chose to mark you there was nothing else you could do but die. But he would be damned if he would die without getting what he wanted first. He was a Malfoy after all, and Malfoy’s always get what they want.

He had reached the outskirts of town but he didn’t stop. He kept pushing his legs until he had reached the forest at the edge of town and disappeared between the tall, dark trees. He kept running, letting the adrenaline flowing control him. His body suddenly stopped and before he could take a breath he apparated. In the next second he was running again, running through the halls of the house where he had grown up, if you could call what he had done, growing up.

He felt his heart beating faster than it ever had, threatening to explode through his chest, but he didn’t care. He ran faster ignoring anything and anyone who might be in his path. He was pretty sure a vase had crashed back when he was on the first floor, and that may have been Snape shouting at him back on the second. But he kept running, running until a dark green door suddenly loomed in front of him. Without hesitating he burst through and barely heard the startled scream before he slowed.

He allowed his momentum to carry him forward. His arms came up and pushed her back gently and roughly all at once until she was pushed against the wall her body pressed into every inch of his. Her eyes were big and stared at him, not in worry, but in question. His hands still lay at her hips, his fingers digging into the exposed flesh. Her scent, natural and feminine drove him over the edge.

“Drac-“ she began.

“I want you,” he growled before crashing his lips down onto hers. She gasped in surprise and Draco took the opportunity and pushed his tongue lustfully into her open mouth. He groaned in pleasure as hers met his in battle. Suddenly her hands were clawing at his hair, attempting to pull him closer. His hands slid up her shirt to grasp at her bare, soft back. He felt his head spinning as her lips met his every attack, her tongue dancing dangerously with his, her hands sliding in and out of his hair. He ground his body deeper into hers and felt her moan against his mouth. She tasted so sweet; so utterly delicious. Her soft lips were bruising his, but his body begged for more. She was driving him crazy. His heart felt as though it would burst. He couldn’t breath. He couldn’t breath. He couldn’t…

He tore his mouth away from hers, his forehead resting against hers as he panted, his lungs screaming for oxygen. His mind still intoxicated with the taste of her and the feel of her hard-soft body beneath his, he leaned forward and placed a soft, almost chaste kiss against her hot mouth. “Merlin, I love you Hermione,” he whispered against her lips. She gasped.

Suddenly Draco’s eyes shot open. He saw her own eyes staring back at him in surprise and wonder. His words came crashing back into his now sober brain and his entire body stiffened.

“What?” Hermione whispered, her hands frozen in his hair.

Draco found himself once again out of breath, his heart beating horribly fast. He pushed his body away from hers. “Bloody hell,” he murmured before he was once again running. And this time he wasn’t running towards something he wanted. No, this time he was running away from the one thing he treasured. This time he was running towards his fate. He knew now he would be unable to continue losing himself in her, unable to ignore the events around him. He knew now as long as her life was still in danger, he had to finish this. He would deal with the fallout of this encounter later. Now he was decided. Now, he would risk his lifetime to give her hers.

Growling to himself and allowing his eyes to grow darker than ever he continued running until he found his prey. He could walk this road alone, or he could bring others with him towards his doom. As the quiet man looked up from inside the room, Draco made up his mind. “Remus, I need your help.”

Upstairs Hermione Granger had not moved.

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A/N: Well? I know this was short but it had to be. If it felt rushed, that was the point. They are all rushing now to an end that not many can foresee. The time for thought is over but has also never been more important! Understand? No? That’s okay, all will be revealed! Below the thank you’s are the lyrics to the amazing song by Green Day that inspired this here chapter. So thank them for what I have written above. At least read the first two paragraphs of the lyrics, they explain Draco so well in my story!

Okay now to the next bits. A little Valentine’s treat for you all above. Hope you liked it, though I must say it won’t be butterflies and cake from here on out. I want to wish you all a Happy Valentine’s Day and send my love to you all. This story is possible only because you all give me the inspiration to write it! So thanks tons! Lots of love, Ally.

(I think I said ‘all’ there like ten times! lol)

Love, Ally
"I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I’m the only one and I walk a…

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that’s beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I’ll walk alone!”

-Green Day

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Chapter 16: They Who Save The Day
Summary: Harry alone and contemplating

A/N: Hey there my lovely friends! Here is the next chapter! Also, three of my most amazing reviewers, Lorett-returned, Mrs. Accio-Firebolt, and Bloodrust are having problems with their accounts. For some reason their names do not show up when one searches for them, and their stories do not show up on the regular lists. They have tried e-mailing that sight, but well, no luck so far. If this is happening to anyone else, or if anyone knows how to fix this problem, either e-mail me or look in my review pages for their names and e-mail them! Thank you!

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Harry sat quietly alone at the Weasley’s kitchen table. The quiet of the house around him a testament to the strange occurrences happening in his world. This house, this home, usually bursting to the brims with noise and love, was now very empty and very quiet. Harry sat alone in the one place he had always felt completely loved.

He had arrived here earlier, having fled Malfoy Manor, in hopes of trying to understand how his world was slowly spinning out of his control. He had secretly hoped that Mr. Weasley would be at the kitchen table reading the Daily Prophet; Mrs. Weasley, cooking and knitting all at once; the children causing havoc around the house. Harry had yearned for the normality of reality. Only, reality was changing. And with it, so must he.

Harry had always been sure of a few things. The Dursley’s, though the only blood relatives he had left, would never accept him. If there was trouble of any kind, the Weasley Twins were probably the cause of it. If he had a question, Hermione has the answer. These things had always been absolute.

He had also always been sure of the outcome of his life. Voldermort would die. Whether by his hand or someone else’s, Harry knew the Dark Lord would not win. Whether Harry himself survived, well this was a bit foggy. No matter what, Ron would always be by his side. Hogwarts and the Burrow would always be his homes. He and Snape would never get along. And lastly, the final thing Harry was sure of was his love for Hermione. He had always assumed that, with time, he and Hermione would find their way into each other’s arms.

Two days ago his reality, his absolutes, his future, had come crashing down around him in pieces and he still had not had a moment to try and pick them all up. Two days ago Draco Malfoy had waltzed back into their lives. Two days ago he watched the woman he loved fall into Malfoy’s arms, his enemy’s arms, instead of his. Two days ago he realized he was sure of nothing.

He sat now at the table where he had sat a thousand times before, feeling as though he were a stranger. It was approaching sunset and instead of everyone returning home to sit for dinner, Harry was alone.

Two days ago, he had fled Hermione’s flat for the comfort of this table. Only then, things had been very different.

Mrs. Weasley had been in the kitchen checking on the food while Mr. Weasley had sat before the fire quietly pretending to read as he dozed off. A series of loud explosions could be heard from Fred and George’s room, though Harry knew it could only be George who was present. He had seen Fred leaning casually against Hermione’s wall eating sweets, before he had disapparated here. Harry remembered having heard Ginny’s sweet voice talking to her mother. Ron had bee away delivering his message to Dumbledore.

For a moment, Harry had felt as though he had been having a bad dream. He had finally awoken and everything would be back to normal. Unfortunately he had been mistaken. When Harry had relayed his news to the Weasleys, he hadn’t realized how much his reality would be disrupted.

He sat alone now, two days later, in an eerily quiet home. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had sped off to Grimmauld Place upon hearing of Malfoy’s rebirth, and were most likely still there. George, Harry assumed, was probably watching over the store as it looked like Fred would not be returning any time soon. Ron…well Harry hadn’t actually seen Ron since he had left to deliver the message to Dumbledore. Harry assumed Ron would have returned here, but from the looks of things, he hadn’t. As for Ginny…

A squeak of the stairs behind him caused Harry to reach for his wand and turn quickly to face the invader.

“Honestly Harry! You boys are so jumpy these days! Voldermort need not worry. You’ll die of fright long before he can reach you,” Ginny Weasley said while smiling softly. She walked around Harry and sat at the opposite end of the table, her legs folding up into themselves.

“Merlin, Ginny! I thought the house was empty,” Harry said while letting out a sigh and sitting back down in his seat. He placed his wand on the table next to him.

Ginny let out a tiny snort and threw her red hair up into a ponytail before reaching for a piece of bread from the basket on the table. “Sorry to disappoint. I can leave you alone if you feel I am intruding in my own home,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Sorry Ginny. Not what I meant,” Harry responded tiredly.

“Rough day?” she asked quietly, not bothering to look up from her bread.

“Rough life,” Harry answered. He saw a small, sad smile cross her face as she played with her roll.

“Hmmm, things not going well at all then, I take it,” she said, bringing her eyes up to meet his. She cocked her head to the side slightly, wrinkling her brow as she thought. Harry reveled in the little lines that were creasing her forehead. “Mister Malfoy even nicer than he used to be?” she asked, a devilish smile playing on her lips.

Harry growled slightly at the mention of Malfoy’s name. He gritted his teeth and cracked his neck before answering. “Actually that is the problem, my little Weasley. He is being much to nice for my liking,” Harry responded, his eyes growing darker as the image of Hermione lying on her bed with Draco Malfoy over her; both locked in each other’s embrace.

“Yes well Malfoy always had that hidden layer,” she said quietly and looked back at the bread in her hands. “Some things are not in our control Harry,” she said quietly.

Harry wondered briefly if she had some idea of the events that had transpired, but shook his head. He had to stop thinking about it all. He allowed his gaze to fall onto Ginny and noticed for the first time what she was wearing. She had obviously been sleeping. She was clad only in a tiny black camisole and a pair of red boxers, which, he noticed, were his. For some reason, the thought of her sleeping in his clothes brought a tingle to Harry’s spine. He noticed her fair skin and vibrant hair.

“You are stunning,” he said breathily before he could catch himself.

Ginny Weasley looked back up at him and smiled toothily, a light laugh escaping her lips. “I’m not meant for you Harry,” she said while shaking her head. “And you, unfortunately, you are not meant for me.” Ginny smiled sadly, her hand reaching out to gently caress his.

He looked at their entwined hands and then brought his gaze up to her eyes. “You’ve met someone, haven’t you?” he asked softly.

He didn’t need to hear her answer. The starry look that suddenly appeared in her eyes was enough.

“Didn’t think I would wait around for you forever did you Harry?” she asked playfully, though her voice was quiet.

“You never said anything,” he said, squeezing her hand lightly.

She let out a small laugh and threw her head back. “With six older brothers would you bring a boy home?”

Now, Harry allowed himself a smile. “I doubt very much I would ever bring home a boy!”

“You doubt…so the possibility exists?” Ginny asked playfully.

“Ginny!” Harry shouted, throwing her hand away from him.

“Just kidding dear,” she said. They allowed their laughter to die down naturally before sitting in comfortable silence.

“Are you happy?” Harry finally asked softly.

She smiled before replying. “Yes. Yes Harry, I am.

He smiled at her before sighing. “Must be nice,” he said almost bitterly as his thoughts from earlier returned.

“Oh Harry,” Ginny whispered softly.

She stood and walked around the table, stopping in front of him. She reached out a hand and gently caressed his cheek. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the softness of her fingertips.

She leaned forward slightly and placed a soft, chaste kiss upon his lips. She pulled back, but Harry brought his hand to the back of her head and gently pushed her forwards, their lips meeting once again.

Ginny allowed him to kiss her softly, her own lips moving slowly with his. She figured she could give him this moment. After all, she had not been able to get him a birthday present as she had been away on business for most of the summer. The fact that she was indulging in her childhood fantasy most certainly had nothing to do with it.

Harry ran the tip of his tongue across her lower lip. She parted her lips slightly, allowed her own tongue to caress his once, ran the tip over his own lips and then pulled away.

She opened her eyes and watched him for a few moments. His eyes were still closed, his hand still on the back of her head. She smiled sadly and traced a line from his scar down to his lips with her finger.

“I’m not her, Harry,” she whispered. “And I think…I think she isn’t meant for you either.”

Harry nodded his head slightly and opened his eyes. “I know,” he said. There was no need for him to ask whom Ginny meant, or how she knew what Harry had been keeping locked in his mind.

He returned her sad smile and said, “Thank you.”

“I’d say anytime, but I wouldn’t want you getting the wrong impression,” Ginny said smiling. She pulled away and turned, heading for the kitchen door.

“He’s a very lucky man Ginny, whoever he is,” Harry called after her.

She paused, and turned her head towards him slightly. “I know,” she said before walking out.

Harry took a deep breath and stood up. It was past time for him to head back. It was past time for a lot of things.

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“What the hell was that all about?” came a cold voice from behind her. Ginny stopped on the stairs and turned to face her brother.

“Leave it Bill,” she said quietly, not feeling like getting into details about what he had obviously just witnessed. His face was set in a frown, his eyes darting back and forth from the kitchen to his little sister. “Leave it be,” she whispered again.

He must have sensed the fatigue and sadness within his sister for he simply nodded his head once before leaning against the wall behind him and crossing his arms in front of him. “So, Ginerva Weasley, who is this so called ‘man’ you are afraid to bring home?” Bill said quite seriously, though his eyes began to shine with mischief.

Ginny decided that trying to avoid the topic of her boyfriend with her brother was a far easier thing to do than trying to avoid the fact that he had seen her and Harry in a very private and personal moment.

“Damnit Bill,” she sighed before running up to her room, only to be followed closely by her loving older brother.

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Harry had barely apparated into the living room in Malfoy Manor when all of a sudden he was met with the sight of a very angry looking Hermione Granger. She stood on the opposite end of the room staring daggers at Snape, who for his part, stood with his back flat against the bookcase across from Hermione.

“Did I interrupt something?” Harry asked.

Hermione whipped her head towards Harry, her eyes blazing with fire. “They’re gone,” she said, her voice colder than the snow falling outside. Snape snorted from his corner.

Harry allowed his confusion to show on his face. “They’re gone Harry. Draco, Remus and Fred. Left. Vanished. Disappeared,” she said.

“What? Where?” Harry asked, still confused and dazed.

“Ah, now that, Mister Potter, is the question of the moment,” Snape said, his eyes flicking towards Hermione in a malicious, yet satisfied way.

“Shut up Severus,” Hermione snapped at him. “He knows, Harry. He knows where they have gone, but he is toying with me, making me beg and plead before he will graciously reveal all,” she spat.

“Well really Miss Granger, I would have thought with a brain as wonderfully praised as your, it should be obvious,” Snape said, his voice dripping with false feeling. Hermione glared death at him, and Harry’s former Potions Professor smiled a smile that most definitely reached his eyes. Harry felt a chill run down his spine at the sight.

“Where did they go Snape?” Harry asked firmly.

“Why, to find Voldermort, Mister Potter,” Snape said, and for the first time, his tone was serious, his eyes cold and twinkling with something akin to concern and fear. “They’ve gone to save the day.”

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A/N: Okay, sorry for delay, but I hope you liked the new chapter. And YES I know this was short! Next one is already started though I make no promises. The action really steps up next chapter as we get some … oh wait, I can’t say or it would ruin it. Suffice it to say I have plans! Big plans! But I did enjoy writing this chapter on the train ride to work, well at least part of it!

Well my lovelies, my bed is calling!

Love, Ally

“Doomsday is near; die all, die merrily.” –Henry IV Part 1 (foreshadowing much?)

Draco/Hermione fic: A Reason chapters 13&14

2005-12-06T22:40:17Z

A Reason update

Chapters 13&14

Chapter 13: …And You Get Blown Away
Author: Hafthand (Ally)
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Just another day at Malfoy Mansion!

A/N: Well folks here it is the next chapter. I do so hope you like it, I am a tad worried about some of it. You will see what I mean. Anyway props go out to Mrs. Accio-Firebolt who noticed the chapter title from last chapter would have some significance. Chapter 12 was “Then The Nightmares Come…” and this one is “…And You Get Blown Away”. It is a line from an Ocean Colour Scene song and is meant to foreshadow the doom that will soon befall them all!! Haha.

PLEASE READ: Before I forget I would like to thank everyone who has read my other little stories I have written. Especially all of you who reviewed “The Cawing of Crows”. Just wanted to say that anyone who read that and thought the song was a bit odd for a pretty depressing fic, all I will say is if you read the lyrics with Draco in mind instead of Hermione, then it should make much more sense. Thanks folks!

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“I’m bored,” Harry mumbled, his body thrown haphazardly on the elegant emerald green sofa. An enormous fire was blazing in an even bigger fireplace, and the expensive chess set sitting in front of him lay motionless.

“Shut up Potter,” Malfoy muttered, not even bothering to open his eyes from his position across the room. His legs were thrown out in front of him; his hurt and tired body slumped down in the red leather chair. “No one invited you anyway.”

“Shut up Malfoy,” Harry shot back, though his heart wasn’t in it. He glanced around the obviously rich drawing room and wondered how a house so large and full of stuff could be so boring. After the little incident earlier with Fred, Hermione had gone of to her room and Remus was still resting, leaving the three young men to their own devices. Turns out that their own devices seemed to be stuck in sitting mode.

“I wish I had my Firebolt,” Harry said without realizing it.

“You and that damn broom Potter. If I didn’t know any better I would think you had married it and were now known as Mrs. Accio-Firebolt,” Draco said tiredly. Harry bit back a reply and sighed loudly.

“Great, now even I am bored,” piped in Fred from across the chess table. He lay upside down staring at the pieces, his feet dangling gracelessly in the air.

“How could a Weasley Twin be bored?” Harry asked, feigning shock.

Fred managed to crack a slight smile before replying, “It has to be this monstrosity of a house. It is so empty and dull.”

“Yeah well, it’s not like my father spenthis money on dolls, or toy ponies,” Draco said from his corner of the room.

Silence enveloped the room, their conversation having met a dead end. The warmth of the fire seemed to press down on them, smothering their thoughts, and making them wish they were anywhere else. Unfortunately, since it had been abandoned for several years, the drawing room was one of the few rooms that they had bothered to clean. That was when the unfortunate incident with Fred and Hermione had taken place.

“Damnit, now I am bored,” Draco said, his eyes opening as he sighed mightily.

“Well, what do you wanna do?” Fred asked, his speech slightly slurry as the blood continued to rush to his upside down head.

Silence met his question as all three sat contemplating something the three of them could possible do together. Suddenly, just as it seemed no one would answer, they heard footsteps approaching the room.

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Hermione sat alone in the room she had been given, taking in the richness of the room. Malfoy had explained it had once been his mother’s and Hermione could see that the woman had had a very rich taste. Venetian seemed to be the theme and she had no doubt that Narcissa Malfoy had acquired most of the décor in Venice itself. She walked towards the far wall, her fingers reaching up to touch an elegant frame. Inside, a young Draco sat beside his mother. Neither smiled.

She sighed and walked back to sit on the bed, looking out the window at the amazing grounds behind the manor. She couldn’t really imagine growing up in a place like this. She would have been too afraid to touch anything. The minute they had all entered the front door, she felt the vastness of the house and wondered if Malfoy had felt alone growing up here. Lord knows she felt alone now.

After she had bathed in the amazing pearl tub, she had tried to get some sleep. Her thoughts wouldn’t allow her to and she had started exploring her room. However, she was quite bored now and decided to wander a bit and maybe see what the boys were up to. She shook her head as she thought of the three of them trying to get along for an afternoon. Chances are she would have to go on a hunt to find all three. Malfoy was probably brooding in his room, Harry was probably looking the place over for traps, and Fred, well he was probably setting traps. Her mind darkened a bit at the thought of the Weasley as she remembered the horrible pranks he had pulled on her earlier. She would get her revenge. It was only a matter of time.

Entering the hallway she was deciding whether to go right or left when she heard a loud explosion from downstairs followed by screaming. Taking off at a run, she ran towards the noise and the screaming. As she ran down the stairs and approached the Drawing Room she froze in the doorway at the scene before her.

“Ahhhhhh,” Fred’s scream rang through the room.

“How did you find us?” Harry’s voice said with dead calm.

“It wasn’t difficult Potter. It has always been easy to predict the movements of the forces of good,” came a croaky and hiss-like voice.

“Leave this house Voldermort, before we make you,” Draco said.

“Hahaha, foolish little Slytherin boy. You should know better then to order me around. Come back to the dark side Draco, and you will be rewarded with power beyond your imagination,” came the same screechy voice.

“Never! I will never join you,” Draco shouted.

“Then suffer the consequences as you stand beside The-Boy-Who-Lived and the noble Weasley clan,” came the screechy voice.

“Help! Help me Fred,” came a high-pitched feminine voice.

“Don’t worry Hermione, I will save you,” said Fred.

“Wait! Why do you get to save her,” Harry asked.

“Because I am dashing, charming, intelligent, and generally swoon-worthy,” Fred answered.

“Uh, I don’t think so. If anyone is going to be the hero here it will be me,” Draco said, his voice full of importance.

“Forget that. I am The-Boy-Who-Lived remember! I get to save the girl,” Harry said, his voice becoming angry.

“You either get to save the girl or kill the Dark Lord, Potter, one or the other,” Draco spat angrily back.

“No one can kill me,” came the evil screechy voice.

“Shut up!” Harry, Fred and Draco shouted at the voice.

“I think we already decided I would be the hero here,” Fred said.

Hermione had had enough. “What, in all that is holy, is going on here?” At the sound of her voice the three young men in front of her froze. Looks of fear and confusion on all their faces.

“Her-Hermione? What are you doing downstairs?” Draco stuttered as his hands flew behind his back.

“Yeah well got bored, didn’t I. Now someone please explain,” she said, her voice tight with control, her eyes gleaming. She couldn’t give in just yet. She would make them suffer just a bit more.

“Well, uh you see, well honestly Hermione, what did you expect us to do?” Fred said quite pathetically, the puppets on his hand still raised level with his chest. Harry was attempting to throw his to the floor, but it seemed one had gotten stuck. Malfoy still had his behind his back and was looking everywhere but at her. She looked at the floor and noticed they had built a huge fort out of cushions, books and paper. Someone had magicked the flags to wave in the imaginary wind.

“You won’t tell Ron will you Mione?” Harry pleaded having finally thrown the puppets to the ground.

Hermione was very proud of herself for not releasing the laughter that was threatening to escape. This was just too priceless. Never before had she wished so much for a camera. When she had entered the room, they had been sprawled on the floor surrounding the fort acting out what had seemed to her an attack from Voldermort. But wait. There had been eight puppets running about the fort.

“Wait, so who was Voldermort?” she asked, her curiosity getting the best of her. Suddenly Remus stood up from the middle of the fort where he had been hidden. A Voldermort puppet and what she could only assume was a Hermione puppet hanging limply from his hands. His eyes were wide and panicked.

“They made me do it,” he squeaked out. Hermione lost her last shred of control and finally released her laughter. Tears streamed down her face as she wondered at the turn of events that could force these unlikely companions into such a display.

“Well fine if you are going to be like that about it,” Harry mumbled before fleeing the room followed closely by a very red Remus.

“Wait, we didn’t vanquish the Dark Lord yet!” Fred shouted as he ran after them, taking his puppets with him.

Finally managing to reign in some of her laughter, Hermione felt as though a weight had been lifted. A weight that had been sitting on her shoulders for the past few days. She looked up at the only occupant in the room beside herself.

“Now I have seen everything,” she said. “Draco Malfoy playing dolls with Harry Potter, a Weasley, and a werewolf.”

She watched as his back stiffened and he finally turned his wandering gaze on her. Her eyes were still gleaming with laughter as she waited for his response.

“Wueue whtre broooheh,” he garbled out so quietly she couldn’t make out what he said.

She raised her eyebrows and said, “Excuse me?”

He heaved a great sigh and answered, “We were bored okay!” He turned around and threw the puppets he had been holding behind him into the fire. He turned back around and began to walk by her and out of the room, his eyes glowing with embarrassment and anger. Her hand shot out before she knew what she was doing and stopped him as she clung to his arm.

“Stay,” she said, her mind wondering why she had said that at all. “I’m sorry. I promise not too make fun of you, just…stay.”

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He turned his head to look at her, his face so very close. His eyes met hers and she could feel herself getting lost in those grey depths. Under his scrutiny and the warmth in the room her breath soon became a tad laboured. The more she tried to hide that fact from him, the worse it became. He turned until his body was facing her and walked forwards pushing her body backwards across the room until he had her pushed up against the expensive wallpaper, his eyes growing darker. She felt confusion envelop her as her mind spun. Any ability to think clearly was driven immediately from her as she felt his strong chest push up against hers, his forehead lowering to rest on hers, his breath blowing lightly across her lips.

Suddenly feeling the need for water she opened her mouth slightly and darted her tongue out to moisten her lips. She saw his eyes widen and felt as his breathing stopped for a single second. He brought his hands slowly to her hips, dragged them up her bare arms, and finally placed them on either side of her head on the wall behind her.

Confused by the sudden change in his actions she stuttered out the first thing she thought of, “I won’t tell anyone about the puppets.”

She felt rather than heard the laughter that escaped his too close body. Flashbacks of an occurrence in the library of Hogwarts so many years ago flooded her mind as she watched his eyes watching hers. Still slightly unsettled by the silence and his proximity she continued to speak. “I can’t imagine growing up here. I mean this place is amazing. Did your mother pick out the décor herself? I don’t suppose your father would have had much say, or has the house been in your family longer, or…” her words were cut off as his finger came to rest slowly on her lips.

“You ramble when you’re nervous Granger. Why are you nervous?” he whispered his head moving slighting forward until his nose brushed hers.

She took a breath and felt her body finally becoming calm as she allowed herself to accept his closeness. Once she did this she felt her mind quiet and her body relax. It had really only been yesterday that he had stumbled back into her life, but she refused to let him get the upper hand here. He knew what he did to her when he was close, and she wouldn’t let him use that knowledge to unnerve her. Two could play at this game.

“Why are you here Malfoy?” she whispered. She watched as his eyes registered her new frame of mind.

He could feel her relax under him and her eyes seemed to lose their almost panicked look. He didn’t know what had possessed him to push them into this position, but once again her touch had driven all rational thought from his mind and he had let something more primal take over. They had been in this house only a few hours, but they might be stuck here for days. He didn’t know how he would handle being locked up somewhere with her for that long.

His mind rushed back to her question and he let a small, devilish smile tug at his lips. He ran the tip of his finger on her lips, slowly across her bottom lip and was rewarded with her eyes fluttering closed momentarily. He watched as she snapped them back open. He could see in her eyes a determination not to let him win. This was one of the things that had drawn him to her so many years ago.

“Why are you here Malfoy?” she repeated, her mouth barely moving against his finger.

“I couldn’t stay away any longer,” he admitted. He could tell his answer surprised her, hell it had surprised him.

“Why?” she asked, trying to pry the whole truth from him.

He shifted his body slightly so that his leg rested between hers; his head pulled back so he could watch her; his finger on her lips now caressing her cheek. He found that if he allowed himself, he could lose himself forever in exploring her face.

“Why couldn’t you stay away?” she persisted. He knew now that she knew why, she just wanted to hear him say it.

“Because of you,” he whispered, closing his eyes, unable to watch her reaction. “You blow me away Hermione.” He felt her hand on his cheek and opened his eyes. He saw the resolve in her eyes and knew her questions weren’t finished.

“Why does everyone look at me so sadly whenever you are mentioned?” she asked, her voice faltering only slightly as though she were afraid of the answer. Draco took a deep breath and released it at the same time closing his eyes. Had the time come? Could he bring himself to tell her the truth of everything? He opened his eyes again and drank in her appearance. He moved both of his hands to her face and slid them up till they were slowly wrapped in her wild hair.

She had been there that night. She had been witness to it all. Her and a handful others. Remus had been there, as had Arthur Weasley. But none of that had mattered at the time. He had gone there knowing what he had to do, but he hadn’t expected the end result. She had been there the night he had murdered his father to save her life, but she didn’t remember it. He had always been thankful that she didn’t remember the events of that night. Had always been thankful she didn’t know the truth. Now for the first time he wished she did. That way he wouldn’t have to explain it all.

He leaned forward slightly and placed a chaste kiss on the corner of her mouth. He pulled back and began to speak. “Hermio-“

Immediately the sound of rushing in the fireplace interrupted him and he could have screamed. He turned and watched as a tall figure materialized out of the fireplace before him.

“Ah, Mr. Malfoy! So good to see you again. Oh good good, I see Miss Granger is with you. Come we have much to discuss. Shall we find the others?” Dumbledore said, a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye before exiting the room in search of the others.

Draco turned back to face Hermione and caught her eyes for a moment before she slowly pulled away from his hold and followed their former Headmaster out of the room. Draco walked to the fireplace and placed his hands against the mantelpiece. Truth be told he was somewhat relieved the old bat had interrupted them. But a part of him still wished he had been able to get it over with. He knew now he had no choice but to tell her. He had quickly become caught up in her world and she his. They were now taking each other for a ride and he really did not want to see where it was heading.

He glanced to the carpet and saw the remnants of the fort they had been playing with earlier. He had protested and denied his desire to play such a trivial, immature game but secretly he had relished the thought of escaping the drama and tension that had been following him around lately. Watching Potter do the puppet voices had amused him to no end. Not that he would ever admit it. It had been refreshing to act young again; it had been too long.

He heard a noise behind him and turned to see Snape standing in the doorway watching him. “Dumbledore is here,” Snape announced.

Draco nodded his head and turned back to the fire. Time would come when this was all going to be over, one way or the other. Was he prepared to do what had to be done to finish this? He hoped so, for her sake, he really hoped so.

“Come on lad. He’s waiting,” Snape said with unexpected softness. Draco looked back quickly to see if his ears had deceived him but Snape’s back was already heading down the hallway.

Crouching down and picking up what Fred had dubbed the “Voltron Puppet” he held it in his hands and stared at the face. He allowed his thumb to run across the face and he grimaced. One man started all this, one man was going to finish it. He stood up and threw the puppet into the fire. “Burn old man,” Draco gruffly said before turning and leaving the room.

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A/N: Well folks here it is as promised. Next up we have a meeting and finally a chapter with action!!! Things will start to pick up after this as plans will be set in motion. Dumbledore didn’t show up just for some tea!! Anyway, love you all.

Love, Ally

“Oh look what you’ve done, you’ve made a fool of everyone. It seems like such fun until you lose what you have won.” -Jet

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Chapter 14: Glimpses of the Twin
Summary: Glimpses of The Twin

A/N: Here you go folks. Next chapter! I know it has been ages folks but I have finally got myself a wee job here in Italy teaching English to corporate types! I only work three days a week so it doesn’t consume all of my time, but the past two weeks were a hell of a lot busier than I thought they would be.

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George stood at the counter, his tall body leaning heavily on his elbows. His eyes were fighting to stay open as he watched his customers mill around the shop. They were fairly busy but George found himself hoping for some excitement. The past few days had been pretty uneventful. Hermione’s grand storming out had been the last thing of consequence, and nothing had even come of that.

George let out a great sigh and slid his body farther down until his chin fell softly onto the counter. Merlin, the day was dragging. Two days of incessant rain and endless lines of annoying customers who fancied themselves troublemakers. Ha! As if any of them could even approach Fred and he in their greatness. George looked around looking for someone to agree with his unspoken thought, but alas, he was alone in a sea of people.

As he thought back, he realized he seemed to feel alone quite a bit lately. Ever since he and Fred had opened the store life had been wonderful. Before he had lived a life of poverty and second –hand everything. Now he and his Twin were amassing a small fortune for themselves. But as the business grew, they had inevitably had to branch out. Now they had a lovely mail-order cantaloupe, or whatever it was Hermione called it. She had set it up for them in hopes of reaching a wider clientele. So far, it had been working. Another brilliant idea from an incredibly brilliant girl.

As his thoughts turned to Hermione, he realized he had seen neither hide nor hair of her since two nights ago. But then again, now that he thought hard, he hadn’t really seen anyone since that night. Harry, Ron, and Remus had all taken off early the next morning to see how she was and had never returned. ‘Huh,’ thought George. It didn't seem horribly strange to him. After all, they all had the tendency to disappear anyway.

A kid of about thirteen was approaching his counter and he slowly stood to help. The kid was tall for his age and oddly enough, had a head full of red hair. There was also a twinkle in his eye that George recognized all to well. Oh yes, he had seen such a look of mischief before, but where? “This all kid?” George asked as he grabbed the pile of Dung Bombs before him.

“Aye,” the kid replied. Even as George put the Bombs in a sack, he could not get that familiar look in the boy’s eyes out of his mind. Where had he seen that before? Where had h-

Suddenly George stood up very straight, a look of confusion and question spreading over his handsome face. “Wait,” he said to know one and began to look around the store. “Where is Fred?”

His question was met with a blank expression on the child’s face and the continued noise of those shopping for mischief in his store.

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Fred, as it happened, was in a terribly important and secret meeting in a terribly important and secret place. So of course he was paying the utmost attention. Seriously, one’s thoughts couldn’t waver at a time such as this. He had to be very alert and very aware. So naturally he sat in his chair drifting off towards the land of nod.

“FRED!” came a shout like a screech owl next to his ear. He immediately sat up, his eyes flying open. He began to wonder why Hermione’s stern looking face was swinging wildly out of his view, when suddenly his head met the carpet, his feet flying above him as his chair toppled over.

“Jumpin Jupiter Hermione! Why you have to yell like that?” he shouted from his rather precarious position on the floor. His hand was rubbing the back of his head, his face scrunched in pain and annoyance. “I was this close,” and he indicated just how close with his fingers, “this close to stealing the cookie from the cookie jar! But NO you had to just dash a man’s dreams.” From somewhere off to the left he thought he heard the sound of laughter, but it was quickly covered with a loud coughing and clearing of throats.

“Get up will you,” Harry said, looking down at him from his seat next to Fred’s fallen chair. A hint of a smile played across the Boy-Who-Lived’s mouth before disappearing under Hermione’s hard gaze.

Fred, feeling not the least bit embarrassed and a little playful, elegantly stuck his tongue out at her before standing and righting his chair. He towered over Hermione’s petite figure and he smiled down at her. “You’re mad at me because you are jealous that my dreams aren’t full of naked Hermione’s running around and-“

“Fred Tiberius Weasley, if you finish that sentence,” she let the threat hang in the air.

“How the hell does she know everyone’s middle name?” came Draco’s quiet voice from the opposite end of the table.

“Ahem. Though I do love the entertainment, if we could get back to the matter at hand,” Dumbledore’s quiet but powerful voice echoed down from the head of the abnormally large mahogany table.

“Righto Old Chap. Sorry for the nap,” Fred said cheerily, sitting his tall frame back into his seat next to Hermione and Harry. He could feel Snape’s glare and barely make out the horrible man’s whisper of ‘Children’ before tuning them all out and trying once more to concentrate on Dumbledore.

“Oh don’t be bothered Mr. Weasley. Sometimes the body must rest! I myself find napping at the most inappropriate times,” Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “Now if we could continue.”

Fred sat back and allowed his former Headmaster’s words to wash over him. In all honesty he had not been dreaming of cookies, he hadn’t been dreaming at all. He had been thinking; something he had been doing a great deal of recently. So many revelations and secrets had emerged in the course of a few days that Fred felt his head spin every time he attempted to sort it all out. So many important plans to make, important people to kill, so many important things to do. But important was a word Fred did not throw around lightly.

Important. One word. One simple word, but a word with weight. When a person breaks down what is important to him or her, most get a long list. Fred’s was short. Important was a word that to him defined family. And his family was the only important thing in his tiny, twisted life. When he had been young, his family had consisted of his actual family. His folks, his brothers, his sister.

As he had grown he had relearned the definition of family and was forced to add a few members to his list. Harry had been the first new addition, then Hermione. Both to him were family, both were important. Older still, and a few more names, Remus, Neville, and Sirius, though his heart ached to think of the name, let alone of the man. So as he reached adulthood, his family had grown, and he had learned that he would gladly die for each and every one of them.

But today he was not thinking of his family. Today he was thinking of only one person. The one person who exceeded the word ‘Important.’ Today he allowed his mind to think about George. It seemed as though the last he had seen of his brother was a million years ago instead of simply a few days. But even so, Fred yearned for the comfort and familiarity his brother brought.

They were the mirror image of each other, yet inside very different. He had very rarely kept secrets from his brother, but their differences had prevented him from telling his twin about the recent happenings in Hermione’s flat and in Malfoy Manor. No, George would not be told about this. Fred kept telling himself it was to keep his brother safe, that is why he didn’t tell George, but the truth kept creeping back in.

As he had told Hermione, he had a knack for seeing things. He saw where all this was heading. He had a good idea he might not survive it. He refused to cause his twin any more pain then the next few days would probably bring. He refused to let the most important thing in his life talk him out of his duty. George was the only one who would have a chance in making him stay.

Letting out a deep sigh, Fred knew if he had any hope of doing what would be required, he had to stay as far away from his brother as possible. Accidentally, his gaze fell upon Draco Malfoy and the sad smile on his face fell as he watched the man sitting across the table. Fred saw things. What he saw for Draco made him want to cry.

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A/N: Okay a glimpse into the Twin’s minds. A lot of foreshadowing! I know this is short, but fear not! I have already written the next chapter! Just tweaking it, as a major development happens and the momentum really gets going. I think we will be reaching the climax of the story shortly. I don’t mean the end! No I think there are still quite a few chapters to go yet so fear not my loyal friends! Anyways…

Love, Ally

“I am standing on the edge of reason. Do I dare cross it?” -unknown

Draco/Hermione fic: A Reason chapters 11 &12

2005-12-06T22:30:36Z

A Reason update

Chapters 11&12

Chapter 11: Those Unseen
Author: Hafthand(Ally)
Disclaimer: Do not own them!
Summary: A look at someone not seen from in a while

A/N: WARNING: The next chapter is so very short and not focused on our main characters but it is essential, as I have finally figured out where I want this story to go.

I must personally thank lorett who has been an amazing inspiration and a wonderful friend. Also to accio, your wonderful pestering forced me to put something down on the computer to get my creative juices flowing again!

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She sat gazing at the white, bare wall not really seeing anything, not really noticing the movement around her. It had been this way for years but she was unaware of the time. The nurses who tended her would whisper to themselves about what a beauty she had once been, what a life she had once led. But it was all no more.

She was unaware of anything past, present, and future. Unaware of any memories but for one. He stood out like a shining beacon in her troubled mind. He was the light in a world that had never known good. He had been the only thing she had done right. But he was lost to her now and it was her fault. She couldn’t remember why, or even how he had been taken from her, all she knew was that something bad had happened and then he was gone. Or maybe she had gone? Maybe she had done something that had caused her to leave.

Either way she was sure she would never see him again or feel his presence. It didn’t matter. She was locked within her own mind, terribly unaware of the world around her. Had she been even the slightest bit aware she would have heard the mutterings and understood. She would have heard the nurses whisper as they read over The Daily Prophet. She would have understood that he had been sighted. Had she been able to remember the past, she would have understood the danger he was now in.

But Narcissa Malfoy was horribly unaware of anything around her. Even as the creature in black slithered his way past the nurse’s station unseen, she sat staring at the white, bare wall unblinking. Even as he circled her twice as a hunter circles its prey, she sat unmoving. Had she been aware of the world around her she would have seen him lean over her, his cold breath freezing the skin by her ear. Had she been able to process any kind of thought, Narcissa Malfoy would have heard the words he hissed to her. Had she been able to scream, her cries would have echoed through the halls.

Amazingly something of the woman she had once been must have remained in the shell of her body, for as she sat thinking the same thought she had been thinking for the past four years, a single tear rolled down her cheek.

As the creature in black slithered his way back out of the ward at St. Mungo’s, only one person beside Narcissa Malfoy was witness to his passage and his warning. Unfortunately he too was in St. Mungo’s for a reason. Unfortunately he had no way of communicating what he had just overheard.

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Patricia Alabaster shivered, as momentarily, all lights in the ward seemed to dim. She wrapped her shawl around her body tighter and checked the hall, not really knowing what she was looking for. Nothing. She shook her head slightly, the beads in her graying hair the only noise. She turned and walked back to her chair when a slight noise from inside the ward behind her made her turn back around. Grabbing her wand she pushed the curtain aside and gazed into the dark room. Everything seemed the same. “Lumos,” she muttered and followed the light of her wand further into the room. As she approached Mrs. Malfoy, she sighed in pity.

Had the woman been able to resurface for a single second, she would be aware that her son had reemerged into the land of the living. As Patricia came face to face with Mrs. Malfoy’s unseeing eyes she gasped quite loudly. There on the poor woman’s once beautiful face was a single tear. “Mrs. Malfoy?” Patricia asked, not really expecting an answer. When none came she took a handkerchief from her pocket and gently wiped the tear away.

Resettling the woman in her blankets she turned her attention to the only other occupant of the ward and for the second time that evening, gasped in surprise. The usually still and calm patient was opening and closing his mouth in such rapid movements that his actions could not be mistaken. He was apparently trying to tell someone something, but alas, the poor boy would never be able to speak again. All anyone could do was offer him comfort. His usually distant eyes seemed to focus on Patricia in an almost shocking way. But a second later they rolled back into his head. Poor lad.

Tucking his blankets back around his tired body. She turned and prepared to leave the room when she suddenly froze. Shock was something that Patricia Alabaster did not experience, but apparently tonight she was going for three out of three. Mrs. Malfoy was currently sitting up and staring straight into her eyes. There was no doubt in Patricia’s mind that Narcissa saw her.

“He is going to kill my son,” she uttered from a dry and unused throat before dropping back onto her bed, her eyes returning to their normal state.

For ten minutes Patricia Alabaster stood there unmoving as though she were one of her patients. She should by all rights inform the head healer. She should by all rights be doing anything other then just standing there. But by all rights what she had just witnessed should never have happened.

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A/N: Short I know but fear not. I have not forgotten this story!! I know it may not have been what you expected but it was a necessary installment. I must apologize for not thanking all of you individually who reviewed. It has been so long and I have lost half of them, but I do promise to pick the habit back up with the next chapter which hopefully will not take as long and will be ten times longer. Thank you again to everyone who keeps reading!

NEXT UP: SNAPE and why he suddenly appears in Hermione's flat!!! I promise!!

Love, Ally

“Dead eyes, do you see me?” -unknown

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Chapter 12: Then The Nightmares Come
Summary: Finally, Snape’s exposure to a strange world

A/N: Haha! I forced myself to sit down and type out the next chapter so I wouldn’t let you people down! I do hope you enjoy it. Writing Snape’s part was terribly trying. I hope I pulled it off! Also there seemed to be a wee bit of confusion over the last chapter. This was intentional on some levels. You are not meant to know who visits Narcissa. You are also not meant to know who was the other patient in the room. But fear not all will be revealed. All I will say is that Narcissa received a visitor who informed her of his horrible plan to kill Draco. The only witness to it was the silent patient in the bed across from her.

Without further ado!!

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He stared into the dying fire before him and allowed the fire whiskey to burn down his throat. What had he gotten himself into? Severus Snape was never one to dwell on what could be, but tonight, as he sat in the freezing dungeon of a house not his, he began to wonder if what he had just done would change things for the better. After all, he had changed sides for more than self-preservation. He had changed sides for the simple reason that he refused to live his life following anyone’s orders but his own. Dumbledore offered him that freedom, no more no less. So Dumbledore’s side would be Snape’s. He knocked back the rest of his drink and threw the glass into the blue fire before him. He would soon find out if his decision had been the right one. Soon.

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Flashback

To say that Severus Snape’s presence in Miss Granger’s flat was unwanted would have to be the understatement of the century. Why he could practically feel the temperature in the room drop to freezing. Then again that could just be caused by that particularly unflattering look Miss Granger’s face. He had never had the opportunity to visit Miss Granger’s home before; an opportunity he could honestly say he didn’t regret not having. Besides the very worn copy of “Hogwart’s: A History” and a very battered Cleansweep 6 in the corner, her entire flat screamed muggle. Snape sniffed and brought his attention back to those before him.

“Mr. Malfoy,” Snape said coldly, his beady eyes running over Malfoy as though wondering if he was indeed real.

“Severus,” Malfoy answered just as coldly, stepping in front of Hermione when he noticed Snape’s gaze lingering on her.

Silently taking not of Malfoy’s action, Snape’s eyebrows rose ever so slightly and a dark smile tugged at his lips. “Severus is it?” Snape asked the young man before him. “Well, well, Draco,” and he allowed himself to draw out the name, “my how we have grown up. I trust the years of playing dead have been kind? Plenty of warm caves to sleep in? Lots of rats and the such?”

“Why are you here Severus?” Remus asked again suddenly, breaking Snape’s gaze away from Malfoy.

Snape’s face grimaced slightly as he took in Remus Lupin’s haggard appearance. His mind instinctually calculated the days left until the next full moon. “Dumbledore sent me. Apparently a very concerned Mr. Weasley has just recently informed him of a rather, hmm, how to say…delicate situation that has arisen.”

“He was meant to send an owl,” Remus said, almost to himself.

“Yes well Mr. Weasley’s touching concern for those he cares about got the better of him and he personally delivered the message. A shame really. I had avoided seeing a Weasley child for almost a whole year now,” he said, his gaze falling onto Fred. “I guess my streak of luck has finally run out.”

Fred stood up and stared at Snape for a long moment with an unreadable look in his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again thinking better of it. He cocked his head to the side slightly and ran his eyes over Snape’s greasy, dark appearance. Suddenly Fred smiled and said, “You’re not worth getting worked up over.” Snape’s eyes, though it had seemed impossible, got even harder. Fred turned his look away from his former professor and walked past Hermione and Malfoy into the kitchen. Sounds of his search through her refrigerator could be heard.

Snape stood in the middle of the room raging inside. He was appalled at the way these children fancied themselves so grown-up. Oh yes, he considered them simply children, children trying to play a game that was above their level of abilities. He had never agreed with Dumbledore’s need to draw them into the inner workings of the Order, and he had never been quiet about his misgivings. Attempting to shove the feelings of anguish that threatened to overtake his judgment, he brought his attention back to the one person in this room he had actually been anticipating seeing.

To Snape’s eyes, Draco Malfoy had not changed much in the two years he had been missing. He had never truly believed the boy to be dead; Malfoy’s were too clever for that. And he had always held Draco Malfoy above the rest of his psychotic family. That’s all they had been anyway, that’s all any of them were. Power-hungry wizards drunk on their own greatness. But in Draco he had seen a glimmer of something different, not at first, but towards the end he had seen something in Draco that no Malfoy had ever had.

The boy was, is and always would be a very dark person; Snape had no doubt about that. Lucius had seen to that before he had gone and got himself killed. He had left enough physical and mental scars upon his son that would make it impossible for Draco to live a normal life. Never had Snape seen a father so out to destroy his own son. But then again, looking back, Snape realized Lucius was out to destroy pretty much everything in his life, including his own mind. Unfortunately his wife and child had paid most dearly for it.

Snape did not for a moment feel pity or sympathy for the boy. You had to survive what was thrown your way, or else lay down and let it rule you. Survival of the fittest. No, Snape did not pity Draco one bit. Snape respected the boy; it was a deep, painful respect, but he respected Draco none-the-less. If he were to be honest, Draco’s life very much paralleled his own and that is why he respected the young wizard standing before him.

Two years had matured him both physically and mentally. When Draco had been his student, his eyes had been so very easy to read. He had been a simple, uncomplicated person back then, running mainly on hate and obedience. But now his eyes were hard, deep, and full of emotion. Snape was not blind to the reason behind that emotion. The way he had placed his body in between the girl and what he had perceived as danger had been only one of the many signs. Then again the most obvious reason was still a badly kept secret that was now causing all sorts of problems. Snape allowed himself to laugh inwardly at the path the young man had chosen to take. Lucius must be rolling in his cursed grave.

Snape shook his head, his greasy, black hair shifting slightly. He brought his thoughts back to the present and the task at hand. Now was not the time to let his thoughts travel backwards. Snape hated the past so much he often wondered why he bothered to fight so very hard for his future. He wasn’t a decent person, he had decided years ago, but he refused to be a monster.

“Dumbledore informed me of recent events and has sent me with a course of action,” Snape finally said, turning slightly towards Remus to see that he had heard his words.

“And since when are you Dumbledore’s messenger pigeon?” Malfoy said, his voice flat and cautious.

Snape smirked at the ignorance of the boy and watched as Hermione put a soft hand on Draco’s arm. The boy turned his head to her, his eyes meeting hers. Whatever he read there caused his body to relax visibly. “Later,” Snape heard the girl whisper. He knew that by tomorrow Malfoy would know all about his double life. The list of people who knew what his role in this war was, steadily kept growing longer. A necessary thing, but regrettable all the same.

“Yes, I suppose Miss Granger here is right for once,” he sneered as Hermione turned her cold eyes to his. “Explanations would best be kept for later. Time is of the essence. Shall we proceed forward then?” he asked as though addressing a room full of his potions students.

“And just what do you have in mind Severus?” Remus asked

Snape allowed himself the luxury of a dramatic pause before he answered. “Well, staying here is most certainly not an option seeing as the entire wizarding world is after you.”

“What? What are you talking about? I didn’t realize I was in that much danger?” Hermione squeaked out. Snape was momentarily confused by her outburst.

“It is not you they are after Miss Granger, so do stop your fretting,” he spat at her.

“What do you mean Snape? They were here waiting or her last night,” Remus told him, his eyes narrowing as he pinned Snape with an almost animal look.

“Yes, true, they came with intention of capturing Miss Granger, but she was to be bait for him,” he said coldly as he extended his arm and pointed at Malfoy.

“So technically they really were after her,” Fred said, having returned from his kitchen crusade with a bag of biscuits. Really the lad’s appetite was something to astound even the most uninterested of people.

“Oh will you shut up Weasley! Finer points aside, Mister Malfoy is their main target, so it is Mister Malfoy who we must hide,” Snape practically shouted, his impatience with the Weasley clan soaring to new heights.

“Why me?” Draco suddenly asked, though the look in his eyes told Severus that he already knew the reason.

“You didn’t actually think you could do what you did and get away with it did you?” Snape asked as he coolly arched his eyebrow. The glare Malfoy shot back told him all. “You would have been better off staying dead Mister Malfoy. The Dark Lord has had one Malfoy taken from him against his wishes. He now requires the other Malfoy as payment of this debt. He wants his vengeance. You have been volunteered,” Snape said quietly and watched as Draco grew paler than ever, though his eyes retained their hardness.

“And just where do you plan on hiding me Severus? If your Master really wants my blood so badly, there are few places he would not find me,” Draco spat out.

“Why I would think that would be glaringly obvious,” Snape said and had the pleasure of delivering the news that had brought him to this place. “We’ll be going to Malfoy Manor of course.” The silence that followed was almost laughable.

The looks he was receiving were priceless. Fred Weasley had spit the entire contents of his mouth into Hermione’s hair. She didn’t notice however, as her eyes were wide and her mouth agape. Draco, for his part, simply stood frozen, his eyes ice as he stared at Snape. As for the werewolf, there was a cold calculating look in his mistrustful eyes.

“That would be suicide,” Lupin said evenly, his voice low but failing to hide his concern.

“I won’t go back there,” Draco said firmly, his hands unconsciously seeking Hermione’s body.

“Oh you will Mister Malfoy. You don’t exactly have a choice in the matter,” Snape said, a small smile slowly creeping onto his face.

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And that is how he had found his way here, in front of a dieing fire getting thoroughly drunk in a house he too had vowed he would never set foot in again. But here he was, stuck with several people he could barely stand. Dumbledore had suggested they hide here, and at the time Severus had agreed with the old man’s logic. There were so many protective spells on the house, there really were few safer places. Plus, never in a million years would Voldermort suspect Draco to come back here.

But after the day’s events, Snape was ready to throw Dumbledore’s cool logic out the window and run for the hills. Having to spend time with Lupin would normally be enough to try his patience. Throw in Miss Granger, a severely disturbed Draco Malfoy, an amazingly annoying Fred Weasley who insisted on popping up everywhere, and a certain Boy-Who-Lived who had tagged along for the ride at the last minute, and Severus Snape highly doubted he would have his sanity by morning.

A loud feminine scream suddenly echoed through the gigantic manor followed by the sound of running feet and heavy breathing. Fred Weasley barged through the door and skidded to a halt when he saw Snape. “Hide me!” he shouted, his voice bordering on panic.

Snape had not moved. The alcohol had clouded his mind, but enough of these occurrences had happened throughout the day that he was now unfazed. “Whatever it is you have done to Miss Granger this time Weasley, you will have to get out of it yourself. I am not your babysitter,” Snape managed to say without slurring too much.

Just then a very wet, very purple, and very upset looking Hermione Granger entered the room. Her eyes were huge and wild, her teeth audibly grinding. “I will kill you,” she said, steel in her voice. She whipped out her wand and pointed it at Fred.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,” Fred screamed before running out the back of the room, Hermione close on his tail.

Not ten seconds later none other then Harry Potter himself came running into the room. “Where are they?” he asked through gasps. Snape simply pointed to the back. “Thanks,” Potter shouted as he ran after. A loud explosion could be heard from their direction.

As expected, Malfoy came running in a few seconds later. He froze as Fred, looking slightly singed came shooting back into the room. “Go, go, she has finally lost it,” he shouted at Malfoy. The two ran out of the room only to be followed closely by Hermione and Potter.

Snape stood up slowly, a twitch having finally reached his left eye. He walked over to the expensive mahogany bar by the fire, grabbed the glass bottle, and proceeded to choke down the entire contents. Merlin help him, he had better had made the right decision all those years ago.

“FRED WEASLEY!!!!” came Granger’s shrill shout followed by yet another explosion.

Snape began to pray that someone, anyone, even the Dark Lord himself would come and take him away. He was even beginning to hope Granger’s screams would wake up Lupin. Having no other option, he picked up another bottle and choked down even more alcohol. If he had to stay here with these children, he would make sure he couldn’t remember it in the morning.

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A/N: Hiya! No real cliffhanger this time folks! My treat. But do not fret, plenty of action coming up. I do so hope you all enjoyed it. I had to throw in the last scene there to lighten the story up a bit. It has gotten quite dark and serious that I wanted to reinstate the fact that these really are just children. They are only about 19-22 years of age. I hope it worked!

Love, Ally

“Oh nothing Tommy. It’s tip-top. It’s just I’m not sure about the colour.” –Turkish (a cookie for anyone who guesses what movie this is from)

Draco/Hermione fic: A Reason chapters 9&10

2005-12-06T22:25:11Z

A Reason update!

Chapters 9&10! Halfway there...

Chapter 9: The Foolishness of Men
Author: Hafthand (Ally)
Disclaimer: Property of J.K. Rowling
Summary: The aftermath of the kitchen encounter!

A/N: Okay if a towel clad Draco gets the amount of Reviews that my chapter just got then I am going to put one in every chapter!! Lol. And as ‘a’ (one of my lovely reviewers) kindly pointed out, I totally spelled Wingardium Leviosa wrong. And you know what I think I just did again! Latin is not my specialty folks and I was lazy again! Had no desire to hunt down the spelling as I wrote that chapter at like 3 am! Anyway, I will totally be more careful in the future.

Also one of my reviewers (bloodrust) pointed out something I too had noticed. I sometimes switch from 1st person to 3rd person, depending on the chapter. Well I saw that and stopped. From here on out, and you can see from some of the last chapters, I am going to be writing in 3rd person!

Also, to clear up any confusion, I am a girl! Hence the constant Draco shirtless theme! Lol. Is it wrong to love that young boy who plays Malfoy? I mean I am sure it’s illegal but, huh, sigh, guess I will stick to fanfic! Lol. Just kidding, though he is maturing wonderfully.

The chapter below was the hardest to write so far, so I hope it isn’t too disappointing! Anyway...back to the matter at hand. Draco, in a towel; Ron, wand out and charging; Harry, frozen; Hermione, losing control!

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It had all worked out. Somehow she had managed to prevent murder from happening in her flat. Somehow she had stopped bloodshed. But that knowledge was not helping her now. Now, she was even more confused. Now, she was even more worried. Now, she was trying to get drunk off of cooking sherry.

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Flashback

“Bloody hell,” Ron spit out, his face suddenly going a dangerous red. He whipped out his wand and launched himself towards Draco.

“Ron, NO!” Hermione shouted, throwing her body into Ronald Weasley’s. At the same time, Draco Malfoy jumped in surprise, turned so quickly his towel fell off, and ran stark naked into Hermione’s room, slamming the door shut behind him. Harry, his eyes still blazing, well Harry was still frozen in place. Oh he wanted to move, wanted to find out what in Merlin’s name was going on, but unfortunately, Ron had cast the Petrificus Totalus spell at Malfoy just as Hermione had tackled him. The spell fired from Ron’s wand, slammed into a hanging pot where it proceeded to ricochet off the metal and head straight towards Harry. If looks could kill, Ronald Weasley would be dead.

Ron and Hermione had both frozen. Ron had his back on the floor, his face full of fear. His hand was on his wand but so was Hermione’s. She too was frozen on top of Ron, looking at Harry with fear in her own eyes. “S-sorry Harry,” Ron squeaked out.

“Oh god, oh god,” Hermione said finally breaking from her momentary silence. She scrambled off of Ron and ran over to Harry, muttering the counter curse. “You all right Harry?” she asked carefully, still aware that the questions were coming.

For Harry’s part, being frozen had done wonders for his temper. Instead of wanting to rush over and kill Malfoy on the spot, he had now calmed down sufficiently to realize that no, he wanted to torture Malfoy first, and then give him a slow death. “Yeah Hermione I am fine. I am going to kill you later though,” he said pointing at Ron.

“Yeah mate, well first let’s kill him, then we can work out our problems,” Ron said, slowly standing, his face going red with anger again.

“You will do no such thing in my house Ronald Weasley. That goes for you to Harry. No one raises a wand, not one,” Hermione said harshly, putting herself between them and her bedroom door.

“What is he doing here Hermione?” Harry asked calmly. A little too calmly, for Hermione saw the danger present in his eyes.

“Well,” Hermione began. Just as suddenly she stopped. What was he doing here? He had never answered her question, and in all honesty she was just as confused as the boys.

“Well...” Ron said leaning against the kitchen counter, casually crossing his arms over his chest. “We are waiting Hermione.”

She decided that she was not going to go through this alone. Suddenly Hermione turned towards her bedroom door and shouted, “DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!”

“HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW MY MIDDLE NAME?” came Draco’s shout from the other side of the door.

“Oh you would be surprised what I know about you. Now get the HELL out here,” Hermione shouted back, getting angry at the situation he had so obviously caused.

“Well unless you want me to come out wearing one of YOUR DRESSES, give me my goddamn clothes!” Draco shouted back.

“Kinda reminds you of being back at Hogwarts doesn’t it Harry?” Ron, fighting back his laughter, asked Harry, who was also trying to suppress his amusement. Though still confused beyond words, the current situation was highly amusing, not what they had pictured when they imagined meeting Draco Malfoy again.

“Well, I am so happy you two have calmed the fuck down!” she shrieked at them. “Maybe now we can get somewhere without my flat being destroyed.”

“Damnit GRANGER, where the hell are my clothes?” Draco shouted from her room.

“Patience of a friggen two-year old, I swear to god I should have let him die, save me the trouble, and now I have these two, first trying to wreck my place, now trying not to pee on my floor with their laughter,” Hermione mumbled too herself as she walked over to Ron and roughly pushed him over. She leaned down and took out Draco’s clothes from the washing machine/dryer. Shooting and evil look at the still chuckling boys, she walked over to her bedroom door and knocked quietly.

“Bout damn time,” Draco said as he opened the door a crack. He swiftly grabbed his clothes, mumbled a barely audible thank you, and slammed the door again.

“See if I help you ever again with that attitude,” Hermione said and turned back to the kitchen. Just as she was about to address her two friends, Draco’s shout could once again be heard from inside her room.

“Granger! What the hell did you do to my clothes?” he shouted before opening her door and walking briskly to stand directly in front of her, his ragged breath on her face, his ripped clothes hanging loosely from his body. His eyes were on fire as they met hers. There he saw ice.

“What the hell did I do?” she said coldly. “What the hell did I do? You’re lucky I got out as much blood off as I did. Besides I was not the one who attacked you! Maybe you don’t remember but I was the one who bloody well saved your life!”

Draco froze as his anger disappeared. He hadn’t been angry with her. No, he had been angry with Potter and Weasley, and well, he had allowed that anger to cloud his mind. Now he remembered that she had indeed saved his worthless life. “Yeah,” he said quietly, “well now we are even.”

Hermione jumped back in surprise at his words. “What?” she asked.

But before he could answer her, Harry cleared his throat. “As amusing as it is seeing the two of you fight, what the hell is going on? Who attacked you Malfoy?”

“Why Potter I didn’t know you cared?” Draco drawled. Secretly he had always loved sparring with these three. Hermione was by far the best with her words, but seeing Potter and Weasley get so angry they became reckless, had been one of the few things he had missed about Hogwarts, in a weird twisted sort of way. But now they were all different. Yes, a mutual dislike ran through their veins, but they were no longer children playing around with magic. Every single person in that room had killed, had watched someone be killed, had lost someone they loved. Every single person in that room was no longer naïve.

“Yeah, well put it down to curiosity Malfoy,” Harry said, a slight smile playing at his lips. “I should curse you right here, right now, and drag your sorry ass to the ministry; but I am not stupid. Hermione here apparently helped you out. So I will wait and hear her story before I curse you right here, right now, and drag your sorry ass to the ministry,” Harry said.

“Good to know you missed me as much as I missed you Potter,” Draco said smiling. He had been away from people for so long, and though not everyone in this room was exactly his idea of company, things were certainly interesting. He turned to look down at a scowling Hermione in front of him, her eyes still icy, but becoming less so as she realized no one was going to kill anyone, just yet anyway.

Staring at Hermione brought Draco’s mind to last night’s events. Hermione watched as his face changed from amused anger to fear and concern. She instantly got the feeling that perhaps Draco Malfoy’s sudden reappearance in her life was not exactly a coincidence.

“If you two would finish staring at each other, maybe we could get to the explanation,” Ron said angrily, slowly getting up from the counter and shooting one last piercing glance at Malfoy turned and went into the living room.

Realizing how close she was to Malfoy and the fact that she had been staring at him for several moments too long, Hermione stepped quickly back and turned towards the kitchen. Draco stood frozen for a moment longer, watching her move nervously into the kitchen. He raised his eyes and saw Harry staring at him. At this moment words were not needed between the long time rivals. Harry’s look was clear: You go near her and I will kill you. Draco’s look, just as clear: I’ll do what I want Potter.

Harry turned and slowly went into the living room before throwing himself down on the couch next to Ron, who at this moment did not look the least bit happy with the current situation.

“Here, I made you this sandwich. I thought you should eat something, all that healing would have taken a lot out of you,” Harry and Ron heard Hermione say softly to Malfoy in the kitchen. The two boys shot each other strange looks.

“Thanks Granger,” they heard Malfoy reply just as softly. “Oh and Granger, your pasta is about to boil over.”

“Shit!” Hermione squealed just as they saw Malfoy emerging from the kitchen holding a plate with a sandwich on it in his hands.

He paused as he saw the two young men staring at him then casually walked over and threw himself into the couch across from them. His eyes never leaving theirs, he happily began devouring the much-needed food. Harry and Ron just glared.

The staring contest was interrupted as Hermione emerged from the kitchen. She stumbled a bit under the intense gaze of the three men in her living room before walking over and sitting down next to Malfoy. ‘I really need to hang out with women more often,’ she thought to herself.

The fact that she had sat directly next to Malfoy when there were plenty of other choice seats available in the spacious flat was not lost on the three young men. Draco smiled to himself, Harry became even more wary of what the hell was going on, and Ron became even more confused.

“Well,” Hermione said, breaking the silence. “Well, I guess I should start from last night.”

“Yes that would be a good place to start,” Ron said leaning forward slightly.

“Well, I had-“ Hermione began, but was instantly cut off by the loud popping noise and sudden appearance of another man in her flat.

Ron suddenly grinned widely as he saw Remus Lupin turn around to look at all of them. Now things would get sorted out. Now the problem of Malfoy would be resolved. Unfortunately for Ron, things did not go as he planned.

“Hello all,” Lupin said happily. “And how are we all doing to-“his words cut off as he caught sight of Draco Malfoy sitting comfortably next to Hermione, a sandwich frozen halfway to his mouth. For a moment he was caught completely off guard as he took in the tension of the room and the relieved looks of Harry and Ron at his sudden appearance.

“What is this, a friggen open house today?” Hermione asked the ceiling.

“Sorry to intrude Hermione, but after last night I thought a conversation was in order. And boy am I glad I came when I did,” Remus said, a small smile fighting to break onto his face. He walked forward till he was by the couches and looked directly at Draco. “Well Draco, I must say I didn’t think you would make up your mind that quickly,” Remus said. Harry and Ron’s mouths dropped.

Draco smiled and put his half eaten sandwich on the small table next to the couch. “Yeah well I figured why wait,” he said noticing the almost painful expression of surprise on the other boy’s faces. He noted that Hermione didn’t seem the least bit surprised at the obvious familiarity between the two wizards. She really was a clever one.

“Glad you came round,” Remus said and suddenly Draco remembered the attack.

“Yeah well so am I,” his voice suddenly changing to a serious tone. He leaned forward and said to Remus, “Someone was here waiting when I apparated last night.”

Remus stiffened. “Waiting for you? But how could they have known you were coming here? I mean I had just seen you hours before and didn’t know what you were planning.”

Draco looked carefully at Hermione, but addressed his words to Remus. “Not waiting for me Remus. Waiting for her.” Draco watched as her eyes grew wide and her breath caught in her throat.

“For her?” Remus asked quietly, suddenly sitting down in the chair behind him. “But that means...” Remus let his words trail off as his eyes also widened in shock.

Suddenly there was another popping noise and Fred Weasley appeared in the middle of the living room. “Well what do we have here?” Fred asked, obviously highly amused by the situation around him.

“Oh bloody hell!” Hermione shouted before getting up, going into her kitchen and opening a bottle of her cooking sherry. It wasn’t strong but maybe it was strong enough to make her forget this afternoon.

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A/N: God knows that was probably one of the hardest chapters to write! The next one will be even harder, because that will involve a lot of secrets coming to light. After that, it will be back to Draco and Hermione. Ahh, be patient with me. I do hope I was able to not disappoint anyone with the above chapter!

Love, Ally

“The struggle, for those who survived The Day, was to survive the next.” –Alas, Babylon, by Pat Frank

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Chapter 10: Pity
Summary: Revelations and decisions

A/N: Okay people, this chapter was very tricky to write. I had to reveal a few things, but I think in doing so I only created more questions. This is longer then most chapters because I had to fit so much stuff in before I could move forward, and well, I hope I pulled it off. I also want to thank everyone who read the other story I posted. I know it was dark, and somewhat different from this one, but I totally loved writing it!

Also Kou Shun’u asked if Fred and George were fully informed about Draco. Well, no they aren’t, but as you will see below, Fred is just very observative and made some connections. He doesn’t know exactly what happened, but he has a general idea.

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The sherry hadn’t worked. She hadn’t really believed that it would, but thought if she wished hard enough...She shook her head to clear her thoughts. She knew she was just being childish and running away from a sticky situation. But things at the moment were so confusing, so electrically charged, that she half expected Voldermort himself to come charging into her room next, followed by the Dali Lama. So much had been said but still no one had answered any of her questions, and now she finds out that the reason Draco Malfoy had been left for dead last night is only because someone thought it was her. At this moment Hermione really wished she drank hard liquor.

She stepped back as Fred Weasley entered the kitchen laughing; his eyes alight with amusement. He saw her watching him and gave her a smile. He walked over to the fridge and opened it. “Oh Hermione,” he managed to say between his laughs. “I haven’t seen such drama since two months ago when I went to St. Mungo’s to visit a customer of George and mine that had accidentally, accidentally mind you, taken the wrong sweet to cure his nosebleeds. While there apparently a certain former Professor Lockhart was running loose around the Centre pretending to be a doctor. Explosions could be heard everywhere. But this,” and he turned indicating the shouts coming from her living room, “no this takes the cake my fair Hermione!” He had pulled a carton of milk from the fridge and proceeded to drink it straight from the carton.

“Oh Fred,” was all her tired mind and body would allow her to say as she reached into a cupboard and retrieved a glass. She thrust it towards him, her eyebrow arched. He sheepishly grabbed it and poured the rest of the milk from the carton into the glass before turning and throwing the empty container into the trash bin.

“Sorry,” he said, turning slightly red. The laughter had gone from both his eyes and voice now as he leaned casually against the kitchen sink. He turned his head towards the noise in the living room, his eyes flashing quickly to Hermione, taking in her stressed appearance. “They’re crazy you know, the whole lot of them,” he whispered to her trying to catch her eye. He allowed himself a smile of satisfaction as he heard her try to stifle a small chuckle. “Ah see now, things aren’t that bad. Well granted, from what I gathered through the shouts, that yes things really ARE that bad, and well yes Malfoy was almost killed, and well yes they were actually aiming for YOU, and chances are they will come back, and Harry and Ron are ready to shed blood in your house, and-“

“Fred Weasley, if you say one more thing, I WILL shed blood in my house!” Hermione said, a smile on her lips, her eyes, though wet with tears, shining with amusement at his feeble attempts to cheer her up. “I swear to god Fred, you ever try to make me smile again...” she let the threat go unfinished.

Fred drained the rest of the milk from his glass and placed it into the sink. He stood looking at her silently for a minute. “Listen Hermione, what are you going to do? Things really do seem to be that bad.”

At his words, Hermione became angry again. “Well considering I have no idea what the hell is really going on, or who the hell is actually after me, I haven’t exactly decided on a course of action yet.”

Fred seemed unfazed by her anger. “Yeah well if you want I can beat some answers out of them?” At her look he shrugged, “No? Okay but don’t say I didn’t offer. Don’t worry, as soon as the testosterone in that room dies down a little, they’ll realize they need to illuminate things for everyone. And don’t worry about the furniture. Lupin won’t let anyone draw wands!”

“I should hope not!” Hermione sighed, walking over and leaning against the counter next to Fred. He crossed his arms across his chest and they sat comfortably in each other’s silence for a few minutes, listening to the shouting continue.

“Well, uh, I actually came over today to make sure you hadn’t changed your mind and decided to kill me after our conversation last night,” Fred said nervously, breaking the silence.

“You know, out of that lot, you are the only one who came here to protect his own hide and not see how I was feeling,” Hermione said smiling.

“Yeah, well self-preservation has always been my greatest concern. I don’t need a powerful witch like you after my corpse,” Fred said, feigning seriousness.

“No, Fred. I do not want your corpse. Last night you did something wonderful for me, I can’t really explain why, but thank you all the same,” Hermione said, turning to look up at Fred. His face was scrunched up in concentration and he was chewing slightly on his bottom lip.

“A bit of a coincidence though eh? Him showing up like that just after we had talked about him?” he said peering towards the living room.

“Yes. Too many coincidences for my liking this past week, too many,” Hermione said quietly.

“Are you going to tell him about the dagger?” Fred asked, turning his head back to Hermione.

“No, no I don’t think so. I don’t honestly even know how long he’ll be sticking around,” she said wistfully.

Fred did not fail to notice the tone in her voice. ‘So the tide flows that way does it?’ Fred mused to himself. Out loud he said, “Yeah well if you do tell him, leave my name out of it okay? I don’t want a mad Hermione Granger after me, and I certainly do not need a mad Malfoy after me.”

Hermione put her hand on his and met his eyes, “Don’t worry Fred, your secret is safe with me.”

“What secret?” Ron’s voice from the kitchen door interrupted them.

“Oh, just the secret ingredient to my Ton-Tongue Toffees,” Fred replied, recovering quickly. The shouting in the living room had finally stopped it would seem. Fred moved away from the counter and approached his younger brother. “You ladies done gossiping in there?”

“Shut-it Fred,” Ron said tiredly. “You alright Hermione? Noticed you disappeared.”

“Yeah well if you lads are done arguing maybe someone will tell me what the hell is going on,” Hermione said rougher then she intended as she pushed her way past Fred and Ron and out of the kitchen.

Fred looked at his brother and raised his eyebrows. “Women,” they both muttered together before turning back towards the living room.

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“Well?” Hermione asked the now quiet domain of her living room. She had reappeared from the kitchen a moment ago, retaken her seat next to Malfoy, waited for Fred and Ron to return, and had then proceeded to dive right in.

Malfoy looked across to Harry, his eyes burning. Remus sat back in his chair looking quite harassed. Ron and Fred had sat down next to Harry. “Well?” she asked again. “Was anything achieved with all that shouting?

“Yeah well, kinda,” Harry mumbled, still glaring at Malfoy.

Hermione let her eyes slide to the man sitting tensely next to her. She noticed he looked even more drained then before and noticed he had not finished his sandwich. Surprising all of them, she suddenly let out a tiny shriek of annoyance. “I swear to god, men are helpless. If there were no women around to help you lot out, you’d all die.” Had Hermione been in a better mood, their blank looks would have amused her; as it happened, she was not in a better mood. “I swear Draco Malfoy, if you keel over from exhaustion and hunger I will not help you again!” her eyes were on fire as they burned into his.

“What?” Draco squeaked out looking pleadingly at the other men in the room for some sign of help.

“I did not make you this sandwich just so you could toss it aside! I had to use some powerful healing spells last night to save your LIFE, and as any half-wit with a brain knows, that drains not only the spell caster, but also the person who receives the spell. So you will finish this right now, or pass out and then see who helps you!” She held the plate with his half-eaten sandwich menacingly before. He was momentarily dumbfounded as to what to do. This was not what he had been expecting at all, and from the looks on the others faces neither had they.

“Take it man, quickly,” Remus whispered to him from somewhere off to his right.

He reached out a hand slowly to take the plate from Hermione, his eyes on hers the entire time. His finger brushed hers as he took the plate from her and he noticed a shiver run threw her body. The fire in her eyes sparked once and the anger seemed to drain from her face. She looked down at him curiously before turning back too her friends. “Answers now,” she ordered.

“Yes,” Remus said while clearing his throat and taking charge. “Yes well, last night I happened to run into Draco here at a pub-“

“Yeah likely story,” Ron said behind a cough to his brother.

“Okay, so I didn’t run into him, I was looking for him, and well obviously I found him,” Remus said glaring at Ron. “Anyway, I felt obligated to let him know that Hermione here had seen him on a muggle train last week and that now the wizarding world knew he was indeed alive. I left him there after informing him, and returned to the Burrow as you all know.”

“Oh yes, I think we all remember that,” Fred said dreamily, pretending to drool over the memory of a half-naked Lupin being chased by his mum.

“Yes well,” Remus blushed, “Well apparently Draco here, decided to come out of hiding since every knew he was alive again. From what he tells me, he apparated here only to be attacked by a dark wizard.”

“How does he know the wizard was a dark one?” Harry asked viscously, his eyes boring holes into Draco’s head. His words left no question as to what he was insinuating: if Draco knew it was a dark wizard, then perhaps he had set this whole thing up as a trap. Draco read it all in his eyes.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you Potter? Me trying to trap you all, you capturing me and being a hero once again? Well sorry to burst your bubble, but I don’t know who it was that attacked me,” he said around bites of his sandwich. “I know it was a dark wizard because of the spell he cast at me. Not many wizards know it, and the ones that do, well the generally tend to be evil.”

“Must be why you know it,” Harry spat out at him.

“Yes well regardless of Draco’s less then healthy knowledge of dark spells, the fact remains that a wizard was here last night waiting for Ms. Granger. No one could have possibly known Draco was coming here, I doubt he knew himself, before he apparated. So that leaves only one possibility,” Remus said.

“Whoever it was, was waiting to kill me,” Hermione said. She had remained silent so far, not wanting to interrupt the flow of information she was finally receiving.

“Yes,” Remus nodded.

“Why?” she asked.

“Well uh, as for that,” Remus said nervously, clearing his throat and looking at Draco

Draco shot a meaningful look at Remus and said, “You have long been Voldermort’s obsession Hermione, right from the beginning. Oh he wants Potter dead all right, though I can’t really argue with him there,” Draco said lightly, causing Fred to laugh.

“What?” Fred said innocently at the looks shot his way.

“Yeah well, it isn’t exactly breaking news that Voldermort wants Hermione dead now is it Malfoy?” Ron said, leaning forward slightly. “He came for her in fifth year remember?” Draco felt Hermione tense on the couch next to her at Weasley’s words. “He failed then, we just have to make sure he fails now.”

“He didn’t exactly fail then Ron,” Fred whispered.

Draco turned to Hermione, his eyes watching her carefully. Harry and Ron were looking at Fred curiously. But Draco didn’t care; he was watching the emotions run across Hermione’s face. She was staring back at him, both of them remembering the day he had put the dagger to her throat. Suddenly Draco Malfoy realized something. “They took her didn’t they?” he asked the others, but continued looking at Hermione.

“Well yeah, but we got her back dead quick,” Ron said matter-of-factly. He was very confused by the sudden change in the room. Harry, too, was confused by everything. Remus and Fred were looking sadly at Hermione, while Malfoy and Hermione just stared at each other. Sadness and pain on her face; realization and understanding on his.

“You got her back, but not quick enough I’d dare say?” Draco asked, his voice begging them to answer him.

“No, not nearly quick enough,” Hermione said, her voice thick with venom.

“What are you talking about Hermione?” Ron asked, his face etched with worry.

“You were fine,” Harry stated, though it sounded as though he was trying to convince himself that she had indeed been fine.

But Malfoy didn’t care about any of this. He was suddenly making connections in his head and before he could think about what he was doing he said, “That’s why, that day with the dagger, that’s why you didn’t run.” He didn’t notice Fred look up sharply at the word dagger, nor the look that crossed his face. He didn’t notice the questioning look that Harry and Ron shot Remus, nor the shrug he gave them. All he noticed were her eyes.

After a few moments of silence she finally answered him. “Yes,” and as she answered her eyes fell from his. Draco sat back into the couch, his mind suddenly reeling. He knew now what had happened to her; there was no need for it to be spelled out for him. He hadn’t grown up in Malfoy Manor all those years without seeing what happened to those Voldermort wanted captured. Oh yes, they had rescued her, they had saved her from certain death at the Dark Lord’s hands, but they hadn’t been in time to save her innocence. They had saved her body that day, but not her soul. The very thing that had made Hermione, Hermione, had died that day.

Draco suddenly understood the darkness that had surrounded her after that day. He understood why she had begged him with her eyes to finish her off. He had put it down to the war brewing around her, but he had been wrong. The day he had tried to take her life, he had seen the truth in her eyes, but he had fled from it. Today, he once again saw the truth, but this time, this time he would not run.

Apparently, Draco was not the only person of some intelligence in that room, for the look of realization, was slowly blossoming on Harry and Ron’s faces. Fred, for his part, had figured some of this out ages ago, but it did not prepare him for being hit with the facts head on, and he leaned back slowly in his chair, his thoughts racing around what new significance the dagger he had found so long ago, had suddenly taken. Remus, for all that he knew what had transpired, sat quietly watching the scene unfold before him.

“They hurt you,” Harry stated, his eyes colder then ever before. “They touched you.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell us Hermione?” Ron asked, his eyes pleading for some explanation.

Hermione, looking smaller then ever, took a long breath to calm herself down. “Look, boys, it happened almost four years ago. We were young and reckless and I was afraid if you knew...well, I didn’t want you two doing anything stupid. Besides it was easier for me to ignore the whole thing, the less I thought about it, the more I could imagine it didn’t happen.” Slowly her whole demeanor began to change. It had happened all those years ago, and she was a lot more helpless then, then she was now. Her back straightened slightly and the deep sadness fled from her eyes.

“Damn Gryffindor courage,” Draco whispered next to her so only she could hear. His voice was void of pity and shame. That was one of the reasons she supposed she was drawn to him. He would never pity her; he knew she didn’t need it.

“Look we can all have a nice long talk about this later. Right now, we have to deal with the present,” Hermione said firmly. The atmosphere in the room instantly changed. Harry and Ron, though not yet satisfied with the explanation they had just received regarding the shocking news, knew better then to argue with Hermione’s determination. The looked once at each other, then momentarily let the subject go. Fred stood up and disappeared into the kitchen.

Remus, deciding this was probably the single most stressful day he had ever experienced leaned forward and said, “Hermione’s right. The fact is that they want you dead. We will not allow that.”

Hermione sighed wearily and stole a look at Malfoy. It was extremely surreal, his presence here. She still had no idea why he was here? But part of her was glad he was. Out of everyone in this room, he treated her as his equal in everything. She could not explain it, but- suddenly her thoughts were cut off. Wait, why was he here? She sat up so suddenly that all conversation stopped and they turned to watch her. She sat staring at Malfoy and he squirmed slightly under her gaze. “Why are you here?” she asked. “I mean why did you apparate here, out of everywhere in the wizarding world, why did you come to my flat? And how did you even know where I lived?”

Draco looked as though he were a deer caught in headlights. He was frozen to the spot by her sudden questions, questions he was hoping to avoid for as long as possible. He saw the stubborn, set look in her eyes and he knew then, that if he didn’t turn away from her, he would tell her everything. Everything he had done for her; the people he had killed, for her; the fact that she was his one weakness. His breathing was becoming audibly louder and he mustered all his strength and was finally able to rip his gaze from hers. His eyes found Remus’ and held them, not knowing what else to do.

The room was in complete silence. Fred had returned with a carton of orange juice, which had frozen halfway to his mouth when Hermione had come out with her questions. Moments passed by, but for Draco it felt like hours. He could feel her eyes on him; he could feel all of their eyes on him.

Finally Remus sighed, breaking the silence. “You should tell her Draco.” Draco widened his eyes slightly but still did not say anything. Remus shook his head and said softly, “It would make everything so much easier if she knew, if they all knew.”

“I don’t need her pity,” Draco spat at him.

“Draco...” Remus began but stopped at the look in the young man’s eyes. It was not his story to tell and if the boy wished not to tell it, then Remus would respect that decision. He wouldn’t like it, but he would respect it. He knew that eventually Hermione would find out about Lucius, about everything that had happened; he knew they all would know eventually. But apparently today would once again not be that way.

“The last thing I want from her is her pity,” Draco said. He suddenly stood up and left the room without a backward glance. The sound of Hermione’s bedroom door slamming echoed through her flat.

“Well now, isn’t he just a chipper one,” Fred said, though his voice held no amusement.

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Draco was pacing Hermione’s bedroom, his mind reeling. He hadn’t even been back in her life for twenty-four hours and already he felt as though his head would explode. He had known she had been taken, hell the whole school had known, but he had always assumed they had got her out before the Death-Eater’s could begin their menu of torture. How could he have been so stupid to not realize what they had done to her when he had seen her look at him the way she had so very long ago?

A stray thought began to fight its way through his muddled mind. Could it have been possible that his father had been one of the ones to take her? He suddenly started laughing to himself. Oh the depths of his stupidity were really quite astounding. Of course his father had had a part in it. Now, more then ever, Draco relished the fact that he had killed his own flesh and blood. His thoughts were interrupted by a slight knock on the door. Before he could say a thing the door opened slightly and Hermione slipped into the room.

“I love how you are just making yourself at home here,” she said sarcastically, referring to his very eloquent exit from her living room into her bedroom.

“Well, I figure, I’ve already slept in your bed, can’t feel anymore at home then that,” he replied mischievously, walking towards her and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. He was rewarded with a genuine smile, a small one, but a real one none-the-less.

“Draco Malfoy, you best watch your tone, I would hate to hex you into oblivion,” she playfully said brushing past him and settling herself on the edge of her bed. She took a deep breath. “It amazes me how easy it is to get along with you sometimes. Mind you, half the time I just want to grab you by the throat and choke you until I get all the answers from you I need. But the other half, the other half of the time I could just sit and talk with you for hours. I barely know you, yet, lord,” she suddenly exclaimed throwing her body roughly on the bed behind her.

She was tired and angry, her hair splayed wildly around her, her body slim and tense, and her eyes closed as though she could ignore the sudden turn her life was taking. To Draco Malfoy, she had never looked more beautiful. Taking a chance, he cautiously sat down on the bed next to her, his eyes focused on the door across from him. “Was my father there?” he asked quite suddenly.

She was not surprised that he had asked that; she had been expecting it. She opened her eyes slightly and saw his back in front of her. His black shirt was torn in several places from where glass had been forced into his back. His hair was still a bit wet from his shower. She realized she liked him better without all that gel he used to wear in it. “Yes, he was there,” she finally answered him. She watched the effect her words had on him. His back and shoulders tensed up slightly and his head fell to his chest. She could not see his face, but she imagined the look she would find there.

“I’m sorry,” Draco whispered in a rough voice.

“Don’t be daft. You weren’t there; you did nothing to harm me that day. You have nothing to be sorry about. Your father and his cronies had there fun, but you are not him. Besides, he is dead now Malfoy, he doesn’t rule anyone’s life anymore,” she said softly, reaching up with her hand to stroke his back slightly.

He turned towards her suddenly, his eyes a mixture of emotions, emotions Draco didn’t understand. He looked down at her tiny, strong body. He felt her hand on his back; almost burning a hole through him it felt so hot. Her eyes were staring heavily into his, without pity. Before him lay a young woman who had been hurt in horrible ways by his own father, yet amazingly she was not afraid to touch him. His heart was threatening to break out of his chest any moment. Without thinking he leaned over and brought his face above hers. Her eyes widened slightly but she didn’t move. He moved his lips forward and gently kissed her forehead.

He pulled away slightly, so he could see her eyes. “Thank you,” he whispered, his breath brushing her face softly.

She lay there frozen beneath his gaze, the spot where he had kissed her head burning a line right into the pit of her stomach. She looked at the tortured man before her and was not afraid. “For what?” she asked softly.

“For not hating me,” he replied. He still had so much to tell her about, so much to warn her about, but he realized he was purposely stopping himself from telling her everything. He had been the reason she had been in pain enough times in the past, he didn’t want to do that to her again. He was stalling and he knew it. He wanted to keep her safe from the truth for as long as he could. He couldn’t give her back her innocence, but he could give her peace, if only for a little while.

“I used to hate you,” she said smiling softly at the look on his face.

“When did you stop?” he asked her curiously. A strand of his hair had fallen loose from his ear and was now tickling her cheek.

“The day you figured out blood didn’t matter. The day I figured out you wouldn’t ever hurt me,” she said hesitantly. His eyes widened slightly in surprise. How had she known what had run through his mind that day? As if she had heard his thoughts she said, “You never called me mudblood after that day.”

A small smile graced his lips as he stared down at the woman below him. Her hand had slowly slid down his back to rest lightly on the base of his spine during her words. He wanted to touch her then, to show her how he felt, to lose all control, but he couldn’t. He had the blood of monsters on his hands. How could he ever touch her again with them? She saw the conflicting emotions in his eyes and understood. She lifted her head slightly so her cheek rested against his. She wasn’t sure why she was so drawn to him, but at this moment she could do nothing to deny her body’s urge to be close to him.

Suddenly her bedroom door opened. “Hermione, Ron and Fred are going to head back to see Mrs. Weasley and send an owl to Dumbl-“ Harry froze as he took in the scene before him. “Eh, sorry, should have knocked. Um yeah so, when you’re done in here we have to talk about where we’re going to hide you.” And with that he turned and slammed the door behind him.

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Harry entered the kitchen to find Remus rummaging for some food. Harry continued staring at Remus, his mind trying to process what he had just witnessed, his mind racing to process everything that had happened the past few years. Remus, feeling Harry staring at him, turned towards the young man.

“He loves her, doesn’t he?” Harry quietly asked Remus.

Remus paused for only a moment before deciding he would not lie to Harry. “He does.”

Harry winced slightly, his eyes darkening. “Would he die for her?” he asked.

“Yes,” Remus asked without hesitating.

Harry processed this piece of information, his mind moving slowly, but with purpose through past memories, past conversations. Remus watched the young wizard quietly, knowing what his next question would be.

Harry’s mind stopped and his body froze. His eyes traveled back to Remus’. “He killed for her, didn’t he?”

Remus smiled sadly and nodded, noting the pain in Harry’s eyes. Harry turned away from him and gripped the counter, his knuckles going white. “Does she know?” Harry asked almost painfully.

“No Harry,” Remus said shaking his head. “No, she doesn’t.”

Harry breathed in deeply for a moment, slowly bringing his head up. He then turned, walked past Remus and into the living room where Remus heard the sound of Harry apparating.

“He loves her you know,” Fred’s voice came from suddenly behind him. Remus turned and saw the tall redhead leaning casually against the wall eating from a box of Berti Bott’s Every Flavour Beans.

“I thought you left with Ron. How long have you been standing there?” Remus asked sharply.

“Long enough,” Fred replied just as sharply, his eyes losing all mirth as they stared Remus down. Seeing the intense look in Fred’s eyes, Remus backed down. He closed his eyes and let out a tired sigh.

Don’t worry, I didn’t hear anything I hadn’t already worked out for myself,” Fred said quietly. “But I meant what I said before about Harry. He loves her,” he said pointing to Hermione’s room. Remus looked at him with surprise in his eyes.

“You never knew?” Fred asked, the disbelief evident in his tone.

“No, I hadn’t. I-“ Remus began but then paused. Things were becoming very clear to him. He slowly approached the couch and let his slender frame fall slowly onto it.

“Yeah well,” Fred began as he walked over and took the seat opposite of Remus, “he does. Has since way back. I notice these things, see? He loves her. He resigned himself to the fact that she would never return that love a long time ago.” Fred threw another bean in his mouth and grimaced slightly before saying, “Paint. Ew. Anyway. He knew she would never love him back, but I don’t really think he was prepared to deal with her falling in love with Malfoy.”

Here Remus’ eyebrows raised slightly, “And do you really think that is what is happening Fred?”

Fred took a minute to study the ragged appearance of the man before him. “I do. She doesn’t know it, and will fight herself about it, but I honestly think whether we want him to or not, that Draco Malfoy isn’t going anywhere for a while.”

It was Remus’ turn to study the young man before him. He had always known Fred and George had brains. They couldn’t come up with half the things they made for their shop if they didn’t, but he had never thought of either one of the as cunning. “There is more to you then meets the eye Mr. Weasley,” Remus said, making a note to keep an eye on this young one.

“Yeah well there usually is with everyone,” Fred said seriously. “So what now?”

“Now we get her out of here,” came Malfoy’s voice from the kitchen doorway. Hermione stood next to him looking carefully between Fred and Remus as if wondering what these two could possibly have been talking about so seriously.

A sudden popping noise brought their attention to the centre of the living room where a man dressed completely in black had suddenly appeared. “Oh Merlin,” Remus said out loud. The man turned and regarded his with a scathing look before locking his eyes back onto Draco.

“What are you doing here Snape?” Remus growled out.

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A/N: Oh my god, finally done! Ah, that was the hardest thing ever to write! I so hope I did not overload everyone, or bore them to tears! It was a necessary chapter that I was dreading, but now we can move on to more action. Yay! Well I do hope no one was terribly disappointed! And do not worry, this will not turn into a Love Triangle between Harry, Hermione, and Draco!

Love, Ally

“If you love me, got to know for sure. Cause it takes something more this time, then sweet sweet lies, before I open up my arms and fall, losing all control.” -This Year’s Love, David Gray

Draco/Hermione fic: A Reason chapters 7&8

2005-12-06T22:14:17Z

A Reason update

Chapters 7&8

Title: The Winter Here Is Cold
Author: Hafthand (Ally)
Disclaimer: Property of J.K. Rowling
Summary: How did Draco end up bloody and unconscious in Hermione’s flat?

A/N: Well another update, another chapter! Thank you all for your great reviews. This next chapter is a tricky one, so I hope you like.!!

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He had been walking for a while in the rain now, the constant wet pounding nothing more then a slight disturbance. The dirty, long road that lay before him nothing more then a path he was barley aware of. His mind was a million miles away fighting a battle he was both winning and losing. When he had left the pub, he had made up his mind about where to go. The only thing left now was to just get it over with.

Part of him decided to blame the consumption of way too much alcohol. ‘Yes,’ he thought, ‘the alcohol.’ He was slightly drunk and the thought that he was a wizard and could easily have apparated to his destination was sliding in and out of his mind. If he could convince himself that he didn’t have the ability to pop in and out of a place then maybe he could just walk this road a little longer. Maybe he could come up with an alternative to the plan he had laid out.

Shaking his hood covered head, he sighed and focused again on the country road before him. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if he was walking the right way! “Just a little longer,” he whispered to the cold night. He needed just a little longer to work some of that alcohol out of his system. He just couldn’t show up drunk. Imagine the impression that would make. So he allowed his feet to carry him further into the black country around him as he let his mind carry him backwards. Tonight seemed like a night of remembering. Whether Draco Malfoy wanted to or not, something in the air this night kept forcing his mind back.

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He sat staring at her, completely unaware of anything around him. He watched the light play off her frizzy, yet shiny hair. He saw her bite down on the tip of the pencil in her hand, her forehead creased slightly in concentration. What he wouldn’t give to be able to know her thoughts at this exact moment. It seemed to him that it had been a long time since he had talked to her, and parts of him that weren’t supposed to exist were craving contact.

He managed to rip his eyes from her slender form and focus once more on the book in front of him. He continued to read about some potion he already knew how to make when he felt someone’s eyes upon him. Unconsciously holding his breath he turned ever so slightly towards her and let out his breath again in disappointment when he saw it wasn’t her. He let his eyes flow over the room, almost as a hunter searching for his prey does. Suddenly his eyes locked onto someone else’s. Malfoy froze.

He watched as Snape stared at him quizzically before turning to stare at Granger, then back to him. Had Snape caught him staring at her? Malfoy’s mind raced for a million possible excuses if Snape questioned him. He knew Snape was a Deatheater and the last thing he needed was for his father to find out things Malfoy had gone through great pains to hide.

“Mr. Malfoy, see me after class,” Snape barked out harshly. Malfoy nodded before lowering his head to his desk. He could feel the eyes of the entire class on him now. He looked up and instantly met her gaze. She had forgotten whatever lay in front of her and kept staring at him. He could see the mixture of emotions running through her eyes. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Snape still staring at him along with some of his fellow classmates. He told himself to drop his eyes, to look away from her fiery gaze, but he couldn’t back down. She wasn’t looking away, and so neither was he. He would not surrender to her in this, no matter how sweet it would be.

He saw her notice Snape’s attentions and thought that she would finally look away, but once again Hermione Granger surprised him. Instead of looking away she did something completely unexpected. She closed her book, placed it carefully in her bag, which she threw over her shoulder, and then stood up.

“Yes, Miss Granger? Can I help you with something?” Snape asked viciously. But she ignored him and started walking towards Malfoy. Malfoy could hear Snape’s annoying voice in the distance somewhere but he was too caught up in watching her walk towards him, a look in her eyes that he had only seen once before.

By now the entire class watched as the Head Girl, Miss Perfect, ignored Snape’s threats of detention (or worse) and walked confidently towards the Head Boy. Her eyes were ice, and her body steel. His eyes were on fire, and his body tense in a way only a predator could have. She stopped in front of his table and paused to take him in with one long look. There was nothing sexual behind it, as much as Malfoy would have loved there to be. No, no, this girl was sizing him up as only a hunter does with its prey.

“Malfoy,” she said coldly.

“Granger,” he said softly. He eyebrows rose, as they did every time he used her name and not mudblood. You would think that after almost two years of the absence of the word she would be used to it by now. God, had it been almost two years already since he had fled from her eyes? Had it really been almost two years since things had changed between them?

“Follow me,” she said before turning and walking past Snape and out the door. Draco didn’t hesitate. He picked up his bag, grabbed his book and strolled past a gaping Snape and out of the room. He saw her slight figure ahead of him walking towards the stairs. He followed silently, though he did grimace slightly when he heard Snape screaming the word detention at him from down the hall.

He didn’t allow himself to wonder where she was leading him, or what she could possibly have to say to him. He didn’t allow his mind to think or concentrate on anything other then following her.

After about five minutes he figured she was leading him to the library. As they approached the entrance she paused and looked back at him for the first time since they had left the dungeons. Confirming that he had indeed followed her, she slid into the deserted library and walked through the stacks. She finally stopped in a dark, musty-smelling corner well out of eyesight.

“Well Granger,” he said, finally breaking the silence, “if you wanted to have your wicked way with me, couldn’t you have picked a more comfortable locale?” He leaned casually against the stacks and crossed his arms in front of him. He towered over, he noticed, by a good six or seven inches. She was leaning against the stacks behind her, conveniently cornered in but she didn’t seem to notice. Her eyes were hard and distant.

“Why?” she asked softly. Her whisper startled Malfoy momentarily. He had expected her to shout at him with anger. Her voice clashed with her eyes and he was once again shaken to the core by this strange being. She was so very tiny, so fragile on the outside. But on the inside, she was death, ice, edges, heart, and strength. He suddenly pitied anyone who would ever choose to make her their enemy. They would regret it.

“Why what?” he asked, finally processing what she had asked.

“Before, what you said when we came in here, and in class. You were staring at me Malfoy. I read your eyes. There was no hate. You used my name, not mudblood, and though you made a crude, immature joke when we arrived here, there was no malice in it. There never is anymore. Why?” she asked, her eyes finally losing some of their fierceness. Her voice sounded tired. Hell, she looked tired. She put on such a convincing act around the others, but now, here with him, he could see the toll the past few years was taking on her mind and body.

Without thinking, his hand reached up and he gently held a piece of her hair in between his fingers. To her credit, she didn’t flinch. Even when he stepped closer to her, effectively pushing her body against the books behind her, she didn’t move. She stood waiting. He gently rubbed the hair between his fingers, and felt the warmness of her breath against his chin as he looked down at her. Had anyone come across them they would have thought they had stumbled upon two lovers enjoying a moment away from prying eyes. But that was not the case here.

Though he wanted nothing more then to just run away and slam his lips down onto her soft ones at the same time, he controlled both ends of his body and looked into her eyes. “Do you want that Granger? Do you want me to walk around here calling you my little mudblood, belittling you every chance I get? Do you really want me and my friends” he practically spit out the word, “to drag you through this school like the filth they believe you to be? Or should we throw you in a bag and haul your mudblood ass off to Voldermort and let him deal with you?” His eyes had never left hers and he noticed that she had not flinched once during his little speech. He would have smiled at her bravado had he been capable.

“Yes,” she suddenly whispered. He was taken aback. He let his hand drop from her hair and stumbled back a step, out of her personal space. He looked at her, his face betraying his confusion. He watched her for a moment before she slowly smiled a sad smile. “Yes Malfoy, I wish you would,” she said, a single tear falling slowly down her cheek.

He regained his balance and composure and walked towards her. He put his hands on the stacks behind her on either side of face. He pushed his body into hers trying desperately to control his teenage hormones. He felt her body against his and realized she had not tensed in fear. Her eyes were sad and lonely, but there was no fear. Her breath came out in short, quiet bursts against his chin. He lowered his face towards hers until his nose was touching hers. She didn’t once back down, the lone tear rolling softly down her face.

“And why in God’s name would you want that Hermione?” he whispered sadly, his lips brushing against her face so very slightly as he spoke. His eyes steel and fire. He saw her eyes widen slightly at his use of her first name, but she was quick to rein it in. She shifted her body slightly, causing him to swallow hard. Now would not be the time to let his fantasy’s get the better of him.

“It simple that way,” she said, her lips tickling his face slightly. She could see the question in his eyes and breathed in deeply, her chest pushing against his as she inhaled. It took all of Malfoy’s willpower to not take her right then and there.

“Simple?” he asked.

“Simple,” she replied. “When you hate me, the world makes sense. When you abuse me with your looks and your words, good and evil are clearly defined. When you look at me and all you see is mudblood, I know where I stand. But when you look at me with anything but hate in those eyes of yours Malfoy, that is when everything goes to hell,” she explained quietly, her lips so dangerously close to his.

He was beginning to understand her. He thought back to that day so long ago when he had held a dagger to her throat. He shuddered slightly at the memory and pushed his body harder into hers to steady himself. He moved his head forward slightly till his mouth brushed her ear. “You would like that wouldn’t you Granger? For things to be black and white, good and evil, wrong and right. It would make your world easier to live in wouldn’t it? Well let me tell you something princess, this world is a fucked up place and nothing will ever go the way you want it to,” he said harshly. He paused, his mind spinning at her closeness, at the slight scent of her perfume. Without thinking he leaned his head against hers. His cheek softly resting against hers; his lips still at her ear. He could feel the wet trail her tear had left against her cheek.

“Life is hard Hermione, so get used to it. You chose the crowd you hang out with; you knew what would be expected of you so don’t you dare sit there in self-loathing and pity. This was your choice, your choice to fight. Your choice to live this life, just like it was your choice to die not so long ago.” She gasped at his words.

“What gave you the right to give up huh? Life got a bit hard so you decided to take the coward’s way out?” he whispered harshly in her ear. Her body was unbelievably warm underneath his. He had no control over himself anymore. Words were tumbling out of him without his permission. Her proximity and her questions were slowing driving him mad.

“Wouldn’t that make you happy Malfoy? Wouldn’t that make your life easier? The mudblood gone. Wouldn’t that have made daddy proud?” she asked bitterly. Malfoy’s body stiffened slightly at the mention of his father and he was suddenly overcome with a horrible sense of fear. He pulled his face back slightly till he was looking her in the eye again.

“Granger don’t you ever talk about him. He would kill you in a second if he knew,” he whispered, letting a finger slowly caress the side of her face.

“Knew what?” she asked confused. Malfoy, realizing what he had just said pushed himself away from her gasping for air. She didn’t move, just watched him curiously.

“Damnit Granger!” Malfoy said running his hands roughly through his blonde hair. “Why now, huh? Why now? It’s been two years since I pinned you to that wall. Why are you suddenly so interested in why I didn’t finish the job, why I don’t call you names anymore, why I respect you?”

“It was time to ask,” she said simply, as though clearing up all the questions in his head. “You aren’t what you are supposed to be any more Malfoy. You haven’t been since you tried to kill me; since I almost let you.”

“Yeah, well you haven’t been the same either,” Draco said. He reached down and picked up his bag. Throwing it over his shoulder he turned away from her. Over his shoulder he said, “Listen, what I do, and how I choose to act is my business. Don’t go sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, you’ll just get hurt. And I think you have been hurt enough over the past years Granger. I think you have had just about all you can handle.” He started to walk away and heard her slide down to the floor. When he was clear of the library he once again fled from Hermione Granger. Ignoring the students in the now crowded hallways, Draco Malfoy ran for his life.

What had possessed him to touch her like he had, he never knew. He could still feel the heat of her against him and felt that anyone who looked at him would suspect something. He came to a halt as he suddenly remembered his bizarre exit from potions. If his father got wind of it there would be hell to pay. He had received enough beatings over the past years after his continual failure to dispose of Miss Granger. What would his father say if he knew he had just been having, what for Draco, was a civilized conversation with a mudblood. And not just any mudblood, oh no, the Dark Lord’s own personal favourite mudblood.

Draco wasn’t positive, but he was pretty sure Voldermort’s interest in Granger was not solely observational. Shaking his head slightly, Draco shook off the worry that had been creeping up on him since the summer. As long as Granger was here at Hogwart’s she would be safe.

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Jerking back to the present, Draco laughed bitterly to himself at how foolish and naive he had been. That had been just a few weeks before the Christmas Holidays. A few weeks before his life had changed forever. A few weeks before he had killed his father.

Pushing down his memories quickly, he steadied himself and looked around the wet cold country. Well he had better get this over and done with. He took out his wand and held it at the ready. He knew Granger well enough to know that she wouldn’t hesitate to send a spell the way of a man apparating into her flat without her permission. So just in case, he wanted to be prepared. No sense dying before he got to explain a few things.

Taking a deep breath he apparated. His eyes had half a moment to adjust to the darkness in her flat when he sensed the other person in the room and instinctually flung his body sideways. The spell just grazed him but caught him enough to throw him against the far wall with a force that surprised him. As he fell to the floor he heard the distant popping sound of someone disapparting.

The person must have been waiting for Hermione to arrive, hoping to catch her unawares. ‘Oh, God!’ thought Malfoy, blood rushing out of his mouth. They must have thought they had succeeded in their mission. If he hadn’t of ducked at that precise moment he probably would be dead right now. He knew now what spell had been thrown at him. Not many people would know that spell. But that must mean someone had been sent here to kill her. ‘Fuck,’ he thought. He suddenly had a moment of perfect clarity where everything made sense. As he passed out in a pool of his own blood, he had one thought. ‘I have to warn Hermione.’

Love, Ally

“The winter here is cold and bitter, it chilled us to the bone, we haven’t seen the sun for weeks, too long too far from home. I feel just like I am sinking, and I claw for solid ground, I am pulled down by the undertow, I never thought I would feel so low, and oh darkness I feel like letting go.” –Full of Grace, Sarah McLaughlin (yeah I know I spelt it wrong)

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Chapter 8: Don’t Let The Fire Rush To Your Head
Author: Hafthand (Ally)
Summary: Draco wakes up.

A/N: This chapter came easier then I thought, and I am pretty happy with it. I hope you all like it. And here I thought that the first chapter was only going to be a one-off! You people and your reviews!! Ah, they make me write! Evil you all are! Lol. Seriously, you reviewers are excellent, especially my loyal ones, as I like to call you. I can always count on an honest review from yous! I love you all! On with the story!

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She stared around her allowing her eyes to leave Draco’s beaten body. There was glass everywhere from where it looked as though he had been thrown into a framed picture of the Hogwart’s grounds that had been hanging on her wall. Her furniture was slightly moved and it looked as though someone had been going through her drawers. She looked down quizzically at Malfoy. Had he been going through her stuff? Perhaps, but that didn’t explain why he was in such terrible shape. Had he stumbled across someone going through her flat? If so, why had he come to her flat in the first place?

“Ahh, once again too many damned questions and not enough answers,” she growled out. Bringing her attention back to Malfoy, she magically lit the lamps around her and gasped at the actual sight of him. She kneeled down and tentatively put her fingers against his bloody throat searching for a pulse. She found one, much to her relief, and sighed. What to do?

Gathering the wrapped dagger that Fred had just given her, she stood up and walked to the kitchen, carefully placing it in a drawer. Gathering some cloth and filling a bowl of warm water, she then returned to Malfoy’s side. She took a moment to stare at him. Underneath the blood he looked different then he had only a week ago. His face looked tired and worn. What had happened to him this past week, she wondered. Hell what had happened to him these past two years? She considered letting someone know that a very beat up Draco Malfoy was currently lying on her living room floor but thought better of it. She wanted some answers from this man, and when he woke up, answers she would get.

Taking a deep breath and pointing her wand at him, she muttered, “Wingardeom Leviosa.” Draco’s body magically lifted in the air, blood dripping from his body to the floor. “Shit,” she said, he was a bit more hurt then she had originally thought. She floated his body gently towards her room with the only bed in the house. The blood would stain her sheets, but she had never liked them anyway. Gently she lowered him to her bed and set the bowl of water on her nightstand.

She glanced down at his broken body and for a moment smiled slightly to herself. She had always secretly wondered what lay underneath Draco Malfoy’s robes. The closest she had ever been to him had been that day in the library. She had finally had enough and the time had come for her to confront him. She had never expected him to act the way he had. She had been pushed into every inch of his hard body and being a seventeen-year-old girl, she couldn’t help but wonder what lay beneath the garments.

“Well Hermione,” she sighed to herself. “Looks like you finally get your chance to find out.” She considered removing his clothes with magic, but she didn’t know how his wounds would be affected. She had no idea how deep they were and didn’t want to risk him losing more blood. She leaned over him and worked the buttons of his already torn shirt. She slowly peeled back the already blood soaked garment and gasped. On his right side was a gaping hole about six inches long. Whatever had hit him had certainly damaged him.

Finally realizing the danger he was actually in, Hermione made quick work with the rest of his clothes. She smiled slightly at the sight of his silk green boxers, but quickly brought her attention back to his wound. She made quick work of cleaning the blood from it, not wanting to aggravate it more. She washed his face of its dirt and put the bloody cloth back into the bowl of water. Grabbing her wand she pointed at him and muttered a few quick healing spells. His wounds closed and his bruises faded, but she was in no doubt that he would be in pain when he woke up, whenever that would be.

Gathering his wet and dirty clothes she went to the kitchen to throw them in the washing machine. Grabbing a blanket from the coach in the living room she muttered another quick spell to clean of the mess that Draco had left behind him. When he woke up, she wanted to know exactly what had happened. Turning off the lights she went back to her room. She saw the shallow rise and fall of his chest, and noticed how pale his face was. She hoped she had done enough for him, she wasn’t a doctor but she was confident in her abilities.

She grabbed the soft, sturdy chair from the corner of her room and brought it to the side of her bed. When he woke up she wanted to be there. She wasn’t going to give him an opportunity to escape. She had finally caught him and she was going to make sure she didn’t let him go until she was done with him. Try as she might to fight off sleep, the night finally took its toll on her and she passed into a deep and dreamless sleep.

She woke up to see a pair of grey eyes staring at her with intensity. For a moment she wondered what could make someone’s eyes so sad and then the previous night’s events came crashing down. She hurriedly sat up throwing her blanket to the floor. “Malfoy!” she practically shrieked.

A smile that didn’t reach his eyes crept to his lips. “Granger!” he mimicked.

She paused for a moment and then let it all out. “What the hell are you doing here? What the fuck happened to you last night? Where have you been for the past two years? I saw you on the train the other day you know that? We all thought you were dead. What the hell is going on!” she screamed. Taking deep breaths to regain her composure, Malfoy just sat watching her.

“Feel better?” he asked he quietly, still lying back on her bed.

“Believe it or not, yes,” she answered. Suddenly she laughed and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. “God that felt good getting that out. Somehow I always pictured that seeing you again would be some big dramatic thing. But now that you’re here and I have just asked you like a million questions it feels kind of silly you know,” she said shyly. “What happened to you?” she asked, absentmindedly reaching forward to touch his chest where a six-inch scar tenderly sat.

He gasped at her touch, though not from pain. He slowly sat up, the blanket pooling around his waist, and ignored the pain in his body as he leaned back against the headboard. “I apparated into your flat last night, only I wasn’t the only one here. Someone attacked me, threw a pretty dark curse at me, but luckily I moved in time. It just grazed me.”

Her mouth dropped open slightly, “Just grazed you? Hell, Malfoy I would hate to see what it would have done to you full on. You gave me quite a shock last night. You were pretty beat up.” She took in his appearance and realized he wasn’t as pale as the night before. She suddenly had the urge to brush his hair away from his eyes but quickly pushed the silly thought away.

He sat there in the silence, his breath harsh and quick from the pain his body was in. He saw her staring at him, her eyes clouded and dark. She was staring at him and remembering everything; all the pain he had caused her, all the questions left unanswered. He knew he had things to tell her, but now that he was this close to her, he decided that the answers could wait, just a little longer.

“Why are you here?” she asked him softly.

“Do I need a reason?” he asked, a spark of the old Malfoy suddenly flaring in his eyes.

“You never did before,” she said quietly.

“Simple. It was time,” he said.

“Harry and Ron think you are a danger to me,” she said somewhat shyly.

“I have heard their accusations a million times Hermione. You have taken lots of chances before, you are taking one now, keeping me here. You have no idea who I am and what I have done, yet you know me better then anyone else. You know I would never hurt you,” he said, putting a finger under her chin and lifting it up so she was forced to look at him.

“I have barely had more than a few real conversations with you Malfoy, how can you say I know you better then anyone else?” she asked, his finger under her chin burning her skin in a surprising way. His hair had fallen into his stormy eyes, and as he gazed at her with them, she felt her breathing quicken. He let his finger trail down from her chin to her neck where he gently placed the rest of his hand. He could feel the rapid beating of her pulse and he allowed himself a small smile. It had been so long since he had been able to look at her, just really look at her. Her beauty had not diminished, but had increased giving her a subtle charm. Her hair was still wild, but a bit more tamed. He resisted the urge to find out if it was as soft as it looked.

Hermione found herself blushing hotly under his scrutiny. She didn’t know why he had this effect on her. When she was younger, she had put it down to physical attraction. She had never dreamed of Malfoy but she wasn’t blind. He was then and still was a very attractive man. What she couldn’t explain was the shiver that ran through her the few times he had touched her. Harry was very attractive, but she did not blush when he touched her, she did not feel as though the temperature in the room had been raised by ten degrees when she was near him, she did not feel her breathing quicken under his gaze. No, Draco Malfoy always affected her differently. She had always been too afraid to dwell on why that could be, but now, under his gaze, his fingers on her body, his naked chest a few inches from her, she couldn’t ignore her body’s response to him.

“We are so very different from each other,” Draco said, interrupting her thoughts. His voice was a deep whisper. “So different, yet I don’t think I have ever met any one so like me. We have always been matched with each other. You were my opposite in everything. I a pureblood, you a mudblood. I had no family life to speak of, you have loving parents. You have true and loyal friends; I have only ever been surrounded by those after an association with my family name. I was destined for the dark, and you for the light. We were both made Heads of our year more for our differences, then our similarities. But it was those differences that made me realize how alike we actually were,” he said quietly.

She realized suddenly that he was right, and knew that on some level she had always known as well. He was her exact opposite, and therefore her equal. She let out a small sigh and felt his hand drop slightly from her throat to caress the base of her neck. She felt her eyes close without her permission as he sat up and slid closer to her. She could sense his face directly in front of hers and felt his breath. Her stomach dropped and she felt her head spinning slightly at his proximity. What was happening here? She had a million things she had to ask him, but at this moment all she could think about was his hand on her neck.

Draco sat before her studying her face. Her eyes were shut lightly and she swayed slightly as though dizzy. He had never thought he would ever be able to see her again. Even in the best times, he knew he would never be able to touch her again. But here he sat in her bed, his hand against her flesh, his face so close to hers. Draco found it difficult to concentrate and the world around him dimmed slightly, her face the only thing in focus. He could tell he was affecting her in a way he had only dreamed of. He could feel her pulse pounding against his hand, he could hear her shallow breath, he could see her fighting to stay focused.

She suddenly opened her eyes and met his gaze. He sucked in a breath at the intensity behind them. His head moved forward slightly until his forehead rested against hers, his nose brushing the side of hers. He closed his eyes and tried unsuccessfully to stifle a slight moan. Her mere presence was causing his body to react in a way it hadn’t for a very long time.

Her eyes widened at his slight moan. Thinking he had perhaps hurt himself, she asked quietly, “Are you okay?”

He laughed slightly at her question, and forced himself to pull away from her. He let his hand fall slowly from her neck and smiled slightly as he leaned back against the headboard. “Yes, I am fine.”

Clearing her throat uncertainly, Hermione finally allowed herself to breath normally again. Standing up she suddenly felt the need to flee, to get as far away from this man as possible. She could still feel her body’s response to him, and now that her head had cleared slightly she was a bit taken aback by it. “Good, well, listen, I should probably get you something to eat, and well you probably want to wash up a bit. I tried to get most of the blood off of you, but well, uh, the bathroom is right there. You should find everything you need,” she said in a rush and then proceeded to turn and walk out of the room.

Closing the door behind her, she let out a whoosh of air and put her hand to her neck where Malfoy had been gently caressing her. Yes, she decided, it had been a caress, not just a touch. She put both hands over her eyes and groaned in frustration. Shaking her head to clear her mind she decided that first she would deal with the situation at hand, and then she would, just maybe, think about what had just happened. “Right, kitchen,” she said and marched off to get some food for her strange patient.

Draco on the other hand was momentarily torn from his thoughts on Hermione by the pain shooting through his body as he attempted to move towards the bathroom. She had done a good job of closing his wounds and hiding his bruises, but the pain remained and showed through his stiff movements. He finally reached the small, white bathroom and debated over whether to allow himself the luxury of a bath, or to just have a quick shower. Though his muscles were screaming at him to choose the bath, he opted for the shower. If he sat down now, he didn’t think he would be able to stand up again.

Reaching over to turn on the showerhead, he allowed himself to relax completely for the first time in a very long time. He still had to warn her, he still had things he had to tell her, but for a moment he would allow himself to pretend he lived in a world where he could be happy, where she could be happy, where they were both safe. He sighed contentedly as he stepped into the shower and let the warm water run over his bruised body.

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Hermione listened as the shower ran in the bathroom. Wondering at how the fates had allowed Draco Malfoy to end up naked in her house, she prepared herself a bowl of pasta while making Malfoy a small sandwich. She didn’t really know if he was up to eating, but he had to get something into him. She stood stirring her pasta absentmindedly and tried to form questions to ask Malfoy. She had wanted to talk with him for so long, but now that he was just a few feet away in the next room, she couldn’t remember any of the questions she had wanted to ask him.

Suddenly she heard a faint popping noise and froze. “Hermione?” she heard from the living room.

“Oh shit!” she muttered. She watched as Harry came around the corner and entered the kitchen.

“Hey,” he said softly. He had stopped at the doorway and she could tell he was hesitant to enter completely. His face looked tired and unsure. “I am sorry to just pop in like this, I doubt you want to see anyone right now, but after last night I had too make sure you were okay. We are all worried about you Hermione,” Harry said carefully. He allowed himself to take two steps closer to her.

Hearing the shower go off, she frantically thought of ways to get rid of Harry before he realized she wasn’t alone in the flat. “Listen Harry, now is just not the best time for me okay! I have a lot on my mind and well would rather be alone right now.” She saw his crestfallen look and her heart went out to him. “I really do want to talk to you Harry, but just give me some time okay?” she pleaded with him.

She saw his body lose some of its tenseness and sighed happily to herself. “Yeah okay. Listen, whatever is going on we’ll figure it out okay?” he said to her and walked over to give her a brief but strong hug.

“Thanks Harry,” she smiled up at him.

“Yeah well, what would you do without me? Anyway I’m going to be at the Weasley’s today so you know where to find me if you need me,” he said as he turned to leave.

Hermione leaned back against the counter and watched as he was just about to exit the kitchen when suddenly, “Granger, what did you do with my clothes? I can’t find them anywhere?” asked Malfoy as he exited her room in nothing but a dripping wet chest and a white towel wrapped low around his waist. He froze when he saw Harry.

Harry had frozen when he heard Malfoy’s voice. Slowly he turned and saw a half naked Draco Malfoy after almost two years. “What the fuck?” Harry said angrily, his eyes darkening dangerously.

“Shit,” Malfoy muttered, his eyes wide.

“Oh Lord,” Hermione whimpered, looking back and forth between the two. And just when she thought it couldn’t get any worse, she heard another popping sound in the next room.

“Harry, you talk to her yet? She all right?” came Ron’s voice, getting louder as he got closer. No one moved, Hermione waiting for what seemed like forever for Ron to approach. “Harry?” Ron asked. She saw the red hair of her friend behind Harry. “Harry?” Ron asked pushing past a still frozen and angry Harry. “You all right there mate?” Getting no response from Harry, Ron turned and looked at Hermione for the first time. “Oh hey Hermione. You okay? What is going on with Har...” he trailed off, his eyes finally catching site of Malfoy.

“Bloody hell,” Ron spit out, his face suddenly going a dangerous red. He whipped out his wand and launched himself towards Draco.

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A/N: Well??? Heehee, I had to throw in a half naked Draco since I gave you all a half naked Remus! It is only fair. Well I enjoyed writing this chapter so much more then the last one. I am trying not to rush things between Hermione and Draco, it would be too unbelievable, but the facts here are the Hermione is deeply affected every time she is around Draco. Anyone who has ever been in love or had a true crush knows this happens. She can’t control her body’s reaction to him and this scares her a little. She barely knows him, yet understands him. It is all very confusing! I hope I explained that enough to clear up any question regarding Hermione’s reactions.

Love, Ally

“Don’t say words you’re gonna regret. Don’t let the fire rush to your head. I’ve heard the accusation before, and I ain’t gonna take anymore.” –Eye In the Sky, Noa

Draco/Hermione fic: A Reason chapters 5&6

2005-12-06T22:07:45Z

A Reason update

Chapters 5&6 for your reading pleasure

Chapter 5: Take The Train Again Mione?
Author: Ally
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Hermione gets upset, and Remus is acting weird!

A/N: Well I have decided to be nice and throw in some humour in this chapter, as the fic will generally be a dark one. (just how we all like it eh? Wink wink!) Also this chapter is a bit here and there but Hermione is hard to write at times when she isn’t alone! And I had to set up for the next one, which could go so many different ways, and I must narrow it down to only one! Ahhhh!

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I don’t know why I told them. I had come home and sure enough they were there waiting for me already, as I had opted for the train. I smiled in greeting, put my coat on the hook and went to start dinner.

“Take the train again Mione?” Ron asked from the couch as he was attempting to beat

Harry in some mindless game boys never seem to outgrow and they make me keep in my flat for when they visit. They come over, officially, for dinner three times a week. Unofficially, well I have lost track of how many times I have found them on my couch, in my fridge, in my bath, behind the plant by the window. The latter is due to a spontaneous game of hide-an-seek I managed to interrupt one Wednesday night about a month ago. Who would guess these boys have fought the baddest of the bad and, well, come out alive?

Sundays however, are sacred. That is Burrow Day. Every Sunday since leaving Hogwart’s we have all gathered at the Weasley’s for some really outrageous feasts. Everyone who can make it comes. Just last Sunday Charlie Weasley had appeared for the occasion, causing great surprise all around. Neville had even brought his Gran, who proceeded to tell Dean, Seamus, Justin, Harry and Ron that they had absolutely no manners at all, while smiling sweetly at the Weasley Twins, who for some unknown reason, had decided to impress the poor woman. Most Sundays end up turning into an impromptu Quidditch match before everyone apparates home.

I sighed at the memory, having allowed my thoughts to wander as I watched the water slowly boil. Last Sunday had also played witness to another event, one the boys didn’t know about. I had been helping Lavender clear the table and was headed to the kitchen to deposit the dishes when I overheard Charlie and Mrs. Weasley.

“I already told you Mum, there is no word of him,” Charlie was saying while scrubbing a dish free of its extra food. “It’s better that way, considering.”

“Oh dear, well I suppose you’re right. It is just that, well it’s been so very long,” Mrs. Weasley said and smiled up at her son. Suddenly she paused and said slowly, “You don’t suppose, well, you don’t think they killed him?”

“Dumbledore would have known Mum,” Charlie replied causing Mrs. Weasley too visibly relaxed. “No, he isn’t dead. I think Draco Malfoy will only be found when he wants to be found.”

At the mention of his name I dropped one of the plates I had been carrying, ending any conversation in the kitchen as they bustled out to help me. I hadn’t heard anyone mention Malfoy’s name in what seemed like forever. It had been somewhat shocking. Which is why today had been so bizarre. Seeing Malfoy just sitting there, looking for all the world...normal. Nothing was making sense anymore. My life was full of too many questions these days and not enough answers.

My thoughts were interrupted as Harry entered the kitchen. “So what’s for dinner then?” he asked, leaning casually against the counter, his unruly hair falling into his eyes and his hand stuffed in a cookie box.

I cast my eyes back to the now boiling water and reached for the box of pasta. Harry must have seen something in my eyes cause he asked, “You all right?”

I smiled as casually as possible, “Yes Mr. Potter, I am fine thank you.” Laughing quietly at his expression, I spoke without pausing to think of the consequences, “You’ll never believe it, but I saw Malfoy on the train ride home today.”

“WHAT?” Ron screamed from the lounge.

And that is when the floodgates really opened.

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A week later found me sitting at the Weasley’s kitchen table helping Mrs. Weasley and Ginny prepare dinner. “So I told Padma that she should go with the violet colour instead of-“Instead of what I never found out because at that moment Remus Lupin swayed in from the dark, rainy outdoors.

“Evenin’ Molly,” he said with a lopsided smile while brushing rain all over the floor from his jacket. “There are certainly some lovely young ladies in here tonight,” he said trying to wink at Ginny and myself.

“And where have you been?” Mrs. Weasley shrieked at him, pointing a carrot accusingly at his chest. Remus’ eyes widened in surprise. “Don’t think I can’t smell the alcohol flowing off you in waves Remus Lupin. You get yourself to that bathroom and make yourself presentable for dinner or so help me,” she shot at him. One would never guess they were the same age. Mrs. Weasley chose to mother everyone, including drunk, wet werewolves.

“Yes Miss,” replied Remus innocently enough, though with a gleam in his eye. Ginny was trying unsuccessfully to smother her giggles behind a parsnip.

Mrs. Weasley shot Ginny a warning look and whispered, “Don’t you dare encourage him!”

“Arthur home from work yet?” Remus asked over his shoulder as he fled the room while trying to rip his shirt over his head. It wasn’t working.

“No not yet. The clock shows him on his way though,” Mrs. Weasley answered, turning back to her cooking and choosing to ignore his behaviour.

“Good. I found something tonight, something we thought we’d lost,” Remus said, his voice now distant as he went to find the bath.

At his words, the carrot dropped from Mrs. Weasley’s hand and a shocked look crossed her face. “Oh,” she murmured, her eyes flicking quickly to mine. Suddenly she regained her composure and turned back around giving Ginny instructions on how to chop the parsnips just so with just the right spell.

I didn’t have time to figure out what the something was because at that moment Harry and Ron entered noisily.

“Was that Lupin?” Ron asked, leaning over and giving him mum a peck on the cheek.

“Yes it was. Now you and Harry help Hermione. Your Father is on his way home and I expect to be eating while this is still hot.”

Harry winked at me before magically floating the plates to the table. Suddenly a horrible sound could be heard from the inside of the house. Everyone froze. Ron reached for his wand. And then, “Blue Mooooooon, I saw you standing alooooone.” Remus’s voice from the shower echoed through the silence of the house in a horrible rendition of an old Muggle song.

“Good Lord. Is he drunk?” Said a surprised voice behind us. We all turned to stare at Arthur who had returned from work unnoticed.

“REMUS LUPIN!!!!” Mrs. Weasley screamed while storming down the hall. Sounds of a door opening, water splashing, and a grown man screaming met our ears.

“She didn’t?” Harry asked mouth agape.

“Oh I have no doubt that she did,” Ron replied through his laughter.

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The mood was light and full of good humour at the dinner table, but I found myself wishing I had refused the invitation. Though I will never forget the sight of a drunk, wet, half naked Remus being chased from the bathroom by Mrs. Weasley, the week had taken its toll on me.

After I had explained the really short encounter on the train, Harry and Ron went a little crazy. Sometimes they are too overprotective for my liking. They bombarded me with question after question while I had finished preparing dinner, all the while regretting having mentioned it.

“Look, he didn’t even see me,” I had shouted as I set their food before them.

“Sorry Hermione, its just no one has seen him since that night at Hogwart’s. Most people thought he was dead,” Harry had said softly.

“I know, its just, can we just eat?” And I demonstrated my desire to end the current conversation by stuffing a forkful of pasta into my mouth.

I should have known they wouldn’t be able to let it go. It had taken only 24 hours for word that Hermione Granger had seen Draco Malfoy in Muggle London to spread through the entire Ministry. “Sorry,” Ron had muttered when our paths crossed before practically running the other way. And it’s a good thing he did. The week that followed was full of nosy, gossip loving women asking for every little detail of the encounter. Ministry official after ministry official had filed in asking this and that. The general feeling I got was that no one really knew how to deal with this. After all, for all intents and purposes, Draco Malfoy had been dead for the past two years.

As I sat watching the Weasley family and guests laugh and eat their dinner, I couldn’t help but remember a day very long ago. A day a young boy from Slytherin had almost killed me. A day I had hoped he would. I had never told Ron and Harry about that day, and if I have my way, I never will. They would never have understood, they never will. I had wanted Malfoy to cut me then, and not for any rational reason I could later come up with.

I saw his eyes, drinking in every inch of that blade. I saw him that night, for the first time. I had never been afraid of him, not truly. To be honest, I didn’t think he could actually really harm me when it came down to it. He was a child, I was a child, and I had been so very naïve. Things at that time had been very bad. A lot of people were dieing. People I knew, people I loved. Who knows now how the mind of a teenager works, but at that moment, when he pushed that blade into my throat, I hoped he would end it for me then and there. I wouldn’t have to see the outcome of everything. I wouldn’t have to see who else would die. I wouldn’t have to hurt anymore. They wouldn’t be able to use me again to get to him. They wouldn’t be able to touch me again.

I had given up on a lot of things. Draco Malfoy had seemed my way out. Even then I knew that this war would kill me. One way or another, they were going to get me. Why not beat them to the punch. I would take my fate in my own hands and never let them touch me again. The past year had been hard on all of us. Things had happened. Horrible, troubling things and ignoring them had seemed to everyone like a great way to move on. Well I did not want to ignore them any more. I wanted to come face to face with everything and everyone and scream ‘Fuck you!’ Physical pain is infinitely easier to deal with then emotional or mental pain. The blade goes in then out, but the memories, well they stay forever.

What had surprised me most was that Malfoy had seen all this in my eyes. He had seen it and he had fled. He saw my pain, my self-loathing and had understood. For a moment, we had been equals. This had been my secret; this had been why I never wondered why he never called me Mudblood again.

I am ripped from my memories by Ginny’s scream. Fred is dangling a rat above her, while George is holding her down. Mrs. Weasley starts screaming at them, “NOT AT MY TABLE!”

Five minutes and two apologies later, I suddenly notice Mr. Weasley and Remus whispering to each other at the other end of the table. I suddenly remember Remus’ comment to Mrs. Weasley earlier, and though I am tired, several things start to fall into place. They feel my gaze and glance cautiously at me. I send them a smile full of malice and both are taken aback.

“You all right there, Hermione?” Remus asks, his eyes guarded.

“Fine thank you,” I reply somewhat coldly. “What was it you were saying to Mr. Weasley, Remus? I couldn’t hear you over the Twins.”

Arthur and Remus glance at each other quickly while the Twins say in the background, “Well, we do try.”

“Well I was just telling Remus here about a really interesting incident today involving a muggle lamp and a-“

“You really expect me to believe that?” I say harshly, effectively silencing any conversation at the table. I could feel all their eyes on me, Ron’s fork hanging halfway between his mouth and his plate. I didn’t care. I was an adult who had proved herself time and time again, yet they insisted on treating me like porcelain. “You really expect me to believe that? I am not a doll. I won’t break. You people think you need to protect me from the truth. I’m not stupid. I see the looks you all shoot me.” My voice, I notice, has reached a high almost hysterical pitch. I was just so damn tired. I let my eyes fall to my lap and reign in my temper. “I see the way you look at me and I want to know why.”

My words are met with continued silence. Mrs. Weasley was looking uncertainly at her husband, whose face had gone an amazing shade of red. Remus had his head buried in his glass, looking warily at me through the corner of his eye. He was suddenly sober. Harry and Ron sat across from me mouths slightly open in wonder and confusion. Fred and George were stunned into silence for once, their grips falling loosely from Ginny who was no longer struggling to leave their hold.

When no one seemed likely to reply, my anger boiled over. “Fine, that is just fine. I can figure it out on my own. I wasn’t head of my fuckin class because of my looks.” I draw a ragged breath before continuing carefully. “It has to do with him doesn’t it?” There was no need to say who ‘he’ was. No one said anything but from the look in Remus’ eyes, I had my answer. Remus and I were too much alike. I could read him better then Harry and Ron.

I stand up quite suddenly. “Since no one seems inclined to answer me I am going home. I don’t feel well.” Remus moves as if going to speak, but then thinks better of it and sits back again. “I’m sick of the looks. Sick of them. Two years you have been giving me them. You either tell me why or stop it,” I say calmly choosing to look at Mr. Weasley, the head of this fucked up family. His eyes widen slightly in shock, but I am beyond caring. “I know it has to do with Malfoy, I have known for a long time. I know him better then any of you think. I know something happened. When you feel ready to fill me in, you can come find me.” I turn around, ignore Harry’s voice and walk out of the house into the cold wet night.

I know that something happened, something involving Malfoy that had indirectly had something to do with me. I wasn’t blinded by old school grudges, like Harry and Ron. I had seen the look in Malfoy’s eyes that night at graduation. I had seen the pain and loss. But I had seen something else also. That something else had kept me awake too many nights. I wanted to know what the hell was going on, and I wanted to know now. I knew just where to start. Taking a deep breath and preparing to apparate, I have one last thought.

‘Look out Draco Malfoy.’

I didn’t see the hands flying towards me till it was too late.

Love, Ally
“She just can’t be chained to a life where nothing is gained, and nothing is lost.” -Ruby Tuesday...Stones

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Chapter 6: Night Revelations And Shining Memories

Summary: Hermione’s attacker is revealed.

A/N: I really like this next chapter. I don’t know how you all will take it, but well, it is tied for my favourite with the chapter where Remus talks to Draco. Anyway I hope you all like it.

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“Ahhh!” the screamed was ripped from her throat before she could stop it. Forgetting completely about her wand, she resorted to attacking her attacker with her hands.

“Damnit Hermione! Will you”, slap, “stop”, slap, “hitting me! What, you want the whole house to think I am kidnapping you?”

Hermione, now on the ground covered in dirt, leaves and a certain Fred Weasley, finally took in her surroundings. “FRED!?!” she shouted pushing him roughly off her so he landed to her right with a thud.

“Damn, where the hell did you learn to slap like that?” Fred asked while rubbing his face and chest gingerly.

Hermione, still reeling from the shock she had just received and still angry from the events at dinner, stood up, crossed her arms, and glared down menacingly at Fred. “And just what the HELL do you think you were doing sneaking up on me like that Fred Weasley? Huh? I could have cursed you into oblivion?”

Standing up slowly Fred picked up an object wrapped in black that she must have knocked unknowingly out of his hands. “Yeah well lucky for me then that you didn’t reach for your wand.” He smiled slowly but with none of his usual mirth.

“What the hell are you doing out here anyway? If you hadn’t noticed I stormed out during dinner. Let me finish my storming!” Hermione said sounding slightly defeated.

“Yeah well I think everyone noticed the storming,” Fred said, carefully eyeing Hermione then the house. “Listen I followed you for a reason.” He took a deep breath and for once in his life looked as though he were picking his words carefully. “I have something here I want to give to you,” he said indicating the small, wrapped bundle. “It...well it is something I found a long time ago and...well...I am not stupid either, okay? I may play dumb and try and get the laugh but I see what is going on around us Hermione; I see the same people dying that you do. I have scars just like yours.” He paused here and slowly dragged his hand through his now wet hair.

Hermione was stunned into silence by not only her curiosity, but at the seriousness of Fred’s words. Never had he spoken to her with such sadness in his voice. He and George were usually the ones who helped everyone forget the bad day they had had and just laugh.

“Things are reaching a head, I know that. This war is about to explode whether we want it to or not and I am not afraid to say I don’t know who will come out alive.” Fred drew a deep breath and looked at the bundle in his hands. “Like I said, I see what is going on around me, and well I want to give this to you.”

Hermione could see he was battling with himself and decided to break her silence. “What is it Fred?”

He looked up and met her eyes for the first time. She was surprised at the darkness she found in them and suddenly realized how deeply effected everyone was by the times they were living in. “Well, ha, funny thing is it isn’t even yours. I don’t know why I am even giving it to you, I mean it may be totally inappropriate and well maybe I shouldn’t, but for some reason,” he rambled on mumbling more to himself then to her.

“Fred,” Hermione said and held out her hand. He took one last look at the bundle and slowly reached out and placed it in her hands. She was surprised at the weight of it. It had looked so small and light. Slowly she peeled back the soft, black fabric and revealed the gift Fred had chosen to give her. She gasped. “Oh!” she said, her eyes flying to his for an explanation.

Fred, somewhat encouraged that he had not as of yet been slapped, let go of the breath he had been holding. Not able to meet her eyes any longer, he glanced at the house that has been his home for almost 22 years now. “Like I said, I found it, years ago. I was outside by the lake waiting to ambush Ron. George was hiding by Hagrid’s hut and we were hoping to catch Ron unawares and steal his prefects badge.” He was interrupted when he heard her laugh quietly, a haunted look in her eyes as she stared down at his gift.

He was suddenly struck by how beautiful Hermione Granger actually was. The rain had plastered her hair to her face and the barely visible moon was casting a pale light that fell elegantly off the planes of her face. He had been so close to her for almost nine years now and had never before looked at her, really and truly looked at her. “You’re beautiful,” Fred said.

Hermione had to laugh out loud then, because he hadn’t said it in a lustful way. No, in fact Fred had said it in a surprised, matter-of-fact sort of way. It was almost as if he had walked by her on the street and seen her for the first time all over again. “Yeah well, you’re not so bad yourself,” she said lightly.

Fred shook himself and glanced warily around him. The night had taken on an eerie feeling and he yearned to go back inside, but he wasn’t finished here yet. So he continued with his tale. “Well I was hiding behind one of the bushes by the lake when I saw someone running down from the castle. I hunched lower hoping that if it was Ron he hadn’t seen me.” He paused again and cleared his throat.

“It wasn’t Ron, was it,” she stated.

“No, not by a long shot. He came running right towards me full out. For a minute I thought he had seen me, but when he got closer I could see his eyes were full of...well to be honest Hermione I don’t know. I had never quite seen that look on Malfoy’s face before but hell, for the first time I pitied him. I didn’t have long to wonder what was bothering him because he suddenly did something that distracted me from his eyes. He reached into his robes and practically ripped out that dagger.”

“He stood there staring at it absolutely transfixed for a few minutes. He was mumbling to himself too low for me to hear, when suddenly, as though the dagger had burned him, he threw it into the lake with all his bloody strength. He stood staring at where it fell for a few moments. Before he turned away from it he said something about blood and not believing something. I don’t know, he was speaking too low for me to hear him, but when he turned back his eyes were back to normal and well, he just strolled back up to the castle,” Fred said, looking visibly relieved to have gotten this off his chest.

“But if he threw it into the lake, then how did,” Hermione said staring at the dagger in her hands.

“Took me all bloody night, but I found it. I don’t know why I went after it exactly, but you know me, look before I leap right. And a lot of good finding it did for me. I was stupid enough to think it might be worth something so I went swimming around the bottom of that freezing lake for hours and all I had to show for it was that damn dagger and the worst cold I have ever had in my life.” Fred finally met Hermione’s eyes again before continuing. “Once I had it, well, its weird. I didn’t want to sell it. I had seen the look in Malfoy’s eyes and well I just kept it. Threw it in the bottom of my trunk and barely thought about it. Rarely took it out. The first time I looked at it again, after I had retrieved it, was the night of Ronnykin’s graduation. I saw that same look in his eyes again when he was talking to you and well, I think I started to piece a few things together.”

“He changed after that day at the lake and I knew it had something to do with that dagger. He stared at you a lot more after that, you know,” Fred said and noticed the slight surprise in her eyes. “Yeah, well don’t worry, I don’t think anyone else noticed. You kind of had to know what to look for. Anyway, considering the way things have been going lately, I started thinking about the dagger again.” Here Fred paused as if afraid to go on. Here was the tricky bit. “I see the way they look at you too Hermione. I have always seen it. I see how you notice them also. It makes you so mad sometimes I wonder how you manage not to scream all the time,” Fred said with an understanding smile.

Hermione felt a single tear fall down her face. She had never known this side of Fred, had never seen him this way before. She looked at the dagger again and then into his eyes. “But why give it to me?”

“Yeah well, don’t really know. I think you’ve seen it before though, I can tell that much from your reaction. And well I think...god I am not good at this serious thing,” he growled out, running both hands through his hair now. “God I don’t really know Hermione. It’s like I said, I see things. And though I can’t put it all into words or down on paper, well I got the feeling that I should give that to you. You could have either thrown it back at me disgusted or taken it, I was prepared for either.”

“Fred,” Hermione said quietly, “You’re right. I have seen it before.” She couldn’t bring herself to say thank you, not for this gift, but she felt he deserved that bit of truth. She stared at the dagger, all the memories flooding into her as the moonlight reflected off it. She couldn’t explain it, but she was very pleased that Fred had made this decision. Seeing the dagger again had made her look at her life and be thankful that Malfoy had not followed through.

“Well, it’s yours now. It spent too many years gathering dust in the bottom of my trunk,” Fred said, the smallest hint of a smile reaching his lips. “I think, regardless of what any of them inside that house think, that Draco Malfoy has answers for some of your questions. Find him and maybe you will find what you have been hiding from all these years.” He paused here, reaching out a hand and slowly let it graze the side of her face. “You have been through so much Hermione, we all have. Don’t let it beat you, don’t you dare let them win,” Fred said softly, silently thanking whatever god was watching that this young woman was in his life. He let his hand drop and turned to walk back to the house.

Hermione watched as Fred began to walk home, her mind a complete blank. Suddenly he stopped. She watched him turn slightly to her. He said quietly over his shoulder, “No one knows about the dagger. Not even George.” And with that Fred walked back into the house. Hermione was stunned. Fred confiding in her had meant a lot to her. The fact that he had never confided this with his twin meant even more.

No longer noticing the rain, Hermione slowly wrapped the dagger back up in its black prison. Fred had given her a gift that meant more then he probably knew. For so long she had gone through the motions with her friends, thinking no one understood half of what she lived through. Oh she wasn’t stupid, she knew everyone was hurting or had lost someone. She knew everyone was affected equally by everything around them, but she had always felt that she alone had so many unanswered questions. Fred had shown her tonight that she had been wrong.

She had always loved everyone one of the Weasley’s in different degrees: Ron as her best friend and her protector; Molly and Arthur as loving parents; Ginny as the sole girlfriend she had had for so long; Charlie and Bill for the maturity and experience they brought to the group; Percy for his intelligence, even if he was being a prat these days; and the Twins she had always loved for their laughter. But Fred had surprised her by understanding her better then any of the others. And for that she loved him for being a true friend, she loved him for being the one who really saw her. Only one other person had ever done that.

Smiling to herself in the rain, her anger forgotten with the arrival of Fred’s unexpected kindness, Hermione decided to go home. She still wanted her answers, and she would get them. But for right now, she wanted to sleep. Taking a deep breath and clutching the wrapped dagger to her side, she closed her eyes and apparated. When she opened them again she looked around her flat and for the second time that night was startled. Only this time she didn't scream. This time her hand flew to her mouth to cover a gasp. She stood absolutely still staring down at a very unconscious and very bloody Draco Malfoy.

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A/N: Okay I had been so stuck on where to go from the previous chapter and how to connect two parts of my story and well suddenly, when I thought all hope was gone, this came. I really like it, I don’t know why because I am rarely truly happy with my chapters. No matter what anyone says I like it! I think that Fred and George are such very interesting characters in the book with more layers then they are given credit for.

I had written the last chapter with no idea who snuck up on Hermione, so all you readers and I were in the same boat. It could have been so many people from both good and bad, but somehow Fred and the dagger seemed to fit perfectly. I hope you all like it and hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Next chapters will most certainly have more Draco/Hermione and some questions are finally answered!

Love, Ally
‘But here was heroism, the kind that honour sings; the courage to be lovely and smile, in spite of things.’

Draco/Hermione fic: A Reason chapters 3&4

2005-12-06T22:01:25Z

A Reason Update

Chapters 3&4 of A Reason! Enjoy!

Chapter 3: Still My Reason

Author: Hafthand

Rating: PG

Summary: Draco on his brief encounter in the train

Disclaimer: If it was mine then I would be wearing really expensive shoes right now and not just my socks!

A.N: Well here it is. Draco’s point of view. This bit doesn’t reveal much, but god how I love the angst and uncertainty inside our favourite Slytherin. It is short and very vague, but it is meant as a set up! Thank you everyone who has reviewed! Talk about motivation. See end of chap for individual thank you’s!!

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I saw her once, just after Hogwarts. I know she saw me. How could I not? Her gaze was like fire the instant she caught sight of me sitting in the muggle train. It took all my willpower to not look at her, too not see her beautiful eyes staring back into mine. I had no doubt that she was wondering why the hell I was on a muggle train in the first place. Truth be told, I was wondering why she was even on it.

I had to fight hard not to meet her gaze so, I continued on as though I was reading the book before me, but I didn’t see the words. How could I concentrate on anything now that she was looking at me? Fear began to creep into my head, a cold fear that had not gripped me since at Hogwarts when I had given up so much so she could be happy. Happy without me. As far as I knew, she still had no idea about the past, about how close she came to dieing that night. As far as I knew, she had not thought about me since I left. As far as I knew, she still thought I was evil.

That night, as I had walked from the Great Hall, I knew then and there I would never return to Hogwart’s. My time there had ended and an unknown future had presented itself to me. I had not fled from the hall as I had thought I would have. No I had said my good-bye and walked out with my head high. But then what? What lay ahead for an orphaned wizard with no friends, no allies, and no hope? I didn’t know and I didn’t care.

I was no longer Lucius Malfoy’s prodigy son, Death Eater to be, but I was also no longer a student under the protective gaze of Dumbledore. My life was destined for the shadows now. I had to make sure no one knew. I had to make sure they thought I was dead. Dumbledore had made clear the importance of keeping certain things hidden, and he also made clear his wish that I could have stayed under his protection. It was impossible however, for me to have stayed at Hogwarts. There was a spy creeping the corridors of the school; a spy that had almost succeeded in its mission. We didn’t know who it was; oh I had my suspicions, but that’s all they were.

So I had erased the existence of a certain Draco Malfoy and had watched silently from the sidelines as the battle raged on, creeping my way through the rubble, neither side gaining much ground. I had heard all about the heroics of Potter and his little army, but I didn’t care. I had done the right thing. It had been worth it. She had been worth it. So, I was fine. Fine until I saw her picture in the paper once, and it was all I could do to not check on her. All I could do to not make sure she was okay. She had been smiling so happily, so care-free.

But, as ever, I knew I couldn’t intrude on that. When I had been younger, I used to dream that I would tell her the whole truth and that, upon seeing I wasn’t a monster, would grow to care for me, maybe even love me. Love. A feeling and a concept I had never known till her. A feeling that changed everything and nothing at the same time. I had often wondered what she would do if she had known that I, Draco Malfoy, pureblood, had fallen for her charms. She had become my reason. She became my conscience. But in the end I laughed at the childish idea. Love me? No one could do that, no matter what I had done for them. I was a Malfoy, love was not a concept I was supposed to understand. So instead I hide like a coward in the shadows.

Sadly, as my mind came back to the present, I knew I never wanted this train ride to end. I did not dare look at her, but even her mere presence had brought everything back for me. All too soon I could see her decide to approach me; I knew I had to flee. My stop was not for ages, but I couldn’t risk talking to her again. I don’t think I would have been able to walk away this time. So I rose from my seat and paid no attention to those around me as I made my way to the door. The train slowed and I could feel her getting closer. I was not to meet Miss Granger on this day, for all too soon the doors were opening and I was once again walking out of her life.

Then I heard her call out my name. “Draco!” So shocked was I at her use of my first name that I let my guard down and stopped. For a brief moment I had visions of what would happen if I were to just turn and acknowledge her presence. I saw us attempting to talk of past times like the friends we never were. I saw her asking me what had happened to me, and where I had been. All too soon I was once again remembering the look in her eye as I held her hand that night, long ago at Hogwarts. I remembered the questions in her brown eyes. I remembered the screams echoing from my father’s mouth. I remembered then, why I had left and not looked back. She was safe. To turn towards her now would ruin everything I had worked towards.

No, she can’t know I saw her. So I fumbled through my pockets looking for an imaginary object that upon finding allowed me to once again begin my exit from the station. I heard the doors close and thought it was over. Only this time I looked back. All reason had gone, everything I had just thought. I didn’t care if she caught me or not. I needed one last look. So I turned quickly and found the train disappearing through the tunnel. As quick as she had reentered my life she had left it again. But it’s okay. It had to be like this. I hadn’t seen her in ages, but she was still my reason. I turned and walked up the stairs happier then I had been in a very long time. A dark path lay before me, but none of that mattered now.

I saw her once, after Hogwarts. I should never have let her see me.

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Well folks? I know this was short and not very revealing, but I think I have an idea for this fic, so I am setting it up for what comes next. Notice the ominous last line!!??!! Hmmm may have to throw in some Remus in the future and maybe reveal a bit of what happened. Who knows??? I have plenty of time on my hands as I am now in Italy relaxing from school and work for a few months, so I can spend hours doing nothing. Instead I spend hours reading fanfic, eating good food, and finally writing some Harry Potter stuff!! Anywho, enough ranting.

Chapter 4: Put It Down To Malfoy Pride, Okay?

Rating is being changed since this is no longer a one-off to PG-13. Considering R but not yet!

A/N: Well all those reviews...(blushes) and here I thought this was going to be a one-off! Any who I hope you all like this chapter; I like it better then the last one. I am also trying to make the chapters longer so as to enhance reading pleasure! Look at end for personal thank you’s!!!

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He entered the dark muggle pub and let his eyes search the rather questionable clientele. It was a smoky, back alley pub with bad lighting, and even worse music. It was perfect for who he was hunting. He had been hunting him for a week with no luck until tonight. He saw his quarry and, making sure his hood sufficiently covered his face, stalked carefully toward his goal.

No one looked up from their drinks. No one bothered to take notice of the yellow fire his eyes possessed beneath his ragged cloak. No one let their eyes drift from their tables. But he didn’t think for one minute they weren’t all listening. He approached his prey and watched as the man threw back another drink, slamming the empty glass next to several others like it. He allowed a small smirk to tug at his lips as he pushed his way forward. Grabbing the seat next to the drunken man, he caught the attention of the bartender and signaled for a drink and sat down. The man next to him made no indication that he knew he was there.

Grabbing his drink from the ugliest bartender he had ever seen, he threw back the shot, slammed it to the table and turned towards the man. “She saw you, you know.”

Having expected some reaction, he was rather surprised when the man simply nodded and said, “I know,” his eyes never leaving the table.

“This causes a problem,” the hooded man said softly turning to signal the bartender for another drink.

“I thought it might.”

“Yet you let her see you?” his tired voice asked. “Draco, you should have-“

“I what?” Draco spat out, turning to look at the man for the first time. The fire in his eyes didn’t frighten the man, only shook him to his core. “I should have what?”

“Well dyed your hair for one,” the man said smiling slightly before knocking back another drink.

“Yeah well, put it down to Malfoy pride okay,” Draco replied, visibly relaxing, the fire in his eyes changing into a deep tiredness.

“Yeah, well your Malfoy pride has the ministry buzzing, not to mention other, unsavory groups.”

“She told on me,” Draco spluttered, almost as if he were thirteen again.

“No, no not really. She told Harry and Ron that she saw you on the train. You can imagine what happened from there.”

“Fuck Potter, and fuck Weasley as well. God-damnit. Should I be worried?” Draco asked looking unconcerned as he called over for another drink.

“Yes, yes I think you should,” the man answered, pushing his hood back and running his hand tiredly through his hair. He took a deep breath and asked, “Why didn’t you just turn away? Why let her see you after this long? You’ll have to run again, you know this, so why did you do it?”

Knocking back the shot Draco winced slightly as the hard liquor burned down his already raw throat. “Run. No, I am sick of running. No more running for this Malfoy.” When Draco saw the man was about to interrupt he continued quickly. “Why didn’t I turn away? Would you have been able to Remus? Would you? God, I just wanted to walk right up to her and, and, well I don’t know, but she was so close. Closer then she has been to me in a long time. I could have reached over and touched her she was that real to me.”

Remus Lupin glanced worriedly at the young man next to him and sighed. “You have been alone too long Draco. I think you are starting to lose it.”

“Yeah, well that makes two of us.” Draco threw his head into his hands and growled loud enough so that several patrons turned to look at him. “God how could I have been so stupid!”

“Love does funny things to people.”

“Oh, love huh? Is that what this is? I throw my life away cause some stupid, nerdy mudblood starts to grow on me a few years back? I turn my back on everyone and everything I knew just so she could live in blissful ignorance for the rest of her precious life? I kill my own flesh and blood for her knowing I will never get a thank you? Is this love Remus? Malfoy’s don’t love.” And though Draco’s words had been harsh, there had been no malice behind them. Remus could see that the young man before him, even after so long, had still not come to grips with the battle inside him. Remus didn’t think Draco ever would. He knew exactly what the young man was going through.

“Love is most certainly not my specialty any more then it is yours. But you did a wonderful thing for someone you should by all rights have despised. Now that, well that is something isn’t it. Even if she never knows, you saved her life and that forms a link, you know that,” Remus said softly as he stood up. Now that he had warned the young man, it was time to go. He reached over and placed a firm grip on Draco’s shoulder. “Whatever you decide to do, be careful. Don’t let her, or anyone else cloud your judgment.”

“You couldn’t have given me that advice years ago?” Draco asked sarcastically.

“Yeah well, you wouldn’t have listened then, and I truly doubt you’ll listen now.” Remus reached for his hood, pulling slowly over his head. “Be careful Draco. Reveal too much too soon, and you are asking for disaster. Take care.” Remus turned to go but was stopped by Draco’s voice.

“How did you find me anyway?”

“I hunted you. And you better believe if I can do it, so can they.” And with that Remus left the muggle pub and disappeared into the awaiting darkness knowing full well he would be seeing Draco Malfoy very soon. He was young, and young men often allow their hearts to rule their actions, even if they didn’t think they had a heart to begin with.

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Draco sat in the pub drinking for a long time after Remus had left him. What was he supposed to do now? What possibilities lay before him? They knew. They all knew he was alive and kicking now, she had seen to that. But what did it matter anyway? Wasn’t it about time he quit running, and step up with all the courage he used to brag about? But for which side? He practically laughed at that thought. It wasn’t like he had a choice; he had made sure of that years ago.

Throwing back another drink he allowed his mind to wander back into the past. He let his mind wander to when he had first really and truly seen her.

“Damnit Malfoy, get the fuck off me,” Hermione shrieked trying to push him away. Draco Malfoy had followed her after Arithmancy, one of the few times she was actually alone, and watched as she took a shortcut through deserted hallways. He had quickened his pace, grabbed her roughly by the arm and pushed her into an empty classroom. She had been so surprised she hadn’t had time too react. He had slammed the door, thrown her against the wall, and was currently pinning her to it with the whole of his body. She felt small underneath him, small, but strong.

She was fighting hard against him, but years of Quidditch had toned his fifteen-year-old body, and he barely budged. “Malfoy,” she shrieked, not in fear, but in anger.

“Shut up Mudblood,” he practically spat at her. He could see her wand beneath her robes and made quick work of throwing it across the room. Some of the fight went out of her for a moment after he did that, but then she redoubled her efforts. He grabbed her arms and pinned them against the wall by her head. He turned his heated and hateful gaze towards her and she stilled when his eyes met hers. She hadn’t expected the intensity of his look, and frankly it frightened her.

Now that she had stilled, Malfoy let his eyes take her all in. Her bushy hair, petite face, small chest, boyish hips. He could not understand what the hell was so goddamned special about her. He continued staring at her for several minutes trying to find something, anything about her that could account for her strength, her intelligence. He finally brought his eyes back up to hers and saw the fear had gone only to be replaced by curiosity. Damn her and her Gryffindor courage. He was her better; she should be trembling in fear.

He leaned in and whispered harshly in her ear, “Tell me something, Mudblood. What makes you so goddamned special? What gives you the right to walk through these halls with your head held so high? You are nothing but dirt, you know that? Filthy and soiled. How is it that someone with your dirty blood, can achieve what you have? How is it that you feel you can walk where purebloods walk?”

“Jealous Malfoy? Daddy been hard on you cause your grades aren’t up to par? Mummy embarrassed caused her little prince is being shown up by a Mudblood?” Hermione spat back at him. A rage began burning in her eyes. A rage that almost made him drop her then and there and turn around. But he had a mission to do, and he wasn’t going to let anything change that. “You know nothing about me and nothing about my blood. We are all the same you stupid git, open your eyes and stop being brainwashed.” She said this so matter-of-factly that Malfoy knew she thought he was toying with her. Knew she thought he would never hurt her. Well, he would just have to take her down a peg or two.

Before she could see what he was doing, Malfoy reached into his own robes and pulled out a small silver dagger. The light from the torches in the classroom reflected off the surface of the blade, causing it to gleam brilliantly. Malfoy stared at the simple dagger wondering what it would feel like entering his skin. He wondered whether it would hurt much. He was brought out of his trance by her sharp intake of breath. He smiled maliciously, though his eyes remained blank, and brought the blade to her throat.

“Know nothing about you? I don’t need to know anything about you, you filthy bitch. I know enough. Father gave this to me,” he said glancing at the dagger, not daring to look into her eyes. He had never killed, never cut someone open and watched them bleed. He knew he was capable; it was something he had been born to do. The light playing off the blade seemed so very bright and inviting to him. He slowly lifted the blade from her throat and held it before him. The sharp blade mesmerized him. How easy to end it all right here. No more thoughts, no more scars, no more of anything.

It was her silence, more than anything, that finally made him meet her eyes. She should have been quivering in fear, she should have been crying, or screaming, or doing anything else except what she was. He saw her staring at the blade, watching the light play off its gentle edge. He saw her eyes stare invitingly at it. He saw her eyes practically begging him to do it. Thoughts ran through Draco’s head in a flash, ‘It couldn’t possibly mean... but Granger was... miss perfect... Father said... She wants me to cut her, no she wants me to kill her!’

He stumbled backwards with the force of that realization, her eyes still on the dagger. He looked at her and he knew then. He knew it to his very core. He knew she was just like him; blood aside, she was just like him. He fled. He didn’t look back, didn’t care whom he ran over, Draco Malfoy fled for his life. He had thought he had her figured out, he had thought he knew exactly what she was. But that had all changed. And as he ran from her, that is when he started to fall. That is when it all started to go horribly wrong.

He shook himself from his memories and stared at the empty glasses before him. He had seen a truth in her eyes that night that had never allowed him to look at her the same way again. He had never found out why she hadn’t backed down from the blade, which he had thrown out, as far as he could, into the lake on the grounds and hadn’t seen it since. “Arg, you’re a fool Malfoy,” he growled out loud. The heads of several patrons around him turned towards him. He caught their looks and they backed down at the fierceness in his eyes.

He reached into his pocket and threw down some muggle money without looking to see how much. He got up from his stool and walked through the smoke-filled pub and out the door into the darkness. He paused then and looked down the road and then up the other way. Dark and fog both ways. “Well Draco, now or never. Which way?” he asked the night. Nothing answered him, not even a soft trill of some bird. “Oh Fuck it, I’ve got nothing to lose,” he said as he turned right and began walking.

‘You could lose her,’ a voice in the back of his mind shouted at him.

‘I lost her a long time ago,’ he shouted back.
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A/N: Well, promised a little Remus didn’t I!?!? And why exactly did Hermione want to die???? Will we find out next chapter? Where is Draco going? Do we really know which side he is going to? Lol, I love to tease!

Draco/Hermione fic: A Reason (2/?)

2005-12-06T21:52:54Z

A Reason update

Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Never A Reason
Author: Hafthand
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Rating: PG
Summary: Hermione looks back on a night not long ago and sees someone she never thought she would see again.

A/N: Okay so thank you so much everyone who reviewed so quickly to my first Harry Potter fic! I have caved and written a sequel, and am also writing at least one more part after. Thank you all so much for your kind words!!!!!

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I saw him once, not long after Hogwarts. I don’t think he saw me, and if he did, he made no indication that he had. I was in London, and had chosen to take the Muggle way home from the ministry, the subway. I was in a hurry to get home to the warmth of my flat after a busy winter day, and rushed onto the underground just as the doors were closing. As usual at this hour, there was the rush hour press, so abandoning any hope of finding a seat in what Harry would fondly call a mosh-pit, I steadied myself against the pole by the door, fishing out my book from my bag.

I settled myself in for a forty-five minute journey that Ron is constantly complaining about. He doesn’t understand why I would bother wasting forty-five minutes standing in a human sardine tin instead of apparating. I have tried explaining to him, that at least once a week I try and take the subway or my ancient car to remind myself that I may be a witch, but I was once a Muggle. His response: “You’re mental.”

Harry gets it a little, I think. He never brings it up, but I think he understands the need to escape the pressures of the magical world for even just an hour. Things can be so hectic these days, that sometimes I feel the need to breathe and can’t. Harry gets that, he always has. Ron has never known anything but the magical world, but I think, when it gets really rough, he envies Harry and I our past in the Muggle world.

I let out a sigh as I push the stray thoughts from my mind and try to concentrate on the pages of the worn book before me. I am having little success as the rocking of the train, the heat of the carriage, and the muttering of the passengers send me into a kind of daze. I lower the book and allow my gaze to travel across the other passengers, not really taking in the details. The train begins to slow as we approach the next stop and a few passengers get up and try to push their way through the crowd to the doors.

It is then, when I am forced to venture further into the carriage, that I see the shock of white-blonde hair that sends my thoughts reeling back to a night not quite two years ago. A night I think about too often these days. A night that sends odd shivers down my spine. I remember his eyes, staring deeply into mine; his hand slowly reaching for mine; his eyes almost begging me to take his hand. I remember too well the words he spoke to me with no explanation whatsoever.

I shake myself from these thoughts and try to get a better view of the face that belongs to that hair. Parts of me are hoping it is him, but why? Surely, Draco Malfoy, purest of the purebloods would never be sitting on a Muggle underground in the heart of London?! But then again, Draco Malfoy, Slytherin Prince extrordinaire, would never have said what he had to me that night. I have learned, these past few years, that the world is full of surprises. Events you could never hope for, come barreling around the corner, colliding with your world. That is how I feel now as an old woman in a over-the-top red hat shifts over to make room for a young woman and her child. It is then that Draco Malfoy’s face becomes visible.

My breath goes slightly ragged, but I push this off to the heat of the carriage. I allow my eyes to drink him in. His hair hangs limply below his ears, falling beautifully over his eyes. The same grey eyes I caught staring at me so often. He was dressed as a muggle in what I could only assume were expensive designer clothes. Black designer clothes of course. He sat reading an old hardcover book with what seemed great intensity. I had to admit, he looked good. Very good. But he also looked very lost. As lost as he had that day, so many months ago when he came over to me on his last night in Hogwarts.

I still have no idea what had possessed him to say such things to me, or why Remus treated him with such pained respect. I still have no idea what I was a reason for, or what he even meant by that. Harry and Ron had interragated Remus all night about the handshake, but Remus simply shook his head and looked at me with even sadder eyes then he normally carried. Surprisingly Mrs. Weasley had a tear running down her face as she watched Malfoy walk from the hall. She had turned to Ron when he had began to insult Malfoy and said, “Don’t you dare. Do you hear me Ronald Weasley? Don’t you dare. You don’t know... you have no idea...” her eyes traveling to gaze at me sadly.

But Mr. Weasley had then put a comforting arm around his wife and they had gone off to find Ginny. “Well, I would if you would have told me something,” Ron muttered once she was out of earshot.

I had started getting tired of everyone looking at me that way, so I approached Remus, when Harry and Ron had run off to find Neville. “Professor Lupin,” I had muttered, not wanting to intrude on his silence.

He looked up at me slowly and smiled. “Too many people have lost so much in this war Hermione, too many. And it isn’t over yet.” His eyes focused on me for the first time and the smile fell from his face. “Don’t you throw your life away, don’t you dare. It’s too precious now.” And with that he downed his drink and went to find solace elsewhere leaving me even more confused.

Seeing him now, sitting quietly reading as though back in the library at Hogwarts, I find all my old memories and questions flood back with such an intensity that I begin to get angry. Angry because this stranger has held such power over my life, and I don’t know why. My anger is cut short as the train begins its approach to the next station. More people push their way to the doors and I have a perfectly unobstructed view of the mystery that is Draco Malfoy.

I consider for a moment what I am going to say to him after all this time, or even if I should say anything at all. He had disappeared from our world that night at Hogwarts. No one had seen him since. Every time Ron would suggest that Malfoy had become a Death-Eater and was in hiding, Mrs. Weasley, or even Remus, would quickly silence him. They would never explain why. They would just get a pitying look in their eyes, glance quickly at me, then change subject.

No, I decide, I will say something to him. There have been to many glances shot my way and I want an explanation. The train stops and expels its passengers, as I gather up the courage to approach this ghost from my past. I silently laugh at myself. I have faced death countless times, yet talking to Draco Malfoy puts butterflies in my stomache. Just then the train picks up speed again and Malfoy looks up. I hold my breath, half of me willing him to look my way, the other half praying he won’t. Instead he gets up from his seat, which is quickly taken by a pretty brunette in a skirt and high heels, who seems to find Malfoy’s ass very attractive.

He is unaware though. His haunting eyes don’t come my way, they seek the exit closest to him and he pushes his way towards it. I leave my reasons behind and fight my way to his end of the carriage. The train is slowing in its approach to the next stop and I try to move faster towards him wondering as I do what I could possibly say to him. An elderly man glances grumpily at me as I apologize for treading over his foot, but I continue onwards. As I draw nearer, the train stops. I push my way faster the last few feet and finally reach the doors just as they open.

He steps out and before I can think I shout his name, "Draco!”

He pauses then and I wait for him to turn my way. But it soon becomes apparent that he has not heard me. He has paused while he searches his pockets for some unknown object, which upon finding resumes his journey out of the tunnel and up to the world above.

I lean against the now shut doors and watch as his lonely figure slowly fades from my view. I sigh in frustration and loss. Now I will never have a reason, no reason at all. No reason for past events. I retrieve my forgotten book from my bag and wait for my journey home to end.

I saw him once, not long after Hogwarts. But I don’t think he saw me.

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Well, I wrote the sequel, due to a few reviews asking for one, and well since I am so easy to convince, I decided to go from Hermione’s point of view. I will also be adding at least one more part, from Draco’s point of view so keep looking if I have succeeded in peeking your interest!! Ciao for now!

Love, Ally

‘In the end Captain, we all stand alone.”

Draco/Hermione Fic: A Reason (1/?)

2005-12-06T21:50:02Z

Title: A Reason (1/?)
Rating: PG

Author: Hafthand

Summary: Draco’s thoughts as he stands in the Great Hall for the last time and catches site of her.

Disclaimer: Sooooo not mine! J.K.'s!

A/N: Draco’s words have finally been updated!

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He stared up at the massive crowd of happy people before him. He was standing alone in a sea of happiness and triumph. Hell, even his fellow Slytherins had smiles on their faces. But he cared about none of them. His eyes rested on one person and one person only. She was laughing and hugging her parents and talking excitedly with her two best friends. He envied Harry and Ron, he truly did. They got to spend each day with her and be the cause of those beautiful smiles.
He looked down at the piece of parchment in his hand with sadness. His stay at Hogwarts was now ended and he had this small piece of paper to prove it. “Head boy too. Father would have been proud,” he whispered harshly to no one in particular. He glanced up at the crowd again. Everyone here had someone, everyone had people that loved and cared about them, but not him. Not Draco Malfoy, and well, that had been his choice. He looked up and saw her walking towards a table with the Golden Boy, and the Weasel. He laughed slightly as he thought this. He hadn’t called them that in ages. It felt good.

He couldn’t stand it any more; all the happiness here would suffocate him if he couldn’t get out. He was about to turn, when a hand on his shoulder stopped him. He looked up into old, sparkling eyes. “Hello Draco,” Dumbledore’s soft voice greeted him.

“Professor,” he replied.

“Congratulations on thecompletion of your studies. I am very proud of all that you have accomplished while here at this school Mr. Malfoy,” he said quietly for Draco's ears alone.

Malfoy glanced sharply up at him, wondering if his words had double meanings here. The things he had done, the things he still had yet to do, only Dumbledore knew about, and he had sworn never to tell. “Thank you Professor, but it isn’t over yet.”

Dumbledore smiled sadly and looked out into the crowd of people, “No, Mr. Malfoy, I am afraid it is just beginning.” He paused and Draco could see him looking at The Golden Trio. “Do you think, Mr. Malfoy, do you think it will all come out right in the end?”

He paused before answering and looked at her once more. She was throwing her head back with laughter and relief. Her hair, he noticed, was still as bushy as the first day he had met her. He grimaced slightly as he remembered that day. He had been so young, and so naïve, but what was done was done. “I think for some, Professor, it will come right. For some.”

“And for her?” Dumbledore asked knowingly.

“If I have anything to do with it, yes!” Draco answered vehemently.

“I notice, young Mr. Malfoy that you are alone on this wonderful day. In fact you are always alone these days. What you have done for me, and for them, though they may not know it, has been extraordinary. Do not let the past force you into seclusion. Do not let your fear cause you pain. You deserve to be happy, at least for today. You have done more that should be required for one your age. Do not weep over the past. Do not let it haunt you.” And with that he turned and disappeared into the crowd, leaving Draco alone again staring at her and remembering all he had done.

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“Thank Merlin, no more Snape,” Ron sighed with relief as he sat surrounded by his family and friends.
“I know. If I had to take- damnit, he is staring at us again,” Harry said through clenched teeth. Hermione turned to see he was right; Draco Malfoy was staring at their little group again, as he had been for months now.

“Well, at least after today, he won’t be able to anymore,” she said matter of factly. She glanced over her shoulder and caught his eyes. “He has been so quiet lately, so different. I don’t think he has said a word to any of us since his father died,” she whispered to Harry and Ron while still staring into his sad grey eyes. Draco continued staring back lost in his memories.

“Oh come on Hermione, who could be sad if that git is dead?” Ron said harshly.

“I don’t know Ron, I think she is right,” Harry said. “He hasn’t been- well, Malfoy.” Harry looked across the happy Hogwarts students and saw Malfoy returning Hermione’s gaze, seemingly lost in his own mind. “I wonder what happened anyway?”

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He saw her looking at him and matching his gaze, her brown orbs never wavering from his. Before he could help it, the memories flooded back…
”She must be killed, she is too dangerous.” -Voldermort

”The Dark Lord wants her dead. He is leaving this up to me.” -Lucius

”Father, you can’t kill her. Dumbledore would retaliate.” -Draco

”She is a mudblood, she deserves nothing but death. She is dangerous to His plans.” -Lucius ”I need to speak to you Professor Dumbledore. I know what they are going to do next. I know who they are after.” -Draco

”If he finds out I betrayed him I am dead.” -Draco

”I will offer you my protection.” -Dumbledore

”NOOOOOOOOOOooooo...

Draco awoke from his daydream at the memory of his father’s screams. He had been found out, and they had come for him, but Draco had fought back, and not alone. He had killed his father. Because of her, he had killed his blood. He saw her still staring at him. He could see in her eyes questions, questions he would never answer. After today, he doubted he would ever see her again. His cold heart ached at that thought, but it is what had to be done.

He couldn’t recall when he had started to change, or when he had started to view her in a different light. But it had taken years until he had killed for her. He had saved her very existence while condemning his and she would never know. At that moment Draco found his feet carrying them over towards her, against his will. He saw the surprise and slight fear in her eyes. But he had to say good-bye.

He continued walking till he was looking down at her. All conversation at the table ceased. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Weasley and Potter glaring daggers at him, but he didn’t care, he only had eyes for her. He saw her glance uncertainly around her, and then look to her left as someone from the table got up.

Draco turned to see who was approaching him.

Remus Lupin had stood up and walked slowly towards Malfoy. He stopped in front of him and took in his appearance. No longer a boy, but a man, a man with secrets and a lot of pain. Remus recalled what had happened, the owl from Dumbledore, the fight to save the girls life, the man before him killing his own blood to save the life of one he was destined to hate. Remus had been there and not told a soul. Draco’s life would be forfeit if the world knew.

Draco watched Lupin studying him, wondering if he was going to address him. Slowly, Remus stuck his hand out, his eyes never leaving Draco’s. Draco reached for his hand and shook it firmly. He would never have thought he would be shown decency and respect by this werew- no this man. “Take care Mr. Malfoy.” And with that Remus released his hand and walked back to his seat beside Potter who was looking incredulous at the scene before him.

He looked back at her to see Her looking up at him curiously, wondering if he would bite. Draco slowly put his hand out before him. She stared at it as though wondering if it was poisonous then looked back up into his eyes. Whatever she found there, she slowly stood up and gently took his hand in hers.

“What the f-?” Ron had started only to be shushed by a growl from Remus.

“Uh, congratulations Malfoy. Must be glad school is over?” She said nervously, her soft, warm hand still in his. He stared into her eyes and opened his mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. He could think of nothing. He looked down at their hands and slowly released hers from his. She stood before him now more confused then ever.

But then the words came to him and he looked into her eyes. “I’m not a perfect person Granger. Hell, I know that I hurt you and that is something I have to live with everyday. I never meant to do those things to you and I am sorry. But before I go -before I leave- I need you to know, that I found a reason to change who I used to be. A reason to start over.” He paused. “It’s you.” She gasped slightly at his words and the look in his eyes, but it had to be said. He can go now. He can rest now, knowing she is safe. Nothing matters anymore, not the pain, not the scars; she is safe.

“Good-bye Hermione,” Draco says softly and smiles a real smile for the first time. He turns away from her beautiful face, and walks across the Great Hall through the throng of happy students and parents. Whatever happens to him now, it doesn’t matter. And without a backward glance, Draco Malfoy left Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

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Well? Any thoughts? First Harry Potter fic so a little nervous with it. What Draco said to Hermione is from Hoobastank’s song, “The Reason”. I absolutely love it! I know it is a tad corny but if you have never heard the song download it, find it somewhere as it is amazing and I pretty much based this fic off the song. Well all, hope you have a good day!
Love, Ally
“In the end Captain, we all stand alone.”

Draco/Hermione Fic: Vindicated

2005-12-06T21:27:06Z

Title: Vindicated
Author: Hafthand (Ally)

Rating: PG

Summary: Hope. It dangles on a string before me and I just have to be man enough to reach out and grab it. Draco story.

Disclaimer: Property of JK Rowling and Dashboard Confessional

A/N: Story strongly inspired by Dashboard Confessional’s ‘Vindicated’. Dear god does this song scream Draco redemption.

STORY IS WRITTEN IN A VERY DIFFERENT FORM FROM MY NORMAL STUFF! Enjoy!

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Hope. It dangles on a string before me and I just have to be man enough to reach out and grab it. I never meant to find hope, never meant to be so captivated by its luminescent quality. Never would I have thought hope would find me and capture me so completely. But here I am, mesmerized by it so completely I find myself wanting to change everything I had been afraid to before. But now, now that I found hope…well maybe there is hope for me yet.
You see, I am flawed. So irreversibly flawed. You knew this. You saw this. But you refused to see the selfish, flawed, high headed boy I was. You saw something else, something more. And now maybe I am seeing something of that myself.

You had walked into my cabin. Innocent as a lamb for the slaughter. Guilty as a man hanged. You were contradiction, emotion, euphoria, lust, pain, sorrow all mixed into one impossible being. I let my eyes lift up to your angelic face and found your shocked eyes staring back. You didn’t think to find me here, not after what had happened. Not after what you had so diligently read in The Daily Prophet. No. Never in your dirtiest fantasies did you expect Draco Malfoy to be going back to Hogwarts.

The look you had on your face then, it made me angry. Did you really think so little of me? Did you really think I would be ashamed to show my face? Did the Malfoy name mean so little to a little witch like you?

But once again I had been wrong. I had never been able to read you. Not you. Never you. I was always so self assured. I could practically sense how others thought, pondered, wondered. But not you. Never you.

You stood lost in the whirlpools of your mind, running through various scenarios as to what to say, what to do, where to run, where to stay. You were trapped and free all at once. You couldn’t leave without being rude, and yet you could say anything and I would have been powerless to bite back. Such was my situation. Such was my predicament.

But you surprised me. You always surprise me. Your robes were hanging open, loose, lost to disarray. I could see your legs peeking out from below your uniform skirt. I had never noticed your legs. Your wild hair was wild and free, much like you. I had never really looked at you till then. I never could till that moment. I couldn’t move. I was powerless, trapped by the politics of our world, and you knew it then. You know it now.

Your lips parted and my name fell, tumbled, spilled forth and I was lost. Your eyes tore open my soul and you simply stood and analyzed it. Always the intellectual, Granger. Always.

What you found there, what you saw…it must have been enough. It had to be enough. Something in me begged for it to be enough.

Something was pulsing, changing, moving. An opening in a stonewall where nothing had penetrated before. I was lost alone in the dimness of my situation and you had simply walked to the door and slid it open. What would happen to me now? What future could possibly lay before a wizard such as me? My past, our past; my hate, our hate. It all stood between us there that day and yet you ignored it. You simply didn’t notice it anymore.

Can a person change so completely in an instant? Would a person want to?

If I had wondered that before that moment, the words that spilled forth from your red lips cemented it all in my mind.

‘Welcome back to Hogwarts Draco. Try and have a good year.’

That’s it. Simple. No flowery, over expressive words of hate or kindness. Just simple, open acceptance. No disdain, mocking, sarcasm.

I was captivated. You stood before me as never before. I had a choice, a chance, a decision. Would I remain as I was: lost, alone, condemned? Or could I finally be me?

Your hand reached out and hovered in front of you. I stared at it. So small, tiny. But Merlin so powerful. So much power in such a small thing. I have always been the closest to you in power and I didn’t even come close.

I waited. I stared. Still your hand hovered before me, before you, before us. Should I reach forward and grasp it? Could I do such a traitorous thing? Could I not?

I stood then. I had never enjoyed people looking down at me. I stood and I towered. Your neck craned so your eyes could capture mine.

It took only one touch. One single, simple, short caress of my fingers against yours and I was swept away.

Hope. It dangles on a string.

I reached out and took it.

I am certain now that I am vindicated.

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A/N: Different I know! Intense…yes. Disjointed yet flowy…yes! Any who, thoughts!
Love, Ally
‘Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'll be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away’
-Dashboard Confessional

My Fanfic

2005-12-06T21:17:49Z

So I have finally decided to get around to posting all my harry Potter and Firefly on here just in case something bad happens and my stories get deleted! Also, winter here in Glasgow is getting pretty cold. Maybe it will snow soon, though it is generally just plain wet!

Love, Ally

Totally fun link!!

2005-11-15T23:42:40Z

Found this while parusing (no idea on spelling!) the internet! Enjoy. I certainly did!

http://www.swartzer.com/writing/serenity2000.php

Love, Ally
'I'll be in Jayne's bunk!'

Firefly fic: In the Airlock

2005-11-15T19:19:18Z

Title: In the Airlock

Author: Hafthand (Ally)

Rating: PG-13

Summary: A man in an airlock. Rayne.

Disclaimer: Property of FOX and Joss!

A/N: This is in response to companion_au’s post over at Copper for a Kiss. She said that most Rayne fics mention Jayne heading towards the airlock, but he never actually gets there. So I figured for my first foray into Firefly fic I would write a really short piece about just that! Enjoy. Just some fluff really.

He didn’t rightly know how he got here. Okay so maybe that was a lie. He knew exactly how he got here. Didn’t mean he deserved to be sitting on his ass, half-naked and freezing. The Cap’n coulda at least let him throw a shirt on or something before heartlessly throwing him in the airlock. But then again Jayne always knew he’d end up here. Since takin’ up with the gorram crazy girl he knew his clock was tickin‘. He could just make out the very muffled sounds of shoutin’ from the other side of the airlock door. He had stopped watchin’ through the window bout an hour ago. A man could only stand so long in a freezing cold airlock with only a pair of pants for comfort..

Jayne found himself a little angry at the whole situation. A man has a right to take what he wanted. So what if what he wanted happened to be a barely eighteen year-old, governmentally altered, psychic, Alliance fugitive, slip of a girl? Really, could a person fault a man? She had been willin after all. More than willin. And he smiled at the memories. Wasn’t like he’d forced himself on her. He wasn’t that much of a monster. Hell girl was a right hellcat. It was an inevitability really. Only other option on the ship for him, and same for her. Helped that they both happened to be such fine specimens of human beings as well.

After Miranda he’d started lookin’ at the girl different like. Kinda hard not to really. Soon he found himself wantin’ her. Tried to fight it. Was doin’ a pretty good job of it as well. Till he found out she wanted him to. After that it was a downhill spiral. He knew they’d be found out someday. Didn’t think they would actually catch them in the act though. That part had been unexpected. When did people stop knockin anyway? But he had gone into this knowin’ full well what Mal would do to him. But he’d had a taste of her and he was damn sure not gonna give that up if he had the choice. Made him extra happy when she had kept up seekin’ him out. Sure he’d taught the little girl a few things, but then she’d taught him a couple as well.

But none of that mattered. Seemed as though no one would ever hear his side of things. They had all assumed he had forced himself on her. I mean did they not remember her killin’ all them Reavers? Stupid, thick headed… But his thoughts were cut off as he felt the doors behind him move. His body fell backwards and back into the cargo bay. He opened his eyes only to look up to meet two chocolate orbs he had found himself getting more and more lost in these days.

‘Hey crazy,’ he said through chattering teeth.

‘Hey ape-man,’ she said through a somewhat lucid smile.

‘Aw isn’t that just so sweet! They gone and got nicknames for each other,’ Jayne heard Kaylee gush from somewhere in the back.

River let out a short giggle. ‘You can come back in now. I talked to them.’

‘Took you long enough,’ Jayne grunted as he stood up, carefully avoiding looking at the others, though he could feel their gazes on him.

‘Yeah well, that’s what the man gets for calling her crazy all the time,’ she said with a pout. He growled slightly at the thought of biting into that lip of hers. He saw a flash in her eyes and realized she was teasin’ him on purpose.

He leaned in towards her and finally allowing his eyes to meet the rest of the crew’s, he whispered in her ear, ‘Careful there girly, or we’ll be givin’ these folks a show.’ He could see Simon glaring daggers at him and avoided noticing how Mal’s fingers were resting on his gun. Jayne suddenly felt her hands on his chest and he leaned back slightly. ‘What’s their verdict then?’

‘Choice is mine to make, not theirs to take,’ she sing-songed with a smile while playing with the hairs on his chest. ‘Simon almost went into cardiac arrest when he heard the length of time you had been sexin’ me up.’ Jayne couldn’t help chuckling at her use of words. Girl was spending too much time with him. Scary part was he was beginning to like it a whole lot more than he had thought. He actually found himself searchin’ her out sometimes. Used to only be the other way round.

‘Well then if the choice is yours to make, and they ain’t gonna throw me out the airlock, what say we go finish what they interrupted. Make your brother squirm a little,’ Jayne said grinning evilly and flashing Simon a look.

River smiled eagerly and grabbed his hand. Turning around she proceeded to lead him through the cargo bay towards her room. As they passed the others she said over her shoulder, ‘Playing games now. Try to knock if an interruption is unavoidable.’

Jayne laughed out loud and the string of Chinese curses he heard from the others and proceeded to throw River over his shoulder. He listened to her giggles as he carried her past the infirmary and into the hallway. He opened her door and threw her down onto her bed. He watched her lying there smiling p at him with those big eyes. Maybe this time he’d actually kiss the girl. After all, sex with her had been worth goin’ out the airlock, maybe it was worth a bit more. He saw her grin knowingly as she pulled him towards her.

‘Jayne Cobb doesn’t kiss on the mouth,’ she purred as he let his weight settle over her.

‘Yeah well Jayne Cobb don’t risk his life for a bit of trim either. But then Jayne Cobb seems to be breakin’ all sorts of rules lately,’ he whispered as he looked down at the tiny girl in his arms. ‘You up for breakin a few more with an old man like me?’ Her smile was all the answer he needed.

A/N: yeah so just a wee drabble as said above. Hope you liked.

Love, Ally

‘I’ll be in Jayne’s bunk!’